- Bill Gates was hosting his goalkeeper's event in New York.
And so he invited me to come and speak
and they're doing some amazing things.
It's not just the organization who,
the people they're supporting.
And I get to the event and I speak for like 10 minutes
and I get off stage and I'm like waving at the crowd
and I'm walking backwards off the stage,
moving to the backstage area.
And then I crash into like a person.
And as I crash into them,
I see the eyes of people looking at me.
And everyone was like, oh shit, what have you done?
You know what I mean?
And I'm like, calm down, humans bump humans all the time.
And I turn and the person I bumped into was Barack Obama.
Right?
Yeah, but like physically, like when I say bump,
I mean like bump, like, you know,
and so I turn and then he's like a, whoa,
But literally, his hands are up.
And then he's like, watch where you go.
And then (audience laughs)
Yeah, he says what he said, watch where you walk.
And so I turned and then I was like, hey man,
I'm walking over here.
And you should have seen everyone's face.
They were like, oh shit.
'Cause I think they thought I didn't recognize him
or I didn't know who he was.
You could see people like,
that's the president of the United States of America.
And I was like, yo man, calm down.
And so I was like, hey, how are you Mr. President?
I haven't seen you in a while.
And he's like, oh, I'm doing good.
How you been?
You're good, you're good?
I'm like, yeah, I'm good.
And like, I'm looking at his face
and I didn't intend this,
but I'm looking into his eyes and I'm speaking to him.
And in that moment, I really like,
he's looking really, really good.
Like his skin is looking fuller.
Do you know what I mean?
No, he's just, he doesn't look as stressed as he was.
And so it slipped out.
I didn't plan it at all.
So I'm speaking to him, he's like, how you doing?
Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
And then he says that.
And then I was like, I was like,
you're looking cute, Mr. President.
(audience laughs)
And he goes, he goes, well, thank you, thank you.
And I was like, no, no, no.
I meant, I meant like, you look good.
What is my favorite accent to do?
It depends on the day, I'm not gonna lie.
It depends on the day.
Sometimes I'll choose an accent for the day
if I'm on vacation.
Genuinely, I'll just walk around and I'll like,
just be on vacation.
Or some days like, like, I'll just be like, oh,
I'm Australian for the day and I'll just walk around
and I'll just be Australian.
You know the great thing about an Australian accent
is that you always sound happy because always
it doesn't matter what it is,
but it always goes up
and it's like really exciting you know.
It's just got that thing.
Like even if an Australian gave you bad news,
it always sounds good.
It's like, hey mate, your mom's dead.
(audience laughs)
It's just.
So yeah.
(audience clapping)
One of my favorite things to do though, is sometimes,
'cause I don't really impersonate general accents.
I impersonate people.
So the Australian that I do
is a friend of mine from Australia.
And then like the,
like if I do like a Nigerian accent
is a friend of mine from Nigeria.
And because I can't,
because people all have different accents.
Do you know what I mean?
So I don't know what an Indian accent is.
I know what my Indian friend sounds like.
So I just impersonate his accent.
And then like Trinidad,
I just know my friend from Trinidad.
This is his accent.
So just, I just do his accent.
And then I remember like one day I did the Trini accent
and then people from Trinidad, they were like,
that's not how people in Trini talk.
And then I was like, yo, you talk to him.
That's how he sounds, and then they shut on him.
'Cause he's on like Instagram and stuff.
And they're like, dude, what happened to your accent?
Why you talking like?
He's like, guys, I haven't lived in America.
I've lived in America for a long time.
And like it's not my fault.
I didn't try to change my accent.
They're like you leading Trevor Noah wrong.
You're not speaking the way we're supposed.
(audience laughs)
So I'm just like, I just do people.
That's all I'm doing.
I am always intrigued by people who want
like rappers to perform,
but they want the clean versions of the songs.
Mostly because I'm always fascinated by the people
who are listening to the clean version
and like, do they just not know what's going on there?
(audience laughs)
Like so like, are there some people at these events
where like a rapper comes and performs
and like he's got lewd lyrics
and then the rapper's up there and he's like
I stick my in her and she knows that it's like,
and I know that.
And then there's some people in the audience
who are like, I wonder what he's sticking?
I wonder, I wonder what?
Like what do you think is happening in the song?
Like what?
Clean versions of hip hop songs
are such a strange concept to me.
Why would you want to hip hop just without like hip hop?
(audience laughs)
I like it, I like hip hop a lot.
I just don't like some of the things they say.
Which parts?
You know, the cussing, you know, yeah.
Just like the lewd sexual acts.
Other than that, I love hip hop.
You sure you don't like country?
No, no, I like hip hop.
