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12 Signs you were never in love
When you’re in a relationship with someone, a lot of things can give you that euphoric
feeling you can easily mistake for love.
Often it is only after the relationship is over that you realize that you didn’t actually
love your partner.
The difference is sometimes hard to see, so check out these 12 signs that you were never
in love.
No1: You expected your partner to be flawless We all spend a lot of time daydreaming about
our ideal partners.
The way we’d like them to look, how we would like them to treat us…
But, the reality can turn out to be very different.
If you are in love, you can accept that, as long as you are happy.
But, if you have always expected your partner to be the flawless copy of your imaginary
soulmate, you were never truly in love.
You were perhaps in love with what you imagined your partner was, but not in who they really
were.
No2: You were never completely comfortable around them
In long-term relationships, based on trust, acceptance and love, with time you become
really relaxed with one another.
You are comfortable showing your true self and not afraid your partner will reject you.
On the other hand, if you were never truly at ease around your partner, you were never
truly in love.
If you always had to fake something, it is hard to imagine true feelings could have developed
between you two.
No3: You want them to feel guilty and bad If you sincerely love someone, you would never
want them to suffer, even if you have just broken up.
But, when things go wrong in relationships that were not based on love, but rather on
desire or something else, you will probably want the other person to feel guilty and bad
about ending the relationship.
You may even go out of your way to hurt them and make them suffer, because you have no
genuine feelings and concern about them.
No4: You were not growing together People truly invested in a relationship, grow
and change together.
It is the inevitable truth of serious relationships.
Long-term relationships that are based on deep feelings last for some longer time; you
and your partner share your experiences and that leads to personal growth.
If you don’t recognize yourself and your partner in this description, you probably
were not in love after all.
In a short-term relationship, based on lust you are not that invested, you keep the most
important things to yourself, and naturally, there is no mutual personal growth.
No5: You didn’t bother to hang out with their friends and family
Relationships are all about real, everyday experiences and part of that is the relationship
you two have with each other’s family and friends.
If you truly care about your partner, you will make effort to connect with those who
are important to them.
But, if you never bothered with that, you probably never cared for your partner that
much.
When there is no love, you will certainly not waste your time with people you hardly
know.
You don’t care what they think about you because you are not all that invested in the
relationship.
No6: You weren’t interested in what they were doing
If you love someone, you will show interest in what they are doing or in general what
they like doing, even though you don’t share that particular interest with them.
It is simple; when you are in love, you want to be present in that person’s life.
You want to learn everything about them and you have a genuine desire to share experiences.
But, if you simply don’t care what they are up to or what they like to do for fun,
you cannot say you are mad about them.
If you catch yourself daydreaming or checking your phone while they are talking about what
they did today, think about finding another partner.
No7: Your relationship was an on-again, off-again If you and your partner can't stop breaking
up and getting back together, you may think that you keep coming back together for a reason,
that it is love that always has you going back to your partner.
But, it turns out you would be wrong.
Being on-and-off repeatedly with a partner may indicate there are issues in the relationship
that are irresolvable.
Also, there is probably no healthy love between you two, or you would find a way to make it
work.
No8: You never felt like you were good enough When you're with someone, you should feel
appreciated and cherished.
You should know they find you amazing and truly want to be with you.
If you feel like you have to change who you are or you're afraid that you are never good
enough, chances are there is no true love between the two of you.
You can hardly have true, deep and healthy feelings for someone who doesn’t think much
of you.
No9: You were not intellectually compatible Chemistry is great but if you and your partner
are not intellectually compatible, you cannot say there is real love between you.
Intellectual compatibility simply means that
you both have the capacity to enjoy deep conversations
that are mutually interesting for the two of you.
You need to challenge each other intellectually.
If there is true love between you and your partner, you will be able to communicate with
them in an exciting and stimulating way.
No10: You don’t think about them much Do you mostly think about yourself and your
needs?
Do you rarely think about the person that you think you loved?
That is a good sign you have never actually loved them.
When you are in love, you will most likely think about your partner throughout the day.
Of course you will not think about them all the time, but it will cross your mind where
they are or what are they doing.
No matter how busy you are, you will check in on them.
If you haven’t done this in a long time, you probably weren’t in love.
No11: You dated for a short time Relationships that last just for a short period
are definitely not based on love, because connecting with someone requires time and
effort.
Just because you developed feelings for someone, doesn’t actually mean you two love each
other.
You maybe have a crush or you two are physically attracted to one another.
If feelings come on quickly without a lot of involvement and commitment, there’s a
chance that they’ll go away just as fast.
No12: In the end, ending it was not that hard It doesn’t really matter why you left your
partner.
Maybe it was over something they did that hurt you.
Or maybe you became attracted to someone else.
But, if the decision was pretty easy for you, you weren’t really in love.
Maybe you just wanted to be with someone because you were bored or lonely.
Or you were only attracted to them.
Whatever the reason is, if you can leave without a lot of hard feelings, you certainly weren’t
in love.
Have you recognized any other sign that showed you were not really in love?
Let us know in the comment section.
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