"Why am I single?" Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Maybe you've looked in the mirror at some point and thought "why am I single?
I'm a nice person. I just want to love someone and treat someone right. I have a
good job. I think I'm pretty attractive. So why am I single?" If you have ever
found yourself asking this then you are going to love what you are about to
learn. The truth is, it is about to change everything for you. I'm going to be
giving you the answer to the question "why am I single?" and helping you see why
it's actually not your fault at all. Before we get started though if this is your
first time watching be sure to subscribe and ring that notification bell.
My name is Melannie. I'm a Christian dating coach for men and my specialty is
helping good guys get the girl of your dreams. So be sure to subscribe, ring
that bell, and give me a big thumbs up. Now part of the reason I asked you if
you have ever wondered "why am I still single?" is because I have actually been
there too. Long before I became a coach I found myself in bad relationship after
bad relationship and those were the relationships I was able to like get. It
was kind of a feast or famine situation. No relationship for a long time, all of a
sudden a really bad relationship. And I couldn't figure out what I was doing
wrong. I couldn't figure out why this wasn't working. I tried my best to be a
nice person and to be a good person and I couldn't understand why I could try so
hard and God hadn't led me to my dream relationship yet. Now this led me
to one evening being on my knees in prayer just begging with God like "what
am I doing wrong? Like what's wrong? Why am I single? Why can I try so hard and it
not work?" Have you ever been in that situation? Have you ever had that
discussion with God as well? I was feeling pretty broken, pretty heartbroken,
and as I was praying I suddenly realized that I didn't have all of the answers.
You have probably heard the saying that the definition of insanity is doing
the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, right?
Ouch. I realized as I was praying that I was doing the same thing over and over
again and I was expecting a different result. But I didn't get a different
result, all I did was go from bad relationship to bad relationship when I
was able to find a relationship. Clearly something needed to change, am I right?
Now let's pause for just a second. Was it my fault that I didn't know what I was
doing? Well, no. Nobody had ever taught me. I did
not have any clue how to create a relationship and how to be who I needed
to be to attract what I wanted to attract. So the truth is, if you're asking
the question I once asked, "holy cow why am I still single, why isn't this working?"
then it's not your fault, you simply weren't taught. If you're like most
people, your first experience with feelings and relationships started when
you were in school. And if you were like most people you had no idea what to do.
You felt nervous and you felt a little bit embarrassed and you had
nobody to talk to or you just didn't want to talk to anybody about it,
so you just kind of tried to figure out how to get the girl to like you. Maybe
you watched your peers and tried to see what they did try and see if it worked.
Maybe you turn to your favorite TV shows and tried to see what they did try to
see if that worked. But you've probably never had anybody sit down with you and
say "Okay. This is how you get a girl to like you and this is how you do things
like that." Usually this starts pretty early on in school and it just continues
all the way through high school. And let's be real here, high school is
responsible for more bad relationships than probably anything else. High school
honestly just doesn't teach us any good relationship advice whatsoever. So in
addition to that so many of us we grew up in a broken home or in a home where
our parents just didn't teach us these things. Even if they were completely
well-meaning they just didn't teach us because they probably don't know
the answers either. So how in the world are you supposed to know these things?
There's no way for you to. It would be like somebody putting you in a car without
teaching you how to drive and saying "Okay, drive. Go. Let's do this." It's not
gonna work, right? So is this making sense why it's actually not your fault and
wouldn't you agree that it's really not fair to like make you feel like
it's your fault? If you agree with that be sure to comment "AMEN!" In the comments
below. So basically it's not your fault, but there is actually something you can
do about it. That sounds hopeful, that sounds exciting,
right? So let me continue with my story. As I was praying and I had that aha
moment, that light bulb moment of "whoa. I maybe need to learn a few
things and maybe need to acquire some skills." So that's what I started doing.
And God started leading me to learn one thing and then another thing and I
started adding to my dating tool belt and started taking on new skills. And it
was kind of crazy. I would learn one thing and I'd start to apply it and I
started to get some good results from that. Then I learned something new and
I'd start to apply that and I got some awesome results for that. And pretty soon
my life had completely flipped around and I had gone from a bad relationship
to bad relationship to an unlimited dating pool and being able to be a
magnet to the type of person I was looking for. That sounds way better than
attracting bad relationships, right? It's way better than wondering why I'm single.
