Good evening!
I am here today to share with you a story, my story.
I remember when I was 8, I asked myself this existential question:
Why do we live, why do we die?
Back in 2007, I was 29 and I worked as a sport physiotherapist in Toulouse:
I had the job, I always dreamt of.
In a way, through this job, I kept up with my sports career.
I only worked with top-level athletes and I'd always practiced sports myself.
There were only a few positions like it in France, and I had it!
I should have felt fullfilled.
And yet, surprisingly, I was bored!
The same year, in october, a psysio- therapist from La Rochelle called me
and asked me to replace him on a sailing event in Madeira, off the coast of Portugal
I had to take care of 84 skippers who were about to cross the Atlantic, in a 2-part solo race:
La Rochelle - Madeira, Madeira - Salvador da Bahia in Brasil.
Impressive!
So I went to Madeira, I met each of these skippers for a session of physiotherapy,
During which they shared with me their stories at sea, their emotions, sensations and even their fears.
I got carried away and I discovered a whole new world which I didn't suspect until then.
Then later I witnessed their departure on a Zodiac boat.
Picture yourself 84 boats, all on the same line, preparing to leave towards the horizon.
Off they go and I watched them leave.
Some kind of jealousy and curiosity about this horizon they were about to discover.
And then, as they disappeared, I started feeling oppressed.
I came back to the pontoon and without knowing why, I told to myself:
next time it will be me!
I came back to Toulouse, back to my normal life, well, I tried... I found it hard.
My head feel like a pressure cooker.
I tried to share this sudden call of the sea with my closest friends
but they couldn't understand what I felt and even I had difficulties to get it.
I even had a friend who told me: - Don't worry Stef,
we're going to go for a walk in the Bouconne forest, and in 2 weeks, everything will be back to normal!
Of course, I couldn't believe it!
So I decided not to mention it anymore and to keep it as my little secret.
I let everyone believe that everything is back to normal.
yet, secretly, I started searching how to learn to sail a boat.
In december, I went to Paris' boat-show to attend the "Nautic Skipper Award" event.
There, I saw all the skippers that I had taken care of. They told me their stories
of this crossing to Brasil they had just experimented... I was, still so amazed!
I also brought back with me the magazine "Express Nautisme".
Back in Toulouse, one day, I opened the magazine and I read:
A transatlantic race for everyone
It was meant for me! 45 boats registered for a race from La Rochelle to Quebec.
And some of them were still looking for crew members,
meaning I could apply.
I hesitated a few weeks, then I decided to give it a try. I called the organisation and asked:
- Hello Sir, is it necessary to know how to sail a boat to be on this race?
He answered: - Well, young lady, it's all about crossing the Atlantic,
you'll need to have some knowledge, indeed!
I hung up...
Even if I wasn't surprised by his answer, I thought, what do I have to lose?
So I applied, and a few weeks later, I got contacted by a skipper.
And there I was, heading for the Crouesti, we are 3 for 2 positions...
A true selection !
A whole week-end, we got tested by the skipper on the boat
for our technical, ouch, and human competences, phew!
So here we were, sailing the whole week-end
And then I went back to Toulouse.
I admit I didn't have much pressure on the boat because:
1) I didn't know how to sail and 2) I didn't understand a word of the skipper's lingo.
Really, it was a different world, a different langage for me at that time!
So, I came home a bit sceptical
Few days later, the skipper called and told me that he had picked me!
Me! Can you believe it!?
That's when I started practicing, particulary the first one, which I'll never forget,
this first night where the boat leant and I didn't know why,
it was cold, it was february, I tried to sleep and I didn't understand what was happening to me;
I could hear the fluide slapping the hull,
the cracking noise, I even wondered how the boat can resist!
Finally, 7 months after my call to sea, in may 2008, I was the one who set sail!
Everything went very fast, I experienced this transatlantic race, quit my job in Toulouse,
and moved to La Rochelle in 2009.
There, I started to learn sailing within the range of 3 buoys during regattas,
but quickly I wanted to reach the open sea.
So I started conveying boats from Bahia to Ushuaia, Pointe-à-Pitre to the Azores.
Not bad, is it?
But I still wanted more!
I wanted an ocean race.
I started looking at my options.
I soon realised that I could never be recruited as a crew member, I was too new to sailing.
The only way was to have my own project and to rent my own boat.
And my dream was to participate in the Transat Jacques Vabre, nothing less...
From Le Havre to Costa Rica, a perfect race for a learner that I was as it is a double-handed race
But again, I started to doubt: I had to find at least €100,000
I couldn't sail, I had no financial partners,
I also had to face a family contradiction with my mother who thought I'd become crazy,
and my father who lived through me the life he always dreamt of
And yet, I knew, it was what I had to do.
So I went to banks, and borrowed €50,000
and I made the bet I could find the rest
through my friends, family, personal network, small companies and maybe even sponsors.
€50,000! It's a big deal!
So I bet in my whole life,
cut my budget, started living in a 2-room flat with a roommate,
no more going out, I spent the all week working at my practice,
at night, I blogged to communicate on my project and find support
and, on week-ends, I sailed!
