-"Look at me!
I have one normal arm and on arm made out of a damn pickle!
Can you believe such a sight?!
♪♪♪♪
-And now, here with a report on how to stretch
your Halloween dollar is
"Weekend Update" correspondent Adam Sandler. Adam?
-Oh, thank you.
Halloween is coming, and it's always loads of fun
but we have to remember we're living in a recession,
and money is tight, so don't go bugging your parents
for these new, overpriced costumes.
They're such a rip-off.
If you want an original, scary Halloween costume,
use your imagination.
What's wrong with just using your face?
You can go as squishy man.
"Hey, I'm squishy man, and I want some candy.
Give some candy to squishy man!"
Or maybe you can go as G-force man.
"Hey, I'm G-force man, and thi spaceship's going way too fast
Now give me some candy. Come on! Give it here!"
You know what? You can just us your own t-shirt.
Go as crazy one-arm man.
"Hey, look at me!
I only got one arm, and I'm crazy!
Now give me some candy, or I'l grab you with my crazy one arm!"
Or how about going as crazy hand coming out of the neck guy
"Hey, I'm crazy hand coming ou of the neck guy.
Now, give me some candy.
Don't you think I deserve some for being this crazy?"
Or how about going as crazy no-armed woman?
[ High-pitched voice ] "I want some candy!
Candy! Candy! Candy!
Everybody knows that crazy woman with no arms just loves candy.
Now give it to me, or I'll rip your ear off! Arr! Arr!"
[ Normal voice ] You can use something that's in your house, even.
How about a spoon?
"I'm crazy spoon head, and I want some candy.
I don't have a normal head
I've got a damn spoon growing out of it!
Now give me some crazy candy damn it!
Awoo! The spoon makes me crazy!"
Or just use a plant from somebody's yard.
"Hey, I'm crazy plant head
How about some candy?
Come on. I'm crazy, and I go a plant coming out of my head.
Don't leave crazy plant head hanging.
He needs some candy, too."
Or crazy plant arm.
"Hey, look at this!
I got a plant coming out of my arm.
Isn't that bizarre?
I am crazy, I am deformed, and I am hungry.
Now give me some candy!"
[ Cheers and applause ]
-"I'm cup head.
Hey, I'm cup head. I want some candy.
Hey, give me some candy. I'm cup head."
You sound like that.
Adam Sandler, ladies and gentlemen.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Here again with his Halloween costume suggestion
is Adam Sandler. Adam?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, if you're not out trick or treating right now,
there's a good chance you didn't want to spend the money
on a fancy costume.
Well, you really don't have to and you still have time
to get loads of candy tonigh with my low-cost, custom ideas
You can just use your face
Go as smiley boy.
"Hey, I'm smiley boy.
Look at me. I got a big smile on my face
Now give me some candy.
Come on. I'm starving away here.
What do you want from me?
Hey, give me that candy."
Or you can go as about to sneeze man.
"Hey, I'm about to sneeze man, and I want some candy.
Look at me all squished up like I'm gonna sneeze.
Before I do, could you give me some candy
Ahh, ahh, ahh, candy!"
Or you can use a prop you have lying around the house.
A newspaper's great.
You can go as crazy newspaper face.
"I'm crazy newspaper face, and I want some candy!
Give some candy to crazy newspaper face.
My face ain't normal, it's a damn newspaper!
Come on. Extra, extra, read all about it!
I need some candy!"
Or you can go as crazy newspaper unicorn man
"I'm crazy newspaper unicorn man,
and I do believe I want some candy.
Come on! I'm almost extinct!
Give me the candy!
[ Neighs ]
A sneaker is great, too. You can use a sneaker.
I'm crazy sneaker hand.
Hello. Perhaps you've heard of me.
I have a sneaker for a hand, and I want some candy.
Now pour some candy over pronto.
Don't make me use the sneake I have for a hand in a bad way
Candy!"
Or go as crazy guy under the desk.
"I'm crazy guy under the desk.
Just 'cause you can't see me don't mean I don't want candy.
Just leave the candy on the desk.
I am warning you. Do not come down here.
Did I mention I was...crazy?
Or you can use something from your school supplies
like this protractor.
"I'm crazy protractor face
I don't believe we've had the honor.
My vision is impaired, but I can still see you've got candy
I want that candy."
Or go as crazy protractor bear
"I'm crazy protractor beard.
Look -- I got a beard made out of a damn protractor.
Isn't that bizarre?
Now, I believe you're gonn give me some candy.
I've got all night.
I'm just a guy who's got a protractor for a beard.
I got nowhere to go,
so you might as well cough u that candy."
Happy Halloween, everybody
[ Cheers and applause ]
-And now, here with some mor Halloween costume ideas
is "Weekend Update's" Adam Sandler. Adam?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you. Thanks. Thank you, Kevin.
Well, every year, I like to offer some suggestions
to the kiddies out there trick or treating,
how they can spend their money and get
the best quality Halloween costume at a cheap cost.
So, kids, why don't you, this year, use your face.
You can go as crazy big-eyed man.
"Hey, look at me! I'm crazy big-eyed man!
I want some candy!
Give some candy to crazy big-eyed man.
My eyes are too damn big for my head.
Now give me the candy!"
Or go as shaky lip guy.
"I'm shaky lip guy.
Look at my lip. It won't stop shaking.
Isn't that awful?
So, do me a favor and give me some candy."
Or use something from around the house.
A tea bag is great.
"I'm crazy tea-bag mouth, an I do believe I want some candy
Look at my mouth!
There's a damn tea bag growing out of it!
I don't know about you, but to me, that's crazy!
So, how about just give me some candy
or at least a glass of hot water to dip it into.
Candy!"
Or use a pickle. Go as crazy pickle mustache.
"I'm crazy pickle mustache
I was given this name becaus I have a pickle for a mustache
Most people have hair for a mustache, but not me
I have a damn pickle.
The result is quite obvious. I'm a freak.
Now give me some candy! Fork it over!"
Or you can go as crazy pickle arm.
[ Laughter ]
"I'm crazy pickle arm!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Look at me!
I have one normal arm, and one arm made out of a damn pickle!
Can you believe such a sight
Isn't it sad how cruel life can be?
Oh, I'll never be happy unless you give me some candy.
Go on! Put it in the good hand
[ Laughter ]
I just bit my hand off!
Now give me some candy!"
Or...go as crazy backwards guy
"I'm crazy backwards guy!
I'm not facing you, I'm facing the other way.
Isn't that...crazy?
Now go ahead and leave the candy on the table.
Did I mention I have a pickle for a mustache?"
Finally, you can go and us a tether ball.
That's always my favorite.
"I'm crazy tether ball head.
I got a damn tether ball growing out of my head,
and I want some candy.
For the love of God, I got a damn tether ball
growing out of my head.
Now, if that doesn't warrant some candy
what the hell has society gone to?
Give me the candy, or you might accidentally
get hit with a tether ball
[ Moaning ]
Crazy candy!
-[ Chuckles ] Hey, Adam, I got one.
"I'm crazy cigar chin!
I got a cigar growing out of my chin.
Now give me some candy!"
-Kevin Nealon, you've taught me again.
Happy Halloween, everybody
[ Cheers and applause ]