I finally knew everything I needed to know to be able to get my dream
relationship. This is what happens when you finally learn how to do it the right
way. You take those skills and you become a
magnet for the type of relationship you are wanting. That is how you get results.
Isn't that exciting to finally know how that it's not your fault and that you
can in fact change it? I actually have a friend who had an experience very
similar to mine. He unfortunately grew up in a toxic home,
in a broken home. He had two very toxic parents and was kind of left to just
figure things out on his own. If anything, he was taught some really untrue things
about relationships. This meant that as he got older, started
dating, kind of the first girl who noticed him he started dating her and
they ended up getting engaged. He was never more miserable in his
entire life than when he was dating and engaged to this woman. Now thankfully
things didn't actually work out and she broke it off with him and he never felt
so relieved in his whole life. He felt like he had been given a second chance
at life and it caused him to kind of say "what am I doing?
Do I like how I feel right now? Do I like the direction my life is going in?" And
the answer was no. So he decided to learn what he needed to learn to become who he
needed to be to attract his dream relationship. Just like I learned. He
started doing that, started implementing it . And actually, guys, very very quickly
he had instead found his dream girl. And they are married and they now have three
adorable children and guys, they are serious relationship goals. They are one
of the happiest, happiest married couples I personally know and they are the best
of friends and crazy in love. This all happened by him saying "wait a second. It's
not my fault I wasn't taught these things, but I'm going to learn these
things because I deserve to know these things, right?" He deserved to have his
dream girl. So he learned the skills he needed and he was able to get that dream
girl and have an amazing, amazing life. So if you have been asking "why am i single?"
just know and take comfort in the fact that it's really not your fault.
You haven't been taught these things, society doesn't teach us these things, if
anything society teaches us a bunch of lies. So it's not your fault, don't be
hard on yourself and never let anybody treat you like it is your fault, because
the truth is it's just not. But there is something you can do about it. Because
yeah, it's not your fault and it has happened to you
unjustly but you don't have to stay there. As a matter of fact, it only becomes your
fault if you decide to stay there. So don't be the victim. Take your power back
and let yourself move past this and finally have that girl and that life you
are wanting. Now one of the biggest lies society teaches you as men is that women
want things that women actually don't want. This is especially true when we're
talking about Christian women. They want something very different from what the
rest of the world wants. This is why I actually put together a free guide for
you on the 17 Traits Christian Women Want Most in a Man. That means if you
have these traits then you have the traits she wants most. That sounds
exciting, right? It's totally free, just check out the link in the description
below, enter your name and email and I will send you this free guide ASAP. The
truth is, you just deserve to know these things and it will be such a relief to
you because like I said you've been taught a lot of lies and you deserve to
know the truth. So click on that link and I will send you this free guide. Thank
you so much for watching my amazing friend! I hope you found this really
comforting. If you did be sure to let me know in the comments below. And if you
think society just kind of needs to learn these things and be taught these
things be sure to type "AMEN!" in the comments below. Let's start a movement.
I think that sounds good, right? If this is your first time watching be sure to
subscribe and ring that notification bell. Also give me a big thumbs up. If we
are not yet friends on social media there are links to that in the
description below as well. Be sure to check that out and say hi. If you have a
friend who has been told it's his fault he's single, oh my goodness please share
this with him. He really deserves to know these things too. And I'd love it if
you'd shout it out on your favorite social media platform. Thank you so much
again my amazing friend and have an amazing day. [blooper beep]
[clears throat] Here we go. [pause] That's my little "here we go"
eyebrow dance. I used to be faster. Okay, here we go. [clears throat]
Focus. [deep breath] Super focused. Super in the zone.
Let's do this. [chuckle] Okay. [chuckle] Sometimes I get
too hyper. All right. Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's do this. You're thinking
"Yeah hurry up and get started." I'm trying.
High school is responsible for more bad
relationships than probably anything else. It's just not a good... uh... thing. [laughter]
[laughter] Oh no, I have a case of the giggles. Okay.
Yep. [laughter] I don't know why I'm so giggly all of a sudden. Okay. Focus.
Right now. [laughter] Okay.
[beat boxing a tune from mario]
Name that tune. [Continuing beat boxing] You're welcome. [chuckle]
It's Mario just in case you couldn't tell. [chuckle]
You've put me in front of a camera
and I started to have lots of fun. [laughter]
That was a freaky smile. [laughter] Okay I'm getting off now
before I embarrass myself completely. [laughter]