I finally had my boat, and I could practice,
first with friends, and soon I had to find my co-skipper as the race was double-handed,
we needed to practice and to prepare.
I met an experienced skipper,
we put our energies together, made sacrifices together,
we prepared the boat, ran the qualifications and won our ticket to the race!
At the same time, we had an extreme relationship,
so extreme it got complicated and we had to stop our partnership.
Hard decision, just 2 months before the start of Jacques Vabre race
And doubts took over again.
Yet, this was not my first race, and giving up was not an option.
Simulteanously, I found 2 sponsors
and the owner of my ship, a seasoned skipper, offered me to be my partner
A chance! A second chance! Here we go again!
Finally, I'm on the starting line of Transat Jacques Vabre race in 2011.
The race started on,
the weather conditions were extreme,
we faced a series of 4 depressions and almost half the fleet gave up the first week.
On board, the communication with my coskipper was difficult...
My lack of experience complicated things with this skipper with 2 "Route du Rhum" to his credit.
We didn't understand each other, we had coordination difficulties on manœuvres,
my dream had turned to a nightmare,
I even had the impression it had been stolen from me!
I was tired, full of doubt, I felt lonely, isolated, trapped,
for the first time, I felt like I was victim of my own project,
I didn't master it anymore, it wasn't what I wanted anymore and I tried to find a way out.
At the same time, I had to communicate with all the people who helped me on shore,
so I told them that everything was perfect,
Then on board, I decided to call a friend with the satellite phone.
she helped me gain some perspective, from the boat and the situation.
She reminded me of who I am, why I am here and why I did all of this in the first place.
After that, I have put back all my energy in the project and, with the help of my coskipper,
we brought the boat to Costa Rica, finishing 7th out of the 16 boats involved.
It was an extraordinary victory, considering the sacrifices I had made the past year and a half.
I came back to La Rochelle, recovered from my emotions and went back to my normal life.
so many sacrifices, investments, difficult relationships, and yet
I felt the call for the sea again...
I'm not crazy, I must be a masochist!
The winner of the Transat Jacques Vabre offered me to be his crew member for 2012.
What a great opportunity!
On the programme: a crewed race from Quebec to Saint-Malo,
and a double-handed race from Caen towards the Northern Seas.
The boat was in Charleston, in the United States before our departure for Quebec.
One day, we got a call from the shipyard in Charleston: a lightning strike had stroke our boat!
A strike! In the whole yard, only one boat had been stroke, and it was ours!
3 of us went there to estimate the damage, still hoping we could make it to the starting line...
There, we rapidly saw that the damages were so important, we had to give up.
But in sailing, you have to pull yourself together quickly,
so we repair everything we can to bring the boat back to La Rochelle
to then participate to the double- handed transat from Caen.
We left Charleston with ideal weather conditions
which made us forget all the efforts the repairs had taken from us:
long surfing under spinnaker, wind, our boat was fast, we had fun, we even got to fish!
I let you watch this video to enjoy the atmosphere!
Not bad, don't you think?
One evening, we decided to manoeuvre and reduce sails to be safer for the night
I was inside, getting dressed while the others were out on watch.
Suddenly, I was violently thrown on my back in the boat!
Everything went very fast in my head. I thought the boat was desintegrating.
As a phisiotherapist, I knew my spine had been injured, I made a quick physical,
I moved my toes, good, I feel them, I touched my legs, I can feel them too.
But then I wondered where the others were? Were they still on the boat?
And how was I supposed to join the rescue boat if necessary?
I couldn't move... I saw my skipper, what a relief! Everyone was on board.
They restored the balance of the boat, checked there was no leaking point and came back to me.
They helped me get into the bunk, and I asked them what just happened.
They answered: A whale!
The emotional shock was intense, I broke down, I even hated myself!
I was there, sailing on its territory. why was I doing this? I felt so selfish!
And there it was again, doubt! I was tired of it, I sometimes wondered if others doubt as I do
Toll: 4 broken vertebras and I couldn't be on the starting line in Caen.
I thought to myself: Stef, you need to stop, it's not possible anymore!
Everything is here to prove you are not made all of this. Even the ocean rejects you! It's crazy!
No... I am the crazy one!
Because in a month time, I'll be on the starting line of the Transact Jacques Vabre 2013!
Thank you!
I'll be on another boat, with a new skipper, with whom, I trained with the whole year,
Our results are good and we get along perfectly, as you can see on this picture!
I feel great with my life now, I love competition,
to play and to surpass myself with the other boats. I love the world in which I perform,
the moving sea, the changing horizons, the long surfing under spinnaker
the dolphins' ballet, and so on!
I'm happy to participate again to a transatlantic race. I am happy to be, to act, the thrill, to live!
I was 8 when I asked myself this existential question:
Why do we live, why do we die?
I am lucky because I was only 8 when I realized I didn't want my life to pass by.
Call of the sea has been enlightening my life,
I had no choice but to seize this opportunity
and what an opportunity!
No matter how old you are or what form this enlightening might take:
everyone has his own way to set sails!
What's important is to write your own notes, at your own pace,
and hope that one day, you'll be able to play this universal partition, with your instrument!
Thank you very much!