How to spot a narcissist? Some of you are married to one. Maybe there's some of you, your child is
developing these traits but the purpose of this video is also to help us to find those traits
and to identify them and deal with them within ourselves. Now first and foremost, I am not a
therapist. This video can't be used to diagnose somebody clinically with narcissistic personality
disorder. I'm going to address this topic from the Biblical perspective as well as identify some
basic traits of narcissistic behavior. Now, Narcissism is an excessive interest in one's
self and one's physical appearance. The word, 'Narcissism,' comes from a Greek myth in which
a handsome young man named 'Narcissus,' sees his reflection in the pool of water and falls in love
with it. So this gives rise to the perception that narcissists have a big sense of self-importance.
Here are 9 Traits of Narcissists. The first one is an Exaggerated Sense of Self-importance and they
believe, they are superior to others. The second one is the need for admiration. Narcissists often
seek constant praise and validation to reinforce their inflated self-image. Third one is Lack of
Empathy. They struggle to understand or care about the feelings and needs of others. Fourth
one is Entitlement. Narcissists tend to feel they deserve special treatment and may become angry or
resentful if they don't receive it. The fifth one is Narcissist Exploit Others. They manipulate or
take advantage of others for personal gain or to maintain their own self-esteem. Sixth
Trait is Envy. Narcissists may be envious of other people's achievements and they also believe that
other people are envious of them, pretty cocky. The seventh one is Arrogance. Narcissists often
display a haughty or condescending attitude toward others. The eighth trait is Fantasies of Success
and Power. Narcissists frequently fantasize about great achievements, great success, power or
admiration often without putting in any necessary effort. And the ninth trait is Fragile Self-esteem
despite their outward confidence. Narcissists often have a very fragile self-esteem that
is easily threatened by criticism or perceived failure. Now, I'm pretty sure if you're watching
this you probably have identified one or two of these traits in yourself. So we're going to tackle
right now with how to deal with a narcissist inside of you and this will also help to provide
some tools and helping people that maybe we are in relationship with, that are narcissists. Number
one is you have to know the Truth before the truth can set you free. The truth about what? Well,
the truth about what the Bible teaches concerning the traits of narcissism. Well, the first thing
that we need to know the first truth is about Pride. God often warns against Pride and Arrogance
and that's one of the main characteristics of Narcissistic behavior. The Bible says that, Pride
comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18. Satan's sin that
turned him from a glorified angel into a devil was pride and this pride will do no less to you and to
me. The second truth that we need to learn is what the Bible teaches about Self-centeredness. See,
narcissists tend to be self-absorbed and focused on their own needs, desires,
accomplishments and dreams. But the Bible teaches in Philippians chapter 2 verses 3 to 4, 'Do
nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather in humility, value others above yourselves,
not looking for your own interests but each one of you to the interests of others.' The third truth
is about the Lack of Empathy. Narcissists struggle to have compassion for other people. But see the
Bible teaches us in Colossians 3:12, Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The next truth that we
need to learn to help us overcome Narcissistic behavior is the Truth about Boasting and Bragging.
Narcissists may brag about their accomplishments or possessions. But the Bible teaches against
this kind of behavior. In James 4:16 it says, 'As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes.
All such boasting is evil.' Another truth that the Bible speaks against that narcissists have
is about Manipulation and Deceit. See, narcissists manipulate others for their own gain but the Bible
says in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 25, 'Let each one of you put off falsehood and speak
truthfully to your neighbor. For we are all the members of one body.' So as we begin to look at
the scripture and have the scripture provide the truth against our narcissistic tendencies,
attitudes and behaviors, only then we can be set free because the second thing that we need to
do to overcome narcissism is Repent of pride and take responsibility for our sin. It's time to take
ownership of our problems. We must realize that we have an inflated sense of worth that needs to
be addressed. The source of our problem lies with the sinful heart that only seeks to please itself.
So relying on the Holy Spirit to remind us daily of our responsibility to give God the first place
in all areas of our life and then to give us the grace to serve others. Repentance is the key.