I like hip hop a lot.
They should make clean versions of other songs
for other people.
Like other styles of music.
'Cause maybe like cursing is not something that affects you.
Maybe, maybe you don't like country
because you don't like heartbreak.
So you can be like,
can I get a clean version of the country song,
but without the heartbreak in the song?
And then when they sing it,
it just doesn't have the heartbreak at all.
So just be like Mary Jane, she my heart.
(audience laughs)
It's like, yeah, I don't want to hear about heartbreak.
It's the clean version.
That's what this is.
So the blackout happened,
Dave, what day was the blackout?
Saturday.
So, so Dave and I, we live in the, in the same building
and he came from South Africa with me
to come work on the Daily Show, right.
And so which it's blackout, our building is gone.
Everything is shut down.
Someone's trapped in the elevator.
And we were all chilling together in Dave's apartment.
He's the only person who had candles.
I've never thought of candles.
(audience laughs)
I've never.
I've genuinely never thought of candles.
He just like lit candles.
Like I didn't even think of these things.
And so, our other friend
who's staying in the building visiting comes down.
So now you've got these three black people
from South Africa hanging out together.
We're just chilling.
We're having a good time.
And what happens is because we're doing nothing now
in the blackout.
And so we needed to move a TV from one apartment
to another apartment, right.
Which I know is a weird thing, but like long story short,
like one person needed a TV to watch something in 4k
and they didn't have a 4k TV,
so we're like, we'll move the 4k TV to your apartment
so you can watch the thing.
So anyway, so we're like, okay, cool.
Let's get the TV, let's move the thing.
And so, there we are like in the hallway,
this is like, it's a pretty big TV.
It's like a 60-inch TV, you know, like carrying the thing.
And then like walking in the hallway.
And as we walk into the hallway, the lights come on.
(audience laughs)
And then, and then like out like all the neighbors come out.
'Cause everyone was to see if the lights are on everywhere.
So everyone like opens their doors in the hallway.
And then it's like we're there with the TV.
And you know what's funny is,
'cause I love my neighbors and we know each other and you,
you like the neighbors are hey.
And they're like, Hi Trevor, hi David.
And we're like, it's our TV.
(audience laughs)
We're just, we're moving into another.
And you could just see, it was like an awkward moment.
It was like, oh man.
So in my family, my two younger brothers
are from my mother's second marriage.
And so I'm still the only person in my family
who looks like this.
So my mom is a African woman, black Xhosa woman.
My father is Swiss from Switzerland, so he was a white man.
And so I look like this.
And then my mom remarried a black man.
And so my brothers don't look like me either, all right.
And I remember what was really beautiful
was my brothers, we always spoke about this stuff.
So my parents, they were like, yeah, different dads.
We get how this works.
So my brother, one day I pick him up from school, right.
He's like, he's really young at the time.
It was maybe like, I'm trying to think,
it was nine, maybe 10 years old.
And he gets in the car and he's like, just deflated.
He gets in the passenger seat and fastens his seatbelt.
And I'm like, what's going on Isaac?
And he's like, hey, Trevor.
He's like, kids man.
I can't do this kids.
(audience laughs)
So I go, kids? Tell me more.
And then he's like, I just,
I just don't know what to do with kids, Trevor.
You know, like today, one of my friends said,
oh, are we walking home?
Then I said, no, my brother's picking me up.
Then he says, who's your brother?
Then I said Trevor.
Then now when we're walking, he sees you in the car.
Then he says, who's that?
Then I say it's my brother.
Then he says, but how can your brother,
how can your brother be white?
Then I said, he's not white.
He's not white, he's mixed.
Then he said, but you're not mixed.
You don't look the same.
How can your brother not look the same?
Then, so now I'm like, aw, man,
I'm gonna have to like go through this.
So then I'm like, so, so what did you say to him?
He's like, ah Trevor, like,
I had to explain it the way kids understand.
(audience laughs)
He said, I just said to him, I said, Zuele,
you've got to understand,
like, people are like chocolates, okay.
Like, you can have like a white chocolate
and you can have a dark chocolate
and you can have a milk chocolate,
but it's all Nestle, okay.
(audience laughs)
I was thinking like,
I think part of the problem in America is that 911,
people think of 911 as being instant response.
And 'cause like, when I was growing up in South Africa,
one of my favorite TV shows I used to watch with my mom
was a show called Rescue 911, right, with William Shatner.
And it was like a show where they'd go like
911, do you have an emergency?
And I'd be like, hi, I'm in my house.
And something, and then like 911 would get there.
And I remember even when we were watching and stuff,
we'd be like, wow 911, 911.
And this is in Africa.
I'd be like 911.
