hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about 10 tricks to stop being
awkward now let's begin number one the funny side awkward moments don't have to be embarrassing a
social misfire may feel like the end of the world like the worst thing that's ever happened to you
but it's not it only feels awkward because you treat each awkward moment like a personal failure
you put so much pressure on yourself to succeed socially so you feel devastated whenever you fail
hey if you want to stop being awkward take a lighter approach an awkward moment is
not a monumental failure it's not humiliating or pathetic it's a small mistake that everyone makes
so instead of criticizing yourself try to laugh at yourself treat each awkward moment like a funny
story that you'll tell later in life these moments are nothing but learning experiences you have
to mess up before you get better so change your attitude toward awkwardness take each embarrassing
moment with a grain of salt it may feel like a disaster but it's just a mistake number two
break the tension how do you connect with people without getting awkward what can you do to break
the tension in the air compliments are underrated if you want to make a real connection with someone
be genuine and positive complement their personality their appearance or their
behavior the key here is specificity that means the more specific you are the more meaningful that
your compliment will be alright let's say you see a stranger help someone in need you could
bond with this stranger by saying hey i thought it was really kind how you helped that person
a compliment does two things first it wins them over people like to hear praise and affirmation so
a compliment gets you in their good graces second a compliment builds a positive bridge between you
it creates a faster connection why well because you're boosting the other person's confidence
you're helping them feel comfortable around you when they feel comfortable the tension breaks
and those awkward moments just melt away number three busy your brain what do you do at parties
and social events do you stand around wishing you could go home do you spend the whole night racking
your brain if you feel lost in social settings well here's a trick you can use to stop being
awkward instead of wandering around a social event be the host the host of any event has a lot to do
planning activities refilling snacks and drinks keeping tabs on guests hosting is a busy job
but that may be exactly what you need you're the most awkward when you don't know what
you're supposed to do right you stand around waiting for something to happen you overthink
and over analyze and that makes you 10 times more awkward so if you give yourself something to do
your thoughts will be occupied your brain will be busy hosting social interactions will be the least
of your worries and you'll approach strangers with confidence because you're too busy to care
now as intimidating as it sounds host a party or event of your own take an active role in
your social life if you keep your mind occupied you'll socialize with purpose and confidence
number four a strange conversation do you struggle to start conversations the beginning
of a conversation is the hardest part it feels impossible to pull topics out of thin air but
what if you don't have to this trick gives you an all-purpose conversation starter so the next time
you go to a social event make a statement with your appearance wear something crazy and unique
don't be afraid to look weird or bizarre because those statement pieces make the
best conversation starters if you're wearing something strange people will ask you about it
a strange item gives strangers an easy avenue to engage with you
they'll ask you where you got it or what it means but no matter what they say you've passed
the first roadblock you've started talking and when you've made it that far you're home free
number five quiet confidence what do you do when you're feeling insecure many people overcompensate
they try to be confident but instead they're arrogant and self-obsessed they brag and boost
their own ego thinking other people will respect their confidence but this kind of confidence
drives people away pride and self-respect are important but they can push people away that's why
the best kind of confidence is quiet confidence someone with quiet confidence values their
ideas and opinions but they keep those ideas to themselves most people aren't interested in what
you have to say even if it is interesting but if someone takes an interest don't be afraid to speak
up tell your stories and share your experiences speak confidently about your goals and interests
if you want to stop being awkward stay confident on the inside but reserved on the outside
number six honest feedback are you an awkward person many people don't know if this sounds
like you ask for a second opinion consult a friend who sees you on a regular basis and ask for their
opinion emphasize that you want their honest unabridged feedback you're trying to improve
so sugar coating won't do you any favors you may not like what you hear but don't get defensive
if you want to stop being awkward you need thick skin otherwise you'll never change
if you think you're perfect i've got news for you you're not you may have blind spots
that you didn't know existed you may create awkward moments by accident a second opinion
may reveal your blind spots and help you change for the better but you have to keep an open mind
number seven people watching reading people isn't easy it's a complicated process that
requires patience practice and a sharp eye but what's the best way to practice
sit down in a public space and watch the people in your environment look closely watch their
body language try to figure out what's going on in their lives if you're at a restaurant watch
how two people eat together are they friends or a couple are they having a good time how
can you tell now look at someone walking down the streets what mood are they in do they look happy
sad angry people watching is a simple activity that you can do almost anywhere with enough
practice you'll understand complex cues body language and social signs
you'll get a better read on the people around you that way you can socialize smoothly and naturally
number eight external recognition we want other people to like us we want them to recognize and
appreciate our individual strengths so we try to show them how great we can be
we sell them our personalities hoping they'll like what they see but this mindset makes you even more
awkward you're trying to satisfy the expectations of others expectations that don't actually exist
alright let's say you have a good sense of humor you want people to like you
so you make jokes constantly you want to prove to everyone in the room that you're a funny person
but no one expects you to be funny no one needs you to entertain them
so if you want to stop being awkward just change your focus stop advertising your personality
instead be happy be comfortable be a positive influence on the lives of others
you could listen more and talk less you could give people your undivided attention you could
ask open-ended questions and give positive reinforcement at the end of the day it doesn't
matter what specific techniques you use if people smile around you you have nothing to worry about
number nine the social buffer small talk is widely disliked to many people it seems pointless it's
treated like a waste of time why well because you rarely make deeper connections with other people
but small talk is not useless it plays a critical role in your social success small talk is a buffer
it gives you the chance to gauge another person's interest and investments you ask basic questions
to see if you have things in common now small talk is like standing in the shallow end of a pool
you could dive right into the deep end but the water may be freezing cold instead you slowly wade
in the shallow end if the water is cold you can stop but if the water is warm you can dive deeper
strangers test the waters with small talk if they get along they gradually open up to each other
if not they can go their separate ways small talk in other words lowers the risk of getting hurt
so change your attitude towards small talk people rely on small talk to protect themselves it
may not be your favorite thing in the world but small talk can help you in the long run
number 10 the mountain of change should you be the life of the party normally you keep to yourself
you hide on the sidelines yet you expect yourself to flourish in the spotlight
to become the center of attention why do you hold yourself to such a high standard let's say i told
you to climb to the top of mount everest would you no you wouldn't even try because my expectations
are unreasonably high but what if i asked you to walk to your kitchen would you maybe because my
expectations are realistic they're doable i'm not expecting something impossible or out of character
socializing works the same way to stop being awkward make small manageable changes don't
try to climb a mountain set realistic goals and you just might follow through hey thanks
for watching top think and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way