Once you know the truth, what the Bible teaches about pride, about you know lack of compassion,
bragging, arrogance, manipulation, then comes the repentance, where we repent of our selfishness,
we repent of our ego, we repent of our pride. Third and this is painful. In order to remove
narcissism from your heart, you have to submit to correction. You must find trusted individuals that
you can rely on, people that truly care about you and have your best interest in heart, who can be
your accountability partners. Give them permission to confront you lovingly, whenever they see you
behaving in a narcissistic manner. Open yourself up to the constructive feedback and do not shut
down when they point out your shortcomings. The goal isn't necessarily to feel good about
ourselves or to feel bad about ourselves. But the goal is to change and God will use mentors,
pastors, sometimes He will use your own spouse to help you point out those blind spots,
if you really want to change. But most of us aren't going to embrace criticism, if we haven't
embraced the truth of God, what God teaches about narcissism and its characteristics and if we don't
repent. Now the fourth thing we must do is focus on Growing in Humility. Growth and humility is
not a gift or an instant miracle. Change, growth even desired or sought after is never automatic or
easy. It takes diligence. It takes a lot of focus. Due to our human nature to be selfish, it is easy
to be frustrated and actually to be discouraged when you're trying to grow in humility and
compassion. Frustration may come when you fail in some way or because you've done something driven
by your narcissism. You may feel jealous when you don't get your way or another person receives or
experiences something that you think you deserved instead. Don't let your missteps discourage you.
Stand firm and recommit yourself to your goal to grow closer to be more like Jesus. Jesus said,
'If you're weary, if you are burdensome, Come to Me, I will give you rest.; But then He says,
'Take My yoke upon yourself and learn from Me. For I am meek. For I am gentle.' So this idea of
taking Jesus's yoke upon us, it's a process. We will then final rest for our souls. It's a part
of our growth and sanctification and it could be a little bit discouraging sometimes because it
requires a little bit of patience. Now the fifth thing that we must do to deal with a narcissist
inside of us is draw our identity from the love of God that He has for us not from our success.
Spend each day in prayer asking God for guidance, confessing sin and reaffirming your trust in Him.
Center yourself at the beginning of each day by spending time to refocus on who you are according
to God's word. Remember, He is the source of all good things. He has given every gift and
ability to you to possess in life. He has given every gift and ability that you possess and that
you need in life. Meditate on appropriate Bible verses and your mentor, pastor or small group
leader or spouse can actually direct you to those verses and ask God to change your heart,
transform your character and make you more like Christ. The challenge with our identity
is that sometimes we begin to think that our worth increases with our wealth. We begin to draw our
identity from our income, from our influence but the Bible says that we are in Christ. Our identity
doesn't come from our number of followers. It doesn't come from how many people come to our
church, if we're pastors. It doesn't come from how many employees we have. It doesn't come from
our appearance. It comes directly from God and you cannot overcome narcissistic behavior and
traits until you rewire your habit to draw your identity not from your appearance, not from your
accomplishments, not from your affirmations that come from people and not from these external
things but when you focus on getting your identity from God, then you will begin to break the grip of
narcissism in your life. Number six, 'Deal with the issues of your childhood.' Why? Because a lot
of times individuals who are at risk of developing narcissism often experienced one or more of the
following things as children. Their needs or fears were viewed as unimportant and they were
even hated by their parents. They were not given appropriate affirmation or attention or they were
neglected and emotionally or verbally abused. They were given on the opposite, excessive praise and
were over indulged or too spoiled by their parents or that they learned manipulative behaviors from
their parents and sometimes they need to go to a counselor and get some inner healing to
untangle some of these generational patterns and break those generational curses and cycles
and confront these thought patterns with the Scripture and with the Truth. The seventh thing
that narcissists need is to, 'Get Deliverance from the Spirit of Pride.' Proverbs 16:18 says,
Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Have you noticed it says spirit?
So pride, arrogance, it's not just an emotion; it could be a demonic spirit, that manifests itself
in and through narcissistic characteristics and that evil spirit needs to be renounced and
rebuked and removed by and through deliverance. And the last thing that I would recommend is to,
'Get Counseling.' Yes. Deliverance is very helpful. Disciplining, repenting
is very important. But some people need serious professional Bible-based counseling because they
have developed into a narcissistic disorder that needs to be confronted with a professional help.
Now, if you're watching this video and maybe you're spotting these characteristics in yourself,
I want to challenge you to dive into God's Word and let God's Word confront the pride
and narcissism inside of you. If you're married to a narcissist, Hey, ask them to watch this video.
And if you are a person that maybe you need deliverance from pride and narcissism, I have
below this video an e-course where you can take and experience prayers that I pray with you, this
e-course is free of charge. And take these prayers individually by yourself and experience the
freedom or seek freedom and deliverance from your pastor or wherever you're going to church. So that
the spirit of pride, that the spirit of lucifer is broken and removed out of your life. Hey,
Thank you for watching this video. Let me know in the comment below, 'What did you learn from this
video?' 'Do you have a testimony of freedom from narcissistic behavior or are you needing to be
repenting today and getting delivered from this?' Let's share your experience below this video.