[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ SPILL YOUR GUTS
>> James: OKAY.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE FOOD WE HAVE:
>> THAT LOOKS LIKE SOAP.
James: IT DOES.
HERE WE HAVE: FISH EYES.
CHILI CHEESE DOG SMOOTHIE.
COW BLOOD AND PORK TONGUE JELLY.
BIRD SALIVA.
PICKLED PIGS FEET.
HOT SAUCE.
THIS ONE I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
TARANTULAS.
>> PHR *UL.
James: AND FINAL OUR TRUSTEE FRIEND, YES
BULL PENIS.
>> THAT SEEMS TO BE HORRIBLY SLICED UP IN A BAD ACCIDENT.
>> James: NO DENYING IT, IT DOES.
>> THE BULL GOT IT CAUGHT IN THE ZIP ARE.
>> James: A HELL OF A ZIPPER.
JON, YOU WILL ASK ME THE FIRST QUESTION.
BEFORE YOU ASK, CHOOSE A FOOD YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO EAT SHALL I
NOT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION.
[LAUGHING] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> James: OKAY.
LOOKS LIKE JONNY BOY HAS COME TO PLAY.
>> WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE?
James: IT SMILES LIKE SORT OF, WELL YOU CAN SMELL IT -- IT
SMELLS LIKE VERY, VERY DUSTY FEET.
>> THAT IS ACCURATE.
James: THE BEST WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT.
GIVE ME A QUESTION, I HOPE TO GOD I CAN ANSWER IT.
>> WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE GUEST YOU HAVE EVER HAD ON THE
COUCH?
>> James: COME ON NOW.
>> KEEP IN MIND I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS SHOW.
IT CAN'T BE ME.
>> James: THERE IS JUST NO WAY -- I CAN SAY THAT.
BECAUSE HE IS VERY FAMOUS.
>> YES.
I'M SURE HE IS.
YOU HAVE LET IT GO HE IS A HE.
IF YOU WANT YOU CAN SAY TOM HANKS RIGHT NOW.
WE WILL ALL GET IT.
[LAUGHING] >> WE ALL GET IT.
[LAUGHING] >> James: UMMM, I DON'T WANT --
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IS EAT A DRIED UP TARANTULA.
>> James: I KNOW -- HOW CAN I -- I -- IT'S NOT THAT HE WAS.
IT WAS THE LIKE A BAD PERSON.
JUST -- >> OH!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> James: OH MY GOD.
>> NOW THAT SOUNDED KIND OF LIKE A POTATO CHIP.
WAS IT?
>> James: I HAVE EATEN POTATO CHIPS IN MY TIME.
IT'S LIKE EATING EXACTLY WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE.
RIGHT, JON, I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A -- A
CHILI CHEESE DOG SMOOTHIE.
WE HAVE BLENDED CHILI CHEESE
DOGS.
>> ARE THESE FROM PINKs OR 7-11.
>> James: WE WERE ON HIATUS LAST WEEK.
WE GOT THEM THE WEEK BEFORE THAT.
>> THEY DON'T GO BAD.
James: AT A GAS STATION.
OKAY, JON, YOU HAVE RECENTLY EXPRESSED A INTEREST IN PLAYING
BATMAN.
RANK THESE PREVIOUS BATMANS FROM BEST TO WORST.
GEORGE CLOONEY.
CHRISTIAN BALE AND BEN BEN AFFL >> THIS IS A CONVERSATION WE
WOULD HAVE NOT ON CAMERA.
>> James: YOU KNOW A CONVERSATION WE WOULD HAVE NOT
ON CAMERA, ME TELLING YOU MY LEAST FAVORITE GUEST --
>> THEY LEFT A COUPLE OFF.
James: VAL KILMER.
MICHAEL KEATON.
IF YOU WANT TO ADD THEM IN.
>> I DON'T.
James: I THINK WE GO -- >> HIGH HOW LOW OR LOW TO HIGH.
James: WHATEVER WAY YOU WANT TO GO.
OH MY GOD, STOP, STOP, STOP.
STOP, STOP!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> I FEEL THAT WAS ONE DOG'S
WORTH.
>> James: WOW, THAT WAS A SOLID EFFORT.
HOW WAS IT?
>> THICK.
James: YA.
OKAY.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING FOR HERE?
GO FOR -- OH DON'T.
OH.
>> HERE IS WHY.
I'M BEING KIND.
IT'S LIKE THAT MUCH.
>> James: YOU HAVE NEVER TRY IT DID.
>> YOU HAVE?
James: YES.
>> AND?
James: AND IT'S [BEEP] DISGUSTING.
>> WHY.
James: IT'S LIKE -- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> IS IT TRUE IT'S ACTUALLY.
HOW DO YOU BIRDS -- >> James: THEY HOLD THE BIRD AND
JUST.
>> THAT MAY VERY WELL NOT BE SALIVA, SIR.
OH, THIS IS -- EASY.
THERE ARE SO MANY.
FLAME YOUR LEAST FAVORITE JON HAMM MOVIE.
[LAUGHING] >> James: I DON'T THINK THERE
ARE THAT MANY.
>> OKAY.
James: THERE ARE GREAT ONES.
"BAD TIMES AT THE EL ROYALE."
