Is this statement controversial?
Most of your work friends are fake friends.
They're not real.
And since I'm kind of dressed like Regina George,
today, I want to talk to you
and save you the trouble, the stress, the drama,
and quite honestly the heartache of being
duped by fake friends at work.
Pull up a chair and your favorite beverage
because today I'm spilling the tea on
the danger of fake friends at work,
how to spot a fake friend and
what to do if you have one.
Hello, my friend, I'm so excited that you're
here chatting with me today!
If you are new here, my name is Jennifer Brick.
I'm your new career bestie.
Around here I talk about career success,
workplace obstacles and toxic work environments.
If you're like, Yes, I need more of that in my life,
tap the subscription button on the notification bell.
Also, I hang out on LinkedIn and
Instagram pretty much every day.
So if you want to go hang out with me over there,
I'll leave the links to those profiles
down in the description bar.
But enough about me!
If you're ready to talk about fake friends at work,
tap that like button and let's get into it.
I just realized that my air conditioner was on. So
I hope that audio wasn't too bad. I turned it off
to make it better for you guys. So if I'm
sweating. So anyways, first of all, what is the
danger of fake friends at work? I'm not talking
about the benign fake friends that think work as a
family. And that just because you happen to work
at the same company or on the same team, that you
should spend 24 seven together really I feel bad
for that person. So I don't want to talk trash
about them. I'm talking about the person who
pretends to be your friend at work. And once
they've gained your trust, they abuse it, they
take credit for your work, they throw you under
the bus, they would step on you in an instant if
it would get them ahead. And quite honestly, if
you have had one of these fake friends, it's
really a malicious coworker it hurts. A couple of
weeks ago, we talked about trusting co workers and
it's so hard when you felt like you had a friend
at work that you can really trust that you had a
co worker that you can trust only for them to
reveal themselves to be a fake friend. That's
really a backstabbing, coworker in disguise. And
if you've dealt with one of these before, drop one
of the Kersey emojis into the comments. The real
danger of this type of fake friend at work is that
they really are willing to do anything in order to
get ahead, no friend at work is sacred to them.
And as a result of this backstabbing coworker, you
might find yourself unwittingly in a malicious
gossip cycle with them getting the promotion that
you are working for, or with your personal brand
tarnished at work, and you don't want any of those
things. No, obviously, ideally, you want to avoid
this type of fake friend at work. So how can you
spot them, the first sign of a fake friend at work
is they are the co worker who is overly friendly.
So when you first join a team, or you've joined
the company, they are the co worker that is coming
straight over to your desk, they're like
overwhelmingly inclusive in a way that kind of
feels a little bit off, quite honestly. Now this
isn't to say that every co worker who welcomes you
to the team or welcomes you to the company is a
fake friend. But there is a difference in most
people don't go exorbitantly out of their way to
explain the dynamics and the politics and
everything. And last, there is a reason for it.
Another way to spot a fake friend at work is that
this is a co worker who overly inserts themselves
into your work and your life. Are they asking to
join meetings that you have requesting to be
assigned to the same projects? are they offering
assistance? And then leader taking credit for the
work that you did because of their assistance? Or
are they asking overly personal questions about
your life that maybe you don't want to talk to co
workers about because work life boundaries are a
thing they're asking you about your relationships,
they're asking about your family, they're asking
about your shoe size, I don't know it doesn't make
any sense at work. And usually you find that
they're using it for the next scientist spot a
fake friend at work, and that is that they're the
office drama person don't want to gender it here
and they are deep into the office gossip. Now you
know that I don't keep it a secret at all.
Sometimes their drama, llamas kind of get fat. I
know mine gets hungry. And not all gossip at work
is necessarily bad gossip. There is good gossip
that can be had. However, the fake friend at work
is really into the bad gossip, the malicious
gossip, the gossip about other co workers personal
lives. And anytime that you hear a co worker
talking about another person's personal life,
their personal struggles, their personal drama, I
can assure you they're having those conversations
about you when you're not in the room as well. So
anytime that you have a coworker who is super
gossipy and moving up to you as your work BFF
you're really gonna question that relationship.
