- [Woman] What is something you used to believe
about yourself that you no longer believe?
- I strongly believe, like I was so special,
I was a chosen one, and this wasn't like little kid fantasy,
oh, I'm a superhero, I legitimately was in church,
like Jesus gave me a power.
(upbeat music)
- (Man) What's something you used to believe about yourself
that you no longer believe?
- Ooh, this question.
- Huh.
- Oh man.
- Wow.
- Oh my God.
- Oh God.
- (Woman) What's something you used to believe
about yourself that you no longer believe?
- I used to believe I was a goddess.
- Gonna be an astronaut.
- President.
- A hero
- That am invisible. - Invisible.
- I used to believe that I was better than many people
actually.
- That I'm superior because I can speak well.
- That I was the best at everything.
- Do everything without help.
- I used to believe that I was gonna to get rich.
I was gonna have it all together,
by the time I was 30 years old.
- End, does not apply, I am learning and growing,
and I will fuck up.
- I used to believe that I wasn't like adaptable.
- Adaptable.
- Can't adapt to change.
- I felt like I was gonna like, come across Michael Jackson
but I've never seen him.
- [Woman] Okay okay.
- I used to think that I was really shy.
- I'm not shy at all, I'm in front of a camera right now.
- That I'm a good guy.
I think I'm just a guy.
- That I was a hater.
- A monster.
- That I wasn't like working hard enough.
- Capable enough.
- Lazy.
- That I was a bad person.
- Kind and understanding person.
I've come to learn that I have some blind spots as far
as actually understanding people.
- I think as a youth,
I thought I was more of a humanitarian,
but then I got exposed to people and I.
(laughs)
- Thought that I was nice until I until I sit back
and reflect, I'm like oh you weren't that nice.
- Used to think I was nice, now I really don't care.
There's something about being nice, as a woman,
as a black woman, that means I have to be in service
to others before I am to myself.
- We're taught that our worth and relationship
to others is based on what we can offer physically.
- It wasn't okay to be strong, beautiful, confident.
- I used to believe I had to contort myself.
- Assimilate.
- Say yes to everything.
- Be in the background
and that things would just magically be okay,
and that is completely wrong.
- I used to believe that I was stuck.
- Couldn't accomplish anything.
- There were things that I couldn't do.
- Only had two options in life,
which was either NFL or jail.
- Never own a home.
- I used to believe I was weak.
- Weak. - Scared.
- Afraid. - That I needed more.
- That I need a white savior.
- That I wasn't, as talented, as my peers.
- That other people were better than me.
- That everyone of non-color was a friend.
- I used to be like, what's wrong with me?
- For being black, for being trans.
- I always thought that I was weird.
- Weird.
- A freak, cause no one else in my family got this dark.
- Think I was too dark.
- Hating, like the color of my skin.
- I used to believe that I wasn't black.
- [Man] What was that journey like for you?
- Beautiful.
I feel like more self aware and can be proud
and just say, I'm black.
- [Woman] What is something you used to believe
about yourself that you no longer believe?
- The way I grew up, every time I did something, even
if it wasn't that bad, could be the smallest thing, I'm like
I'm going to hell, I'm going to hell.
- Jesus gave me a power.
One day I was really leaning into my power and I was like
I know this is gonna happen,
and then the exact opposite happened
and I had a talk to Jesus, I literally prayed,
and I was like, what am I supposed to do?
And I swear, the voice of Jesus was like, girl
I never told you that you were psychic, please stop.
- [Man] What's something you used to believe about yourself
that you no longer believe?
- That I'm black and ugly.
- Ugly. - Ugly.
- [Woman] Who made you think that?
- Like literally, kids at my high school
said black people are ugly to my face,
like that made me think that.
- Hearing texts and messages from girls,
Oh, you ugly, you this and that.
- I wanted my hair straight and manageable,
like a white person's because I thought
that's what beauty was.
- Because of Eurocentric beauty standards.
- But then I just realized no I'm just black
surrounded by a bunch of white people.
- I don't think I'm ugly anymore, I'm damn fine.
- I used to believe that I wasn't good enough.
- Good enough.
- Good enough. - Wasn't enough.
- Not as good.
- Every time there was a problem, it was me,
you know like somehow it was always me.
- That I wasn't lovable.
- Don't deserve.
- Don't fit.
- I used to believe that people cared,
and I'm on the bridge of wondering people still care,
because it makes me feel silly, when I care.
- What's something you used to believe about yourself
that you no longer believe?
- I used to think of myself as very much unimportant.
I don't believe that anymore, I believe I'm particularly
and exceptionally important,
I think everyone ought to have that thought.
- I know if I put the work in,
I can do anything I put my mind to.
- Going after it.
- Go for it.
- I don't need a law degree to talk about the law.
- I can make a difference.
- I have the ability to use my voice,
to bringing people together.
- My now best friend taught me how to
be unapologetically me, embracing the queer me,
the black in me, and just loving all those identities
into one big bundle blanket.
So yeah, I used to think I was worthless
but now I'm unapologetically black and queer and happy.
(laughs)