-Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to
"The Tonight Show," everybody.
You're here. [ Cheers and applause ]
I went to -- I saw Harry Styles last night.
[ Cheers and applause ]
We were all there together.
We all went together as a group.
I was just thinking -- So, I go, and it was unbelievable.
I got great seats and everything like that.
It was very nice of Harry and all that stuff.
So, I went.
And it's just hard to look cool when you're --
When you're kind of -- When you're my age
at a Harry Styles concert.
And you're in the front row,
and people are looking at you and stuff like that.
So, like -- So, he's playing and he's awesome.
It was a great show, by the way. Go see it. And he's good.
And so, I go, "Alright, I can get into this."
So, I'm like that, you know?
I'm like... ♪♪
And then I'm like, "Oh, this is really lame."
I go, "This is worse than I normally dance."
So I go, "I'm not going to really --"
So, then I started going like this for a while.
And then I was like, "That's even weirder.
I don't know what's happening."
Then I go, maybe clapping was good.
So, I'm like -- So, give me... ♪♪
Then I'm like, "This is too much clapping."
I was clapping too fast. I was like...
Like double-clapping. Alright, no clap.
Then I go with this. -Oh!
-That's just creepy. -Not with that.
-You can't do that.
And then, at that point, I go, "I'm already a meme."
-Right. Might as well enjoy it.
-I'm just going to have fun. And I was like, "Yeah!"
♪ Late night ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
I'm in a good mood.
We got blood orange here, tonight.
-Oh! [ Cheers and applause ]
-That's right. They opened up. They were fantastic.
Also, guys, today is the --
officially the first day of fall.
Come on! -Oh!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
Come on, fall. -That's why I'm in a good mood.
Everyone is talking about this.
Last night, former president Trump
was interviewed by Sean Hannity on Fox News.
And when Hannity brought up Trump's claim
that he declassified the documents found at Mar-a-Lago,
Trump gave a very interesting explanation.
Take a look at this.
-Is there a process?
What was your process to declassify?
-There doesn't have to be a process, as I understand it.
You know, there's different -- People say different things.
But, as I understand, there doesn't have to be --
If you're the President of the United States,
you can declassify just by saying, "It's declassified,"
even by thinking about it.
-Hannity was like, "Oh, I get it.
You're going to plead insanity.
Okay, now it's making sense."
Meanwhile, Ron DeSantis was watching at home going,
"Well, I guess we've got to start
printing those campaign posters.
Here we go."
I felt like he was this close to using the word "abracadabra."
Did you -- When Trump was talking.
Trump also suggested a pretty interesting theory
on why the FBI searched his house in the first place.
Listen to this.
-Because of what they did, the severity of the FBI
coming and raiding Mar-a-Lago, were they looking for the
Hillary Clinton e-mails that were deleted?
But they are around someplace.
Were they looking for the -- -Wait, wait.
You're not saying you had it. -No, no.
They may be saying --
They may have thought that it was in there.
-At that point, even QAnon people were like,
"Okay, that conspiracy seems a little nuts.
That's a little much for us."
You've got to give Trump credit, though.
He knows how to say something so crazy
that it actually makes the last crazy thing he said
seem normal.
You know, right? You know what I'm saying?
Trump had a lot to say about the search of Mar-a-Lago,
including something the FBI took from him.
Watch this.
-They took a lot. I think they took my will.
I found out yesterday. I said, "Where is it?"
-Am I in it? -I think they took my will.
That could cause a lot of problems.
-I know.
-The FBI was like, "Oh, you mean the piece of paper
with the Sharpie treasure map?
Yeah, we did --"
A minute later, Melania handed it back
and was like, "Sorry, I was just checking something.
"We're all good."
Switching gears, tonight on Amazon,
there was another Thursday night football game.
And, apparently, Amazon -- Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
Apparently, Amazon has a policy not to show ads for alcohol,
which means there are no beer commercials
during their football games.
Yeah. I don't know why Amazon does that,
because drunk people ordering stuff
on Amazon is 90% of their business.
Speaking of football,
there's so many games to keep up with this weekend,
so I wanted to take a moment to look at
this week's big matches and take some picks.
It's time for "Tonight Show Weekend Football Lock Box."
-♪ "Tonight Show Weekend Football Lock Box" ♪
♪ "Tonight Show Weekend Football Lock Box" ♪
-You're in the Lock Box. Let's kick it off.
First up, Jaguars versus Chargers.
I bought six iPhone chargers this year
and zero jaguars.
Why? Because Chargers get lost and Jags get locked.
Bills versus Dolphins. Who likes bills?
Always coming in the mail, being all like, "Where's my money?"
