Heya playa, if you're single you probably already know that modern dating sucks.
It feels nearly impossible to get someone's attention
when you have so much competition out there.
There are so many people DMing the same girls that you're trying to reach
that your messages just get washed away because they may come from
better-looking guys or richer guys or guys that just have way more status than you do.
In some ways just giving up on dating seems like the most logical approach to take.
That's what Prime Philosophy thought in his comment here.
"Should I really try to be a better me to engage in the dating scene?"
If you try to work on yourself, are you no longer being yourself?
Are you being inauthentic?
That's worth exploring.
Let's dive into that.
If you've watched enough of my videos you know I come from the perspective of really highlighting
the fact that every single person is unique and that uniqueness is what makes you special.
Now that framing alone bothers a lot of people because they really try to apply
that uniqueness and see how does it fit in dating.
Me being unique doesn't really change the
fact that women don't want to date me so what does it matter?
And whenever I see that point raised, I realize that they're actually right.
You being unique doesn't mean that other people are going to find you more dateable.
Your uniqueness and what makes you special is
something that a person really has to dive in and get to know better.
On the superficial level just looking at your profile on a dating site,
they're not going to see that because
most likely they're focusing on the physical attributes that are right there in front of them.
The reason why I put such a huge emphasis on recognizing
that you are special just the way you are.
That there's no one else in this world exactly like you is to acknowledge your own self-worth.
We sometimes allow other people to determine that for us.
If other people like us, if other people find us dateable
then we feel like we're worthy of love and care and of dating.
And that's simply not true.
Where we confuse the two is trying to merge your worth which is inherent with
the value that you may bring to someone else in a potential dating scenario.
Let's say for example you had an old stuffed teddy bear.
Now, this teddy bear wasn't a rare thing at all, just something you've held on to forever.
Its fluff is no longer as fluffy, its eye is falling out.
The value to someone else might be nothing.
They may say that it's not really worth anything at all.
But to you, because you've had such a strong attachment to it that bear is priceless.
The worth of that bear to you might be everything
while the value to someone else might be nothing and dating really is no different.
Just because someone may not value you for being you doesn't mean you don't have self-worth.
Doesn't mean you can't love and appreciate who you are.
And I know some of you are thinking, yada yada yada that doesn't really help me get
a girlfriend, that's what I'm really focused on.
Women seeing me as potential dating material.
Let's cover that too.
In Prime Philosophy's comment, he acknowledges the fact that humans by nature are judgmental.
We categorize people, we judge them based on the little that
we know about them or based on how they look.
So because of that reasoning, he feels it's not really worth
changing himself or doing anything different to try to appeal to
anyone else in a dating scenario and that's what I really take issue with.
I think if you wanted to succeed in any area of your life there is the
perception of how you think it may go versus the reality of how it actually
will go and really navigating that area is bridging the gap between the two of those.
I raised this point in another video that I did where I talked about the Peter Pan persona.
It's basically walking into a dating scenario and just expecting things to work out.
Being unwilling to try something new.
Now that's not to say that's what you're doing Prime Philosophy,
I think you might be coming more from the camp of you've tried things and they just
don't seem to be working out because you look at the glaring reality of what's there in front of
you in terms of the dating market and you feel like it's not worth trying anymore.
A lot of people fall into that bucket not because
of stubbornness or unwillingness to change but because of exhaustion.
They're tired of trying everything they can
to be more dateable and just having it not work out for them.
So they figure the easiest thing to do is to just give up.
To stop stressing out about it, to stop worrying about finding a partner or dating someone.
They just kind of cut that area off from their life.
What then occurs is almost this type of settling for something you
don't really want because you feel like it's just too hard to obtain.
Just like Prime Philosophy said, if it happens, it happens.
If it doesn't, it just wasn't meant to be.
And while I empathize with that perspective,
finding love or a partner or companionship are things not worth giving up on.
It may take changing your perspective on how you obtain those things or who you obtain them with
but it's still worth fighting for.
It's so easy to get pulled into the black and white narrative that it's
you versus some random Chad online and you stand absolutely no chance.
Dating is hopeless for you, take the black pill, give up.
Instead what you can actually try doing is finding a community centered around things that you enjoy.
Meeting people that have common interests and hobbies and pursuing people in those
areas because you might have a better chance since you already have things in common.
I often look at online dating like shopping in a bookstore.
Of course, the book with the prettier cover is going to get noticed more,
is going to get purchased more.
Yeah, that's obvious.
That's the simple point.
But, when you have people walking in looking for very specific types of books,
they go to that category.
And when they go to that category they're not going to go based on cover,
they're going to go based on information.
Based on credibility.
Based on what they know about that book.
They might flip through it, read a little bit about it, read the back cover,
really dive in deeper because they're looking for something
beyond the superficiality of what's front and center.
So Prime Philosophy, to answer your question: Is it wrong to change yourself in the face of dating?
Are you giving up your authenticity by doing so? I would argue no.
Because working on being your best self is recognizing your own self-worth and
acknowledging different areas of your life that you want to improve.
Whether that's better communication with other
people, forming deeper connections, or feeling more confident in who you are.
These are all internal things that reflect on the outside but help you feel better as a person.
So if you're someone that struggles with starting conversations I don't
see anything wrong with learning how to converse better with people.
Maybe it's learning different tactics for keeping conversations going or
it's learning how to start conversations or how to get people more interested in them.
Learning these little pieces is not changing yourself
in a detrimental way or changing yourself in an inauthentic way.
You're simply working on being a better person so that you can feel proud of who you are.
Now there is a potential that this video might reach the black pill community so
if you're someone that feels like you've taken the
black pill and given up on dating, leave your comments down below.
Let me know your thoughts on what I shared and if you haven't already check out my black pill video.
I'm going to link it up on the screen right now, otherwise, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.