[typing]
Ahhh! What a lovely day.
Great day to just go for a walk down this here road.
Oh, I see the Katy Perry Sweet Treats House of Pain
is still enduring a raging inferno.
Mmm. Shame.
But it serves them right for decorating their house like that.
It, uh, y-yeah, I–I should stop looking.
Ahhh, yes, such a lovely day.
And I've got everything I need, too.
Not a desire of mine goes unquenched–
Uh, oh! Wait, what the frick is this?
*Another* stuff pack? Oh, come on.
We just had a pack of stuff last freakin' month!
Ugh, I *demand* to know who's responsible for this!
[groans]
We meet again!
Yes, it's The Sims 3 Diesel Stuff,
the seventh stuff pack expansion for The Sims 3.
I must admit, when I first heard the name, I had no idea what they meant.
What kind of "diesel" are we talking about?
This?
Apparently EA chose the Italian design company Diesel,
which, consequently, is the *least* interesting diesel they could have gone with.
Frick, I'd be *way* more excited for a Vin Diesel stuff pack.
With tanks of NOS
and razor blades
and scalp wax.
D20s...
Maybe even bags of gravel
to gargle with every morning to get that voice.
But instead, we get fashion and furniture
with ATTITUDE!
Yes!
What does that even mean?
Does it make a snide remark when you tell it to take out the trash or something?
"Style that defines..."
"Your Lifestyle. Your Attitude."
"Your Intimate Moments."
My intimate moments, huh?
I'm sorry, but if the kind of end table you have in your room defines your intimate moments,
then your intimate moments suck!
The pack starts up
with a pretty uninspired loading screen
featuring Diesel's "Only The Brave" logo thing in the background.
You can barely even tell what it is
since it's cropped off like crazy,
but I guess that's what you get
when you have FASHION with ATTITUDE!
Choose any saved game
or start a new game to access the stuff,
because otherwise you'll just be sitting there,
looking at the menu,
and wondering if you dug a hole through the center of the Earth and jumped in
whether or not you'd stay at the center because of gravity,
or fall through to the other side.
Or maybe that's just me.
You really only have three categories of stuff this time:
clothing for women,
clothing for men,
and furniture with an implied aggressive disposition.
Aren't they so edgy?
In the women's clothing section, you have clothes for women,
as The Sims has yet to allow cross-dressing without mods.
Now, I'm no fashion or style aficionado –
frick, my idea of acceptable clothing
is an MS-DOS t-shirt without stains on it –
but this stuff just seems pretty average to me.
I'm sure that some of this pleases *someone's* aesthetic pleasure zones entirely,
but personally, there are only a handful of clothing items here
that I would have my Sims wear.
You've got several everyday tops and bottoms,
outfits, a set of underwear and a swimsuit.
Same with dudes.
And for once, there is quite a bit to choose from here.
This stuff falls into the same categories as the women's clothing
and it's certainly nice to see some more men's apparel.
Although, honestly, I make my own clothing for my dude Sims,
and what I don't make I get for free through custom content.
So I really can't say that this excites me too much.
Another thing that doesn't excite me is the furniture
with an implied aggressive disposition.
I mean, you only get 14 items,
and a lot of it can't be recolored
because of the silly designs placed on them.
You've got a bed, a couch,
some chairs, a mirror,
some coffee tables that look like musician's gear cases,
and some lamps,
one of which appears to be pulling double duty
as a frickin' barber shop dryer chair.
You've also got these really stupid-looking tables.
They don't look *so* bad from a distance. Maybe a bit blue.
But then you get closer and you'll notice these tacky designs on them.
Now keep in mind only the legs can be recolored,
so you're stuck with these gaudy- looking textures no matter what.
I hope you like 'em.
Same with the bed, which is a shame
because it's actually the nicest official bed in the game so far, that I'm aware of.
You want to be comfortable
or do you want a bed that doesn't induce a seizure just by looking at it?
'Cause you can't have both. You gotta choose.
So, is The Sims 3 Diesel Stuff worth buying not?
The suggested retail price in America is $19.99.
So at least it's not as expensive as the amazingly stupid
Katy Perry Sweet Treats pack from only a month ago.
But let's get real. Unless you seriously just like Diesel's clothes,
or somehow feel that those extremely tasteless furniture designs are awesome,
then I would totally just pass on this pack.
For $20, you can just go the Sims 3 online store
and grab a bunch of items that, in my opinion,
are *far* better in terms of quality and aesthetics.
Or you can just even hit up websites like The Sims Resource
for tons of free content that doesn't suck.
I just can't justify the money this pack costs for what it provides.
But if you *really* just can't do without fashion and furniture
that yearns to be edgy and have you embrace your individuality by conforming –
or just don't give a crap about saving money for better things –
then maybe you'll find it worthwhile.
I'm not holding my breath.
[Muzak-style keyboard music plays]