JUSTIN: Oh, oh, it's retracting its ears to give it more mouth strength!
JUSTIN & GRIFFIN: Oh god!
GRIFFIN: Hi, I'm Griffin McElroy.
JUSTIN: And my name is Justin McElroy,
and I've waited long enough to say this: I am an artist.
GRIFFIN: Well, we're both artists. But we're also the creators of Monster Factory,
a series in which we take your most beloved video games
and make terrible, terrible things inside of them.
Things that usually live on the Internet, but this time around
we have a more prestigious target in mind:
the big famous Museum.
GRIFFIN: Last time, I think we crushed it.
We made some truly poignant and moving —
I would say like, turn-of-the-century, sort of pastoral occult —
was sort of the direction we took it in.
This time, I'd like to explore a different genre.
A different medium, if we can.
JUSTIN: More, yeah, a dark period. Is this a different period for us?
GRIFFIN: I think we're entering our blue period. Somebody get this kitty its medicine, oh god!
I mean, do we start with the face and then get to the body?
That seemed to work for us pretty well last time.
JUSTIN: Right. The face is the window to the body.
GRIFFIN: Just like God said in the Bible.
Yeah see, this is kind of the direction that I'm — sort of a Five Nights at Freddy's —
BOTH: Oh my Christ child!
JUSTIN (laughing): What's in there?!
GRIFFIN: Can we get a zoom in and enhance? Enhance!
BOTH: Dehance, dehance! No!
GRIFFIN: Oh my god, it's like something out of Silent Hill.
Ohhhhhh, yes. (laughing)
Ohhhhh, yes!
I'll have what she's having!
No, I won't!
BOTH: Ohhhh, yes! Ohhhhh, Daniel!
JUSTIN: Lustrous, I like that.
GRIFFIN: Yeah, she got that Herbal Essence.
JUSTIN: Somebody got their snoot in the jelly, eh?
GRIFFIN: Yeah, somebody's got a little jelly snoot!
Oh, bad kitty. If my kitty got her snoot in the jelly I'd be so peeved off.
JUSTIN: Well...
GRIFFIN: Hey, it's having fun now!
"Oh hi there! I hope you put on your 3D glasses that came in this week's TV Guide!"
And then she snaps at you!
This, I mean, whatever she is, she has recently eviscerated.
It's definitely — she's fresh off a hunt, and
what's the point in getting cleaned up? It's just gonna get nasty again.
Oh! It literally just winked out of existence!
JUSTIN: We gotta rebuild. I don't remember any of this!
GRIFFIN: It's not gonna be as good this time.
GRIFFIN: Whoaaaa, I got erased?! Whoa! JUSTIN: Not me!
GRIFFIN: Why does surprise make the ears turn into a Mickey Mouse?
JUSTIN: By the way, football, if you're listening, you are free to use this as a new mascot.
GRIFFIN: Helllllll yeah.
JUSTIN: Intimidating and very forceful, but also, like... a little bit feminine.
JUSTIN: She's on a puzzle. She's doing one of those great Skyrim puzzles.
GRIFFIN: Fuckin' shit. This is — this might be art, like a little bit, maybe somewhat.
JUSTIN: It's veering into art.
We should put in like, 'Vox media called and they want us to put in a disclaimer here:'
'If you look directly into the mouth without the special glasses for too long, that's not on us.'
'Because you will lose your soul.'
GRIFFIN: Do we like the huge, huge powerful arms?
JUSTIN: I love it. I wish you'd uncross them, just let those bad boys go.
GRIFFIN: I've never seen hands be hateful before. But here we are.
JUSTIN: I do like that you're adjusting these sliders without putting the camera on the hands.
They're kinda attempting to no-scope.
GRIFFIN: Okay, I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
JUSTIN: I don't think that's art anymore. It's past art.
GRIFFIN: No, no, no, no, no, no. It's gonna take too long to fix all of em though. Ugh, Justin.
JUSTIN (laughing): Just leave it. Oh well! You know, art's messy.
GRIFFIN (laughing): You think Jackson Pollock was like, "Oh no, too many drippy drops!"
GRIFFIN: Shit. Yeahhhh, I forgot about that one.
GRIFFIN: Fuck. JUSTIN: (laughing hysterically)
GRIFFIN: No that's good! I don't know if those are her legs
or she's just wearing some fucking straight-up Juggalo JNCO situation,
but I'm super duper into it.
JUSTIN: But I still want this sword to look, like, ridiculous in her hands.
GRIFFIN: I want it to look like some big big anime bullshit.
JUSTIN: Yeah.
GRIFFIN: Alright hold up, let me count: one, two, three, four, five.
GRIFFIN: What's this finger?! JUSTIN: What's that doing?
GRIFFIN: One, two, three, four, five.
What's this finger doing? Who is it?!
God, I hope you understand that Todd didn't — this is not Todd's wish or dream.
JUSTIN (laughing): It's all Todd's plan. It's all Todd's grand design.
GRIFFIN (laughing): And he programmed it.
That's why it says, "SOS! Please, I'm Todd Howard, you've got to get me out of here!"
"They made me do a left scrotum and a right scrotum!"
Not being able to see her lower jaw is really, really something else.
JUSTIN: Chomp Mom! Powerful!
GRIFFIN: Hi, welcome to Skyrim. Here's fuckin' Groot, how's your game?
You havin' fun? You enjoying — I know it was on sale on Steam — you havin' fun?
Cause Groot's fuckin' you up.
This is the tutorial. Groot's gonna fuckin' fuck you up.
Welcome to Skyrim. I'm Todd.
What were you saying Justin about the uh, scale of the sword
and not wanting it to be too big?
JUSTIN: It's just... pretty...
...that's very anime, I think, for this.
GRIFFIN: Hey Faendal!
(Both laughing hysterically)
GRIFFIN: She's on the hunt!
JUSTIN: Come on, chicken! You're kid food now.
GRIFFIN (laughing): Now you're kid food!
JUSTIN (laughing): Hey everybody, your chicken's kid food!
GRIFFIN: Alright. So this tree can be like, in the background
JUSTIN: I'd raise a family here for sure.
GRIFFIN: Yeah this is good. This is good, actually.
So let's, um, let's set the scene.
So we need some wolf kids.
JUSTIN: Maybe like 50.
Yeah, this is pretty much rad.
JUSTIN: Hell yeah. GRIFFIN: Yeah this is very good.
GRIFFIN: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. BOTH: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
GRIFFIN: Do we want to get some venison, like we just are feeding the children?
JUSTIN: I love that.
GRIFFIN: Oh shit!
JUSTIN: That's rad!
GRIFFIN: This one motherfucker on the left wasn't ghost riding the whip!
God! We're losing a lot of good wolves.
Well now we need more kids, Justin!
JUSTIN: God. If this isn't parenting...
GRIFFIN: OKAY!
JUSTIN: Oh that's goooood.
GRIFFIN: This is gonna look real pretty hanging...
...just take down fucking 'Starry Night' cause that one's bullshit.
Who wants to see a bunch of stars? I wanna see Chomp Mom feeding her kids!
JUSTIN: That's new! Everyone's seen that other one.