And we never thought of our numbers
'cause they started, they tried a thing in South Africa
called 10 triple one.
'Cause they tried to be like, yeah, we've also got a thing.
And people like 10 triple one?
It was like, no, 'cause they tried to go with that feeling,
but we never thought of it as instant response.
Because if you would call our like call centers
it wouldn't be as efficient.
And so like in America,
I think people are used to the fact
that something will get done now.
So I was thinking what you should do is
just to like dull it for a bit.
You should bring the South African operators here
just so that people stop thinking 911
is like an instant solution.
'Cause like South Africans, like, they'll ask you questions.
Like in American they just go, someone's getting robbed.
They're like we're on our way.
Like I heard with 911, even if you call them
and then hang up, they'll come to check what happened.
Which is, I mean, I get it.
But I'm also like, that's crazy.
Whereas in South Africa, like if you, like, if they called,
if you had South African operators doing 911,
like you'd call, you'd be like, hello,
there's a man at the park and they'll be like, hello,
can I help you?
You'd be like, yeah, there's a man at the park.
And it'd be like, and?
He looks really suspicious.
Be like, okay, go talk to him.
(audience laughs)
Ask him what he's doing.
Ask him his name, what he's doing there?
Be like, I'm scared of talking to him.
Be like, okay, walk away then.
Go away.
Like they would just be like, you go, like,
it's just people here just like the cops are gonna know,
the cops are not coming for everything.
Like, here you can call 911 'cause your cat is in a tree.
That is some crazy ass shit in Africa
that you'd just be like
yeah, you'd be like, hello my cat's in the tree.
They'd be like, oh, okay.
(audience laughs)
Yeah.
You'd be like, my cat's stuck in the street.
They'd be like, yeah.
So what must we do?
I need your help with it.
They'd be like, then how will your cat learn?
Let the cat suffer, it will never do that again.
(audience laughs)
Thank you for calling.
Please stay on so you can rate this call.
Thank you very much.
I tried to start learning German
because my dad is Swiss-German, right.
And so I was like, I want to learn his language
'cause I never learned it growing up.
And then someone was like, why don't you learn Swiss?
And then I heard Swiss and I was like, no.
I'd rather learn German.
And so I learned German
because I thought it would bring us closer together, right.
'Cause I lost contact with my dad for like 10 years.
And so then when I met him again, I was like,
I want to learn German and impress him and whatever.
And I met him
and then like started speaking to him in German.
And he was like, well, what are you doing?
I was like, I'm speaking German.
And he's like, no, it's better if you speak English.
No, no, this is, he's like,
it's better if you don't speak German at all, it's fine.
But then now I could speak a bit of German.
So I was excited to go to Germany and stuff and practice.
And then, you know, I'd had a lot of fun.
Until I found out that my,
the way I spoke German sounded a little bit like Hitler.
Yeah, which no one told me on this side of the world
because we don't know how he really spoke or anything,
but I would be in Germany
and apparently the way I would hit certain inflections
would freak people out.
(audience laughs)
And it's like, think of it like Barack Obama's voice.
Like if someone learned English in America and they got here
and they were like, I just wanna have a,
you'd be like, hey, you're doing the Barack Obama thing.
And they'd be like, oh, what are you talking about?
You know what I mean?
So I would do that.
Like I've gone to places
and then I'd like order food and like some would be there
and they'd be like (speaking German)
And then I'd be like (speaking German).
And the people, like people would look at me.
And then when we left, my friend was like,
I was like, why were they looking?
Did I say it like wrong, wrong word?
She's like, no, you sound a little bit like Hitler, yeah.
(audience laughs)
And she was like,
and the people are really frightened about that.
You know, and I was like, so I spoiled their day?
And she was like, yeah, you did, you know.
And I was like, well,
that brings me a lot of (speaking German)
(audience laughs)
Who else do we have from? Yes.
Egypt.
Oh, very nice.
That's cool.
Cool and exotic.
Yes.
How are things going over there?
(audience laughs)
Just blink if it's good.
(audience laughs)
And blink twice if it's bad.
I won't say your name.
I won't put you on camera.
You can go back.
Your president doesn't have to know you were here.
Things are good in Egypt.
(audience laughs)
When you, when you watch Donald Trump,
does he remind you a little bit of Egyptian leaders?
Yeah, a lot?
Yeah, it's just like, just without the Arabic.
Just like, say again?
They're also what?
Oh they are friends, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, he is.
I can see that.
Like, I feel like Trump would be exactly the same
even if he spoke Arabic, it would be like the same thing.
He'd be like (speaking Arabic).
(audience laughs)
(speaking Arabic)
(upbeat music)