Another way to spot a fake friend at work is that
they're the co worker who is giving backhanded
compliments, which for the record are the worst
kind of compliment ever. Like just be a jerk. I
know how to deal with you if you're being a jerk
and I can tell you how to deal with jerks. So when
someone's pretending to be nice and offering these
backhanded compliments at work, they're really
making the situation much more complicated than it
needs to be. Oh, yeah, Jennifer, you did such a
great job in that project. I guess that's why you
took the extra time to complete it. A real friend,
including a real friend at work is going to be
someone who sincerely wants to lift you up, it
doesn't want to drag you down to their level. And
the next way to spot a fake friend at work is that
they're the nicest to you, when they need a favor.
They need your input on a project, they need help
to get a task done, they need access to some
information that only you have. All of a sudden,
this fake friend to work goes from being your
typical co worker into being the saccharine sweet
co worker who you know, is a backstabbing, co
worker. Now in fairness, generally us humans when
we want something from someone are going to be
nicer than that because reciprocity, so it's not
really a terrible thing. The difference between a
fake friend at work and how someone generally acts
is that they're really just going to be extra on
it. I think that's the best way that I can
describe that. And when you're dealing with this
fake friend at work, it's really easy to get
caught up in the drama and sucked into this game
that they're playing that you really don't want to
play. And this is one of the reasons why being
clear on what you want to work and the value that
you provide is so important. And that's one of the
reasons why I'm always talking to you guys about
you aq your unique awesomeness quotient, because
the clearer you are on the value that you add, and
how you want to shine, the less these distractions
and drama work are really going to get in your
way. If you haven't already, you can snag your
free you aq starter kit using the link in the
description bar down below, which actually is a
perfect bridge that brings us into what I really
want to talk to you about today, which is how to
cope with fake friends at work. It's a reality,
especially if you're working in a large
organization or with a big team, you are going to
deal with fake friends at work, you're gonna have
to deal with backstabbing, insecure co workers
from time to time, they're just kind of around
because humans gonna human in the good ways and
bad ways. So the first thing that you're going to
do, and this is the most important thing that
you're going to do anytime that you're working
with a backstabbing, co worker with a fake friend,
co worker with a toxic co worker, you're going to
get clear on your work life boundaries, what
topics are off the table at work, unless someone
is legitimately a friend that you happen to have
made at work, anytime that we're dealing with one
of those difficult co workers work life boundaries
are going to be absolutely crucial. In order to
actually manage that relationship. Even with
difficult co workers, your goal is to have a
positive and productive relationship because the
fake friend at work remember the drama piece, you
want to stay out of it. So the more that you can
just have a cordial working relationship that is
productive, you get things done, you can work
together all of that kind of thing, the better off
you are. Now this is going to require having solid
boundaries for you and good ways to redirect. And
I do have a few videos that I've added on to a
playlist that will help on that I'll also drop
into the description because everything's always
in the description. And I feel like I say all the
time. But it is important for you to note here
that co workers are not always your friend, you
don't have to talk about your personal life at
work. Just because someone asks for something at
work doesn't necessarily mean that you need to do
it. And when you're dealing with a fake friend at
work, what you really need to get really clear on
is the level of trust that you have with that co
worker because you can still trust your co worker
in order to have that positive and productive
working relationship together. You can still trust
your coworker to do their side of the work when
you're working on a project together, you can
still trust them to perform their job to an
adequate level because hey, that's showing up on
their performance review. Right and really,
anytime that you're working with someone and
you're making a friend at work, you need to get
clear on the level of trust that you have for
them. In fact, this is so important that I want
you to go and watch this video right now where I
really break down trust in the word coworkers and
trust so that you can figure out what level of
trust that you should have with your friend at
work especially with your fake friends. Now if
this video helps you give it a thumbs up it really
helps my channel and it makes you my favorite
career. bestie if and as always, thank you so much
for watching. I will see you in the next video.
Bye for now.