Horrible. My God, what happened here?!
DISTORTED VOICE: Joel, I haven't seen you sprint since 2012.
EA have not let this slide.
That's not nice to hear.
I'm not expecting a rise, but I mean, I didn't know what I did was detrimental to it.
Last season - not enough hairstyles.
Physical appearance - down.
It seems that they're reducing your stats even lower.
Do you have any evidence to back this up, Joe?
Do you have any evidence to decrease it?
No, but we are in control here.
Physical could be better. I said this to your teammate Joe Gomez before...
Uh-huh?
Maybe it is because you do not have enough new haircuts this season.
I still have to fight against some big guys, and I think normally I'm quite good with it.
I would hope so, at 8ft 10.
A lack of trims you have had over recent times,
and fades, and trimming of the beard, has left you looking ragged at times.
Didn't have time for a haircut.
I'm here next door to Joel Matip, Joey G and Bobby Firmino,
who are all waiting to hear their new FIFA 22 ratings.
They have no idea it's me, so let's see how they react.
This...is The Ratings Collective.
It's FIFA ratings time,
and your new FIFA 2022 stats are due to be released very soon.
How are you feeling about this?
We'll see, I don't know yet, depends on this card, doesn't it?
Are you aware what you've been brought here to do?
Yeah, I think I know it.
Hello, Bobby.
Hello.
I have your FIFA stats in front of me.
And I believe you have yours in a suitcase in front of you.
Open the suitcase.
Not pretty, right?
You don't look happy, Roberto.
I need to laugh, because...horrible.
My God, what happened here?!
Could be much better but could be worse. I'm not really happy with this.
Shall we get right to it? Joel, I haven't seen you sprint since 2012.
You could be right, but I'm still quick!
30 shooting? That's not keeping it on the pitch.
The rating - 87.
This year - 85.
Everything goes down, huh?
There is something that the Kop wants you to know.
The best in the world is Roberto Firmino.
Si senor...
give the ball to Bobby and he will score.
Is this true? If I give you a ball, will you score?
Yes.
The thing that strikes me most, Joe, is the pace stat.
Last year your pace was 82.
So what evidence is this based on?
You can say there's a slight element of disrespect on your name there, Joe.
Bit more than slight.
This one, I believe will hurt.
Passing - 68.
If you try to play a little bit more offensive then not every ball gets to where it should be.
Maybe the fact that you play with Roberto Firmino
allows you to be more sloppy with your passing.
And EA have not let this slide.
Passes... Come down as well.
81 last year.
Could be better. I try to improve every day and get better.
This, I don't agree with.
For me, the shooting should be better.
EA are not your friends at the minute.
Physical. Thoughts, Joe?
I'm not the size of Virgil or Joel.
I don't understand on what basis this has declined, but...
The main thing I believe is based off not physicality, but physical appearance.
The lack of trims you have had over recent times, and fades, trimming of the beard.
It's left you looking ragged at times.
What would your response be?
Maybe that's because I've been in the trenches, AKA the gym.
Working on that physicality and that pace.
Didn't have time for a haircut.
The trenches is a good...excuse.
Your laughter made that a bit difficult to hear, I'm sorry?
However, you are longer in those trenches, so the fact you come here today
and appear in front of me without a fade is not acceptable.
Dribbling, Joel....68.
I'm a defensive player, but for dribbling you maybe have to ask my teammates.
It's not that bad.
There have been reports that you are one of the better dribblers at the back of the park.
Overall, Bobby, I am disappointed for you that your card has gone down.
However, it could be worse, just ask Joe.
Yeah, I'm very disappointed as well.
You are the happiest disappointed man I have ever seen.
These stats are changeable.
As you may know, the updates do come throughout the game
and you can improve these stats through the season.
So that attitude, less of that.
You are here to reflect and to move forward.
You mentioned the trenches, I suggest you go back to them and you start working.
What would you say to that?
You're a funny guy.
Ready to go...
LAUGHTER
Oh, my God.
When I started talking about the trim I saw it in the eyes!
"Nah, who's this guy?"
You could never, ever tell it was you. That is very good.
Alright, it's my turn.
This is why I felt I could unleash on you all, because of this.
What were you last year?
79!
- I've plateaued. - At least you've not gone down through.
Physicality, COVID, no trims for me either.
That's true, no haircuts.
So when you start comparing, that's when it goes...
It gets dangerous. It gets political.