(intro jingle)
(dramatic music)
- Geronimo.
- It's not like the NSA to be late.
- There was an armed guard on the way in,
its nothing I couldn't handle.
- Do you have the drive?
- See that gentleman over there
next to the dame in red?
It's in his breast pocket.
I'll make the pull and pass it to you.
(dramatic spy music)
- Bro, are you reading this?
Who is this guy?
- His name is Watts.
Let me just see if he's gay.
- Awesome.
Thank you.
(keyboard clacking)
- Oh, yeah, he's super-gay.
- Good, good, good.
Now, how do I let him know that I'm queer too?
- Why don't you just say that?
- Ew, no.
"Hey, I'm also a total homo."
(stammers)
It's awkward.
- Why?
- Because then its like I'm gonna hit on him.
- But you are gonna hit on him?
- Yes, but I don't want him to know that.
No, I just have to hint at it.
- Hey, dude?
Please just spy, you know.
This hard drive can stop worldwide cyber attacks.
Just, focus up for a little bit.
- I will, I just...
Oh, those fucking haunches.
(growls)
- I don't know exactly what a haunch is.
- It's the part, - I can figure it out.
- And he says to me,
"A good suit ages like a fine wine,"
- And like wine, its only worthwhile when its expensive.
(laughter)
- You guys talking about bars?
I love that bar, Rawhide.
Yeah, Rawhide is pretty wild.
- Jesus Christ.
- You guys ever been to Rawhide?
Watts?
- I don't believe so.
- I think you'd like it.
I think you and I have a lot in common.
(clears throat)
- It's a fine evening for a party.
- You know, I'm a little bummed its tonight,
'cause Drag Race is on.
- I love Drag Race.
- Me too.
Watts?
- Uh, I've never seen it.
- Ah, I love it.
You know I used to do drag in college?
- Really?
- No, but, I always thought I could.
You know, I always thought I'd really fit in that world.
- Just leave!
You have the drive!
- Oh, you uh, you got a little something.
- Holy shit.
- Oh okay.
- Did he have something in his hair?
- Yeah.
- I didn't see anything.
- It was there.
- Well what was it?
- [Over earpiece] Fucking stop it!
- What was that?
- Uh, you know what?
I think that was my phone.
Hey, maybe it was my Grindr?
You guys ever seen Grindr?
Here take a look.
That's my profile.
- Are you really 24?
- Yes.
You know, maybe it wasn't Grindr.
Yeah, it was a text from my ex-boyfriend.
Yeah, boy friend.
My ex boyfriend, whose a boy.
- That's so sad.
When did you break up?
- Uh, a long time ago.
- Ugh and he still texts you, hmm?
- Yeah he's kinda clingy.
- Is that your type?
- My type is any guy, okay?
Any guy.
Just, uh, any guy.
- Do you have low standards?
- What are you doing?
What's happening?
Are you a shrink?
Are you a therapist?
Are you giving me therapy right here?
(continues ranting)
- Excuse me, sir?
You have a phone call.
- No, I don't.
Hey, how about after this,
we could, um,
- Hey, uh, you gotta a little something right there.
Got it.
- God damnit.
(outro sting)
- Hey it's Grant from CollegeHumor.
Click here to subscribe to the channel.
Click here for more fun stuff.
And, sorry,
guys, it feels like I'm out.
Am I out?
Because I can like,
I can see the top of the camera,
so its, is this better?
Alright, it feels worse.
Okay, well, thanks for watching.