(slide whistle) - Hello, welcome back
to the Laboratory of Ecology and Natural Sciences.
Your last expedition was so successful
that I've got a brand new and very exciting update for you.
A colleague of mine, Professor Hammond,
has reached out to me to see if I could send
my best photographer over to his brand-new facility
located on a nearby island.
Unfortunately, Todd didn't wanna go, so I'm sending you.
- To be fair I did tons of photo expeditions
when I was a kid,
so much like everything else in this Pokemon world,
it only makes sense to send
a single solitary child headlong into danger.
- And you're off.
(electronic beeping) (whooshing)
As always, I will be here on the other end
of the talk feature of your camera.
Todd's also here, along with Rita and-
- I'm a better photographer than you
and I'm gonna show it one day
by taking better versions of all of your photos.
(sighing) - Yes, Phil is here too,
to, I guess neg you?
I'm honestly not sure why Phil is always here.
- To prove that I'm the best Pokemon photographer!
- But you don't even take photos.
You just neg the protagonist.
I've known you for how long
and you've never taken a single photo.
- Well, that's just because- - Shut up, Todd.
They're about to go through the big scary gate.
(whimsical music) - Hello!
Now that you're officially in the bounds of my facility
you can begin your photographic survey of Prehistoric Park.
My completely safe and definitely well staffed park
of rare Pokemon that I've genetically engineered
using bleeding edge experimental techniques
by combining their DNA with more
aggressive and biologically unstable present day Pokemon.
If you have any questions you can ask me
or my good friend, and prototypical Tumblr sexyman,
Professor Malcolm.
- Yes, well, I, uh, hmm, yeah, yes, hello.
- Let the photography begin.
(birds cawing) (camera clicking)
- Ah dang, those photos are so good.
I'm gonna take better ones. - Shut up, Phil.
Look there, it's something faster scaring the Archeops.
(camera shutter clicking) (biting crunch)
- Wait. What is- - Shut up, Phil.
- No I thought I saw it eating.
- Phil, I swear to God.
Look! Some cute baby Shieldon.
Why don't you try feeding them
some of the fluffruit I packed for you.
- Uh, guys, is that? - Shut up, Phil.
- No I just thought- - Hey, just a quick heads up,
we might have had a little bit
of a whoopsie poopsie over here
(crashing)
and maybe some of the bioengineered Pokemon
(screaming) have gone a little murder.
So, just a heads up maybe be a little careful
(crashing) as you go.
I've sent Professor Malcolm out to try to handle things
so I'm sure he'll be able to get this under control,
but, you know, just keep an eye out.
(screaming) - Oh gosh, this is terrible.
Professor Mirror, teleport them out of there now!
- I can't, the NEO-1 can only teleport
at the start or end of the course!
(growling)
- Why would you design it like that?
- I don't know, it just sorta made sense at the time.
- Can you make it go faster? - Well, they could use turbo
but they haven't unlocked it (screaming)
by going to the Shivering Snowfields yet,
so I'm afraid that won't work either.
- What? Just activate turbo for the NEO-1.
- Well, I just feel like they should have to earn the right
to use turbo. - That doesn't make any sense
but gosh, just be careful out there.
- And don't forget to take pictures!
- What? - Look I just feel like
you're gonna get some really interesting shots of Pokemon
acting in ways that they don't normally act.
(growling) (screaming)
Oh what, it's weird that I think we should take pictures
of this carnage? (screaming)
This is war and you're a photographer!
Professor Oak sent me out into a literal live volcano
when I was like 10 years old and I took some damn pictures.
(camera shutter clicking) (squelching gore)
- Oh, thank God! I'm hitching a ride with you out of here.
(thudding) Oh and so you know,
now is a perfect time to start moving.
(growling) (suspenseful music)
- Professor, you really need to activate turbo.
- I just think they'll appreciate it more if they earn it.
- Activate turbo now! (engine revving)
- Okay fine fine, but I'm turning it off
when they get back safely.
- And by God take some pictures.
(camera clicking) - Wow, great timing!
(thudding) - Go faster.
(bush rustling) (growling)
Oh, thank God, this is Muldoon,
he's security for the island.
- You better keep moving you two,
right now we're being hunted
by some of the most dangerous creatures on the whole island,
a pack of ravenous Poliwhirl.
- Wait, Poliwhirl are dangerous?
- Lethal at eight months and I do mean lethal.
There, look. (dramatic music)
Clever whirl. (cartoon boxing sounds)
Keep moving, save yourself.
It's too late for me.
Ah, that really hurts! Ah!
- Pictures. (camera clicking)
- There look, it's the exit coming up.
You're almost out of there.
- Thank God. (thudding)
Try the fluffruit!
(thudding) (growling)
- Throw a Pokeball at it. (ominous music)
- They don't have any Pokeballs,
they don't need them for photography expeditions.
- Wait so you send this literal child
into dense jungles filled with dangerous Pokemon
and you don't even give them Pokeballs
to try to protect them from getting eaten or maimed?
- A real photographer only needs a camera.
Pokeballs are for cowards.
- Maybe try a Lumina orb?
- What's a Lumina orb going to do?
- I don't know, it's worth a try.
(electronic beeping) (groaning)
- All right, I didn't want it come to this,
but there's an old dangerous technology
that I used to use when I would go on my expeditions.
They're in the case in the NEO-1.
These are illegal now
but feel free to use some of my pester balls.
(growling) - That didn't do anything
other than bother it more.
- Well, I mean it's called a pester ball.
- We're gonna die. Isn't there anything else you can try?
(camera clicking) (soft music playing)
(Tyrantrum's feet thudding)
(electronic beeping)
(happy music)
- Thank goodness you made it out of there alive
- Well yes, but I do have some terrible news.
See, you used the melody player
to get the Tyrantrum to dance, which was really clever,
but you didn't get any pictures of it dancing!
- Oh no, I guess that means...
- That's right, we're sending you back.
Try to get some brand new shots
and definitely don't miss that Tyrantum dancing this time.
- And you're off. (slide whistle)