- [Narrator] Have you ever asked yourself, am I toxic?
If so, then you are taking a step in the right direction.
Being self-aware is the first stage of acceptance
that you and everyone around you are imperfect.
Sometimes you don't notice that your habits
are harmful to you and your loved ones.
And that's why it's good to learn more about them
and how to reduce that behavior.
So here are six signs
that you are unintentionally toxic, but not malicious.
Number one, you make a lot more promises than you can keep.
Do you have a habit of promising a lot of things?
Things like, "I promise I won't tell anyone your secret."
But then you end up spilling it out later on.
If you tend to over promise and under deliver,
you might not notice
that you're being unintentionally toxic.
Generally, over promising stands
from our desire to be liked or accepted.
But this can damage your relationships
and even your reputation.
In order to break away from this habit,
it helps to take your time before promising something.
Try considering, will you be able to stand by it?
What are its consequences if you do break them?
By identifying these things,
you will know the weight of what you're about to promise.
Be straightforward and communicative about your limits.
They'll understand your side
as long as you're clear about it.
Number two, you use pity to get the things that you want.
You find yourself using other people's pity or guilt.
Things like, "I feel so tired
of doing everything in this house."
"If only someone could help me with the dishes
that would be great."
Or maybe "It's been so long since I had time for myself
and I still have to be on duty tonight."
Just debate someone else in taking your shift out of pity.
These actions are a form of manipulation
and it also stems from you not knowing
how to ask for help directly.
You probably aren't used to opening up.
This can lead others to see you
as selfish or outright manipulative.
It's helpful to know when to ask for help directly.
Other people will understand.
And when you reach out for help,
it shows that you trust them.
Be respectful, considerate, yet straightforward enough
to get your point across.
Don't be afraid to take help and be generous in giving it.
Number three, you're defensive.
Do you notice that you're constantly blaming people
or outside factors?
Blaming is an easy way out.
We make someone or something else responsible
rather than owning up to our past.
You may feel inclined to do so
because you wanna prove that you're right,
to the point where you victimize as yourself.
But sometimes being right doesn't solve the situation.
What was the problem in the first place?
What can you do to fix it?
Try to think as a team
rather than calling out individual faults.
There are always multiple sides to a situation.
So the next time you find yourself in this situation,
try asking yourself, how can you be better?
By do so, you're taking part of the blame
and working to find a better solution.
Number four, you're overly sensitive.
Do you feel like you need to have a response to everything?
When you're too sensitive
you may feel like everyone is against you
or that what they say is a confrontation
to your existence or belief.
Being too sensitive may be caused by low self-esteem.
You may feel like you have
to be constantly on the defensive.
This usually stems from a rough childhood upbringing.
If you were constantly ridiculed about things
you didn't have control of, chances are
you grew up with insecurities over them.
In trying to heal from becoming too sensitive,
it's good to be self-aware.
Acknowledge your tendencies and attempt
to not defend yourself against them.
Indulge in what self-care means to you.
Identify which parts of yourself you like and focus on them.
Once you have a healthy view of yourself and identity,
you'll be more than capable
of shrugging other people's opinions off.
Number five, you are exceedingly pessimistic.
Are you the type of person
who always expects the worst outcome?
Let's say someone compliments you,
do you simply appreciate the gesture
or think that there's something more behind it?
Being pessimistic means that
you always see the negative side things.
When other people are constantly subjected
to this cynical energy, they might feel that
you are a kill joy who wants nothing but
to dampen the mood for them.
It may be that you're pessimistic
for the sake of being practical and realistic,
but sometimes it's good to let loose and have fun.
Plus being too negative
can cause stress, anxiety, and depression.
There are always better ways
to approach situations rather than being pessimistic.
Try to run words in your head first
before saying them out loud.
Do you think it would ruin the mood?
If so, then there's probably a better way
and time to say it.
Developing a positive mindset is a conscious effort.
Look at solutions instead of potential problems.
That way, you're not wallowing in the bad stuff.
Lastly, it's best to surround yourself
with supportive, understanding and optimistic people.
And number six, you rely on others for validation.
When you're too caught up in other people's opinions
to the point where you plan your life
or you're complimented, you may not notice
that you're being toxic.
Not to them, but to yourself.
Your body, your personality, your skills,
every part of you is beautiful.
Every part of you is important.
But if you need other people to say it
before you can feel validated,
you may be facing insecurities due to low self-esteem.
If you notice yourself relying on other people's views
more than your own, try to take a step back
and examine why you feel that way.
Do you want to feel accepted?
Is your own opinion not enough on this matter?
Why do you think so?
Take small conscious steps to a happier self
to rely less on outside validation.
It can work wonders.
Did you relate to this video?
Remember that you're not a bad person
if you can relate to these signs.
You're already better by educating yourself about it.
Do you have experiences with friends
who are being unintentionally toxic?
How do you handle them?
Share your experiences in the comment section below.
We appreciate hearing your stories.
Leave a like and share this video with a friend
if you think it'll help them.
As usual, all references are in the description.
Thanks for watching, until next time.