>> IN THEATERS NOW.
James: ONE OF THE BEST FILMS I HAVE SEEN THIS YEAR.
MY LEAST FAVORITE JON HAMM MOVIE.
>> DOESN'T MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE IT.
>> James: YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S HARD -- >> OUTCLASS.
James: WELL, TAG.
[LAUGHING] [LAUGHING]
IS [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[LAUGHING] >> FAIR ENOUGH.
[LAUGHING] >> James: DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT
WAS COMING.
ALRIGHT, JON, JON, JON, JON HAMM.
YOU DON'T WANT THE HOT SAUCE.
SHUT UP, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
THAT IS BRUTAL.
OH MY GOD -- >> THE IDEA WOULD BE TO PUT THE
HOT SAUCE IN THE CHILI CHEESE SMOOTHY.
>> James: YOU WON'T EVER ANSWER THIS.
>> I MAY NOT BE ABLE.
TO.
>> James: YOU WON'T.
WHO IS ONE PERSON YOU HAVE WORKED WITH YOU NEVER WANT TO
WORK WITH AGAIN.
[LAUGHING] YOU CAN'T -- I MEAN THAT IS A
BRUTAL QUESTION.
>> WE HAVE NEVER WORKED TOGETHER.
>> James: NOPE.
>> I DO HAVE AN ANSWER FOR THIS QUESTION.
>> James: GO ON.
>> BUT I WON'T SAY IT.
James: NO, STOP.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> James: OH, GOD.
WE SHOULD OF SHOT THIS AFTER -- OH, MAN.
JON, I MEAN YOU'RE A LEGEND.
HOW WAS THAT?
>> AYE OPENING.
I DON'T THINK YOUR AYES ARE THE ONLY THING THAT WILL OPEN.
>> NO.
IT WILL BE A FUN RIDE HOME.
>> James: OKAY.
JON, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME?
>> James: OH, [BEEP].
IT'S COW BLOOD AND PORK TONGUE JELLY.
>> NONE OF THOSE WORDS LONG TOGETHER.
>> James: NO, THEY DON'T.
>> CBPTJ.
BY THE WAY YOU HAVE A LITTLE TARANTULA IN YOUR MOUTH.
>> James: I CAN FEEL IT AROUND THE INSIDE OF MY MOUTH.
OKAY.
>> FINAL QUESTION.
James: HERE IT COMES.
>> WELL SEE THIS IS SIMILAR.
YOU ARE GOING TO ENJOY THAT.
>> THIS DOESN'T ASK YOU TO NAME YOUR LEAST FAVORITE ANYTHING.
IT ASKS YOU TO RANK YOUR FELLOW LATE NIGHT HOSTS FROM BEST TO
WORST.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> TWO JIM HE'S AND A STEPHEN.
James: COBER, FALLON AND KIMEL.
I LOVE THEM ALL DEARLY.
[LAUGHING] >> BY THE WAY THAT HAS SOME GIVE
BACK TO IT.
FEEL IT.
YA.
>> James: IT -- >> IT REALLY DOES.
James: I REALLY LIKE ALL OF THEM.
THEY HAVE ALL BEEN VERY KIND TO ME.
>> AHHH!
>> YOU WANT TO WASH THAT DOWN.
James: THAT IS WEIRD.
THERE IS A MOMENT WHERE YOU GO, ALRIGHT.
THEN YOU GO -- [LAUGHING]
>> I ACTUALLY SAW THAT MOMENT HAPPEN.
WE BOTH LOOKED.
NOT BAD.
>> James: GENUINELY YOUR MOUTH GOES OH, OH!
OKAY.
>> James: COME ON NOW THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
>> COME ON.
James: OH, YES.
WHAT WILL I GIVE YOU.
JONNY, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU -- I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE
BIT OF BULL PENIS.
OKAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> NOW I HAVE BEEN TOLD YOU HAVE
HAD BULL PENIS.
>> James: YA, BIG TIME.
>> AND?
James: IT'S ALRIGHT.
>> SURE IN.
James: NO.
>> THIS FEELS LIKE PENIS JERKY.
IT'S A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL OF -- >> James: TALKING OF THIS IS A
VERY APT QUESTION.
JON.
>> YES.
James: THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF TALK ON-LINE.
>> OH BOY.
James: ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE REFER TO AS THE "HAMMERCONDA."
>> I'M JUST REALLY WONDERING WHAT THE QUESTION WILL BE.
>> James: SHOW ME WITH YOUR HANDS HOW BIG THE HAMMERCONDA
REALLY IS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> James: HAMMERCONDA
MY HAMMERCONDA.
>> BABY DOES HAVE BACK.
James: ROUGHLY TELL ME WHEN TO STOP.
>> ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO.
OH.
I MEAN -- >> OH.
James: YOU SURE YOU WANT TO EAT IT?
MY MOM IS IN THE AUDIENCE.
SHE ONLY CAME BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO FIND OUT HOW BIG THE
HAMMERCONDA IS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> WHERE IS YOUR MOM.
[LAUGHING] >> James: HOAXER, HE HAS DONE
IT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT A INCREDIBLE NIGHT WITH MR. JON
HAMM.
EVERYBODY, WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE LATE LATE SHOW.
♪♪♪