For the last time, I don't know.
Call it canned tuna, because this one's all Dolphins.
Lock it.
Eagles versus Commanders.
Both proud, both symbols of America, both bald.
But commanders can't lay eggs, so advantage Eagles.
From the City of Brotherly Lock.
♪ B-B-B-Bengals and the Jets ♪
Elton John may be known to rock, but Cincinnati's
the one brewing up a big batch of chili and spaghetti
in a lock pot.
49ers versus Broncos.
It's the city by the bay against the horse that eats the hay.
49ers pan for gold, horses get locked in pens.
Easy Denver lock.
And, finally, Lions versus Vikings.
For ball spiking, lineman striking, fan sacking,
you just can't beat the Detroit Lions.
Motor City lock.
That's all for this week's Lock Box.
Happy watching.
I'll see you in the DraftKings subreddit.
-♪ "Tonight Show Weekend Football Lock Box" ♪
♪ "Tonight Show Weekend Football Lock Box" ♪
-Some entertainment news.
A new "Star Wars" show, "Andor," just came out on Disney+.
It's getting great reviews.
And I saw that the show introduces a new droid character
named B2EMO.
Can we take a look at B2EMO?
Honestly, he doesn't really look that emo.
Can we see some clips of him from the show?
-It's not a phase. It's who I am.
Security confiscated my wallet chain
at the My Chemical Romance show.
They're not cigarettes, Dad, they're cloves.
And I'm 18, so leave me alone.
Has anyone seen my
"Nightmare Before Christmas" beanie?
Just pick me up at the mall at 10:00
and please don't embarrass me.
This whole star system is bull[bleep]
-Oh, my God. That was interesting.
Now I get it. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow! -I get it.
Some more entertainment news.
Tomorrow, "Avatar" will be re-released in theaters
all across the country.
The movie originally came out in 2009.
That was a long time ago.
Higgins, do you remember where you were when you --
back in 2009, when you first saw "Avatar"?
-Oh, yeah, of course.
I was dancing to "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas...
-Uh-huh.
-...when my friend, the Octomom,
texted me the "Avatar" trailer on my BlackBerry Storm.
And as a thank-you, I poked her on Facebook.
-Oh. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Yo, I still remember where I was
when I found out about "Avatar."
I was hanging out with my BFFs, Taylor Lautner and Susan Boyle.
And we were ghost-riding the whip
when Susan starts telling me how good "Avatar" is.
So, I told her, "Susan Boyle, I'mma let you finish,
but 'Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2'
is the best movie of the year."
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You want to know where I was
when I first heard about "Avatar"?
I was doing a flash mob with Snooki, JWoww,
and The Situation's cousin, The Circumstance.
And when we realized we all forgot to water
our FarmVille crops, so we drove to my place
in my Nissan Cube while blasting
the "Glee" soundtrack, because we're big Gleeks.
And I heard an ad for "Avatar" on the radio
while Snooki was asking me if I was Team Edward or Team Jacob.
-Man, 2009 was a different time.
-2009? Mine was from this morning.
-Hey, guys, I read that battery-powered planes
are gaining traction among major airlines.
They're set to be in the air by 2028.
Yeah, battery-powered planes.
Actually, they've been around for a while.
In fact, Spirit's entire fleet runs on four AAA batteries.
It's true.
I heard about a woman in Washington
who allegedly stole a car and didn't have
a great getaway plan.
Check this out.
-If you plan to steal a car,
don't drive into freshly poured concrete.
Lakewood police say the person who tried to
make it out with this Mini Cooper did just that.
They got out and tried to run but were arrested anyway.
Police say the driver was
holding a bottle of whiskey at the time.
-Yeah, you didn't need to tell us that last part.
We assumed. Guys, get this.
Under a new law in California,
employers will soon be banned from screening
employees for marijuana.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah. That's right.
Employers will no longer be able to drug-test people.
But if you ask me, they're still trying to find ways around it.
Here are some of the questions that they're asking
on the job application.
First up, it says...
You know what I'm saying?
Next up, it says...
-Okay.
-So I'm thinking... After that, it says...
Next, it asks...
-Whoa!
-And, finally, it asks...
-Whoa!
-Just interesting. I'm just saying, they're tough.
Guys, did you see this?
Residents of Salt Lake City have reported
hearing strange music coming from the sewers.
Yeah, strange music, as opposed to
the totally normal music usually heard coming from the sewers.
Finally, a wedding reception in New Jersey
had to be relocated after the floor caved in
while people were dancing.
People showed up at the E.R. like, "Hi.
I'm here for the Freedman wedding."
Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's the first wedding with
an open bar and an open floor.
We have a great show.