(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> HI!
(APPLAUSE)
>> THANK YOU, COME ON!
GON, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
I'M MELISSA McCARTHY.
I'M NOT JAMES CORDEN, ALTHOUGH I DO GET THAT A LOT.
WHICH IS FUNNY.
I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.
IS AONE ELSE HERE TONIGHT WEARING THEIR INCLUSION ROBE?
(LAUGHTER) ANYONE
I SEE, I SEE A COUPLE OF HANDS UP-- NO, YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS,
MAYBE UP THERE, I THOUGHT-- NO?
THERE IS USUALLY A COUPLE.
MAYBE THEY ARE IN THE BATHROOM, JUST BEING INCLUSIVE.
REALLY.
SO YEAH, THIIS MY INCLUSION ROBE FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
(APPLAUSE) >> THANK YOU.
>> I MEAN I KNOW THAT JAMES WOULD ONLY CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS
AND I DON'T WANT TO SAY THAT IS WRONG OR THAT JAMES CORDERN IS
TERRIBLE OR THAT JAMES CORDEN ONLY RECOGNIZES HOLIDAYS THAT
ARE IMPORTANT TO HIM.
I MEAN I'M NOT SAYING THAT.
IF YOU ARE THINKING IT, I CAN'T STOP THAT BUT I JUST THINK THAT
PEOPLE SHOULD CELEBRATE WHATEVER HOLIDAYS OR DON'T CELEBRATE
HOLIDAYS OR DON'T HAVE AN OPINION, EITHER WAY.
ALL OF THIS IS REALLY JUST OKAY FOR ME, CELEBRATED COUNTRIES
MARKS OR CELEBRATE HANUKKAH OR KWANZA OR NATIONAL FRUIT CAKE
DAY, O OR GUY, DECEMBER 27th IT IS UNDERRATED. BUT CHECK IT
OUTK I HAVE A FEELING IT WILL BE BIG THIS YEAR, IT IS THEIR BY
CENTENNIAL WHICH IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THEIR
PIE-CENTENNIAL WHICH IS IN JULY.
SO THAT'S FUN.
I ACTUALLYK I GOT IN ROBE, FUN FA, THERE WAS A SISTER ACT 2
EXHIBIT IN PLANET HOLLYWOOD.
I THINK THAT IS KIND OF LIKE THE DICEY, VEGAS, ALL OF THAT.
I JUST STRAIGHT UP AND TOOK IT AND I THK THEY WERE WONDERING
BUT SOMETIMES YOU ARE FAMOUS, YOU CAN KIND OF WAWSK OUT WITH
THINGS.
SO I DID THAT.
AND OF COURSE, YOU ARE LOOKING AT THIS AND YOU PROBABLY ASSUME
CERTAIN THINGS LIKE WOULD YOU ASSUME THIS IS A SANTA PATCH?
WELL, MAYBE, BUT MAYBE IT'S NOT SANTA.
SOME OF YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT THIS AND SAY HEY, IS THAT A
SANTA PATCH.
AND SOME WILL YOU SAY HEY IS THAT A THICK GAL NAMED MAUREEN
WHO OF LOS RED.
AND EITHER WAY, IT IS OKAY I MEAN YOU KNOW, THE BEARD LOOKED
A LITTLE WEIRD TO ME.
ANYWAY, THERE IS ALSO A MENORAH HERE, REPRESENTING IF YOU ARE
JEW YOU WERE.
OR ALSO I THINK IT LOOKS VERY MUCH LUKE A TRIDENT.
SO IN CASE YOU ARE LIKE REALLY INTO AQUAMAN.
SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING, TAKE NOTE, WE ARE BRINGING LAND AND
OCEAN TOGETHER.
WOW, RIGHT?
GOOD FOR US.
(APPLAUSE) AND LET'S NOT FORGET QUEEN OF
ENGLAND.
A LOT OF BRITS AROUND THIS SHOW.
I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE THEM O.
HERE IS WHAT IS REALLY COOL ABOUT THIS, SHE IS 93 NOW SO
THIS IS TO SCALE, THIS IS HER ACTUAL SIZE.
YEAH.
ISN'T THAT NEAT.
THIS HERE REPRESENTS THE WORLD CHAMPION 1991 CHICAGO CHICAGO
BULLS.
THAT'S NOT REALLY A HOLIDAY BUT IT SHOULD BE.
ALSO I'M FROM CHICAGO AND IF I DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT I GET
A LOT OF GUFF.
TINY SWEATER REPRESENTS ALL THOSE HUSBANDS WHO FINALLY DID
LAUNDRY FOR THE FIRS TIME.
WE LOST A LOT OF GOOD SWEATER THIS YEAR.
OH, HERE, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
THIS IS MY OLD BLOCKBUSTER CARD.
AND FOR ME IT REALLY SYMBOLIZES PATIENCE, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT
TOOK ME A LOT OF TIME, I WOULD GO TO THE STORE, GET THE COPY OF
DIEHARD, TAKE IT HOME, FORGET I LEFT IT ON THE COFFEE TABLE,
THEN HE PUT IT IN A DRAR AND I'M RACKING UP FEES AND THEN I
HAD TO WAIT THEM OUT UNTIL BLOCKBUSTER WENT OUT OF
BUSINESS.
I MEAN MIRACLES DO HAPPEN, GUYS.
THAT'S-- THE DONUT, THAT SAY GOOD ONE.
THIS IS JUST A DONUT.
BUT THR'S GOOD, RIGHT?
THAT'S MY ROBE, YOU KNOW.
(APPLAUSE) SO IT IS KIND OF LIKE THOSE
BUMPER STICKERS YOU SEE THAT SAY COEXIST, YOU KNOW, I THINK IT IS
SPELLED OUT IN SOME KIND OF WICCAN LETTERS AN DIFFERENT
RELIGEONS.
IT IS JUST LIKE THAT, EXCEPT IT IS A LOT MORE CONVOLUTED AND
HEAVIER AND WARMER.
SO THERE IS THAT.
SO HAPPY HOLIDAYS, OR NOT, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK ABOUT
IT, REALLY, WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT, DUBTS HAVE TO BE IN A
BOAT, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BOAT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FLOAT.
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GET IN A BOAT.
WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT BOATS.
THIS HAS REALLY GOTTEN AWAY FROM ME.