hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about seven signs of a toxic person
now let's begin number one selfish inflexibility does your friend take an interest in your life
or is your friendship all about them selfish behavior is a very common sign of toxicity
every friendship should be an equal playing field sometimes you take an interest in them
you ask questions about their life and you bond over their talents and hobbies but your friends
should give you the same treatment they should take an interest in you ask questions about you
and make an effort to learn about the things you like but toxic friends only care about themselves
alright let's say your friend loves to go camping you know they love to camp so the
two of you go together frequently now even though the outdoors isn't really your thing you know how
much it means to your friend so you find ways to enjoy the experience but one weekend instead
of going camping you want to do something you love you love going to the beach maybe
there's a movie you're dying to see either way you tell your friend about how excited you are
but they tell you to go alone in other words they're not willing to compromise their own time
to do something you like even though you take an interest in their hobbies they don't take
an interest in yours now if this sounds familiar your friend may be more selfish than you realize
they're only thinking about themselves and they don't treat you like an equal part of your
friendship but you deserve to be treated better so don't settle for this kind of toxic dynamic
number two embarrassing blackmail has your friend ever threatened you have they held
an embarrassing secret over your head this is a tell-tale sign that someone is toxic
a friendship should foster faith and trust when you tell your friends something
they should protect your secret you should never worry that your friend will use that information
against you but toxic friends do all right let's say you had an embarrassing moment last night
you did and you said some things you're going to regret but you trust your friend will keep your
secrets now of course your trust is immediately broken it turns out your friend took a video of
you you tell your friend to get rid of it but they say they won't unless you do them a favor
and when you say no they threaten to send that video to all your friends this is how
toxic people manipulate their friends they create trust they wait for them to let their guard down
then they abuse that vulnerability to satisfy their own agenda friends should never blackmail
their friends if you know someone who does this they're probably toxic number three vampiric
negativity is your friend constantly negative is every word they say sad or angry these people are
often called spiritual vampires because they suck the energy out of every situation no matter where
you are at home at a restaurant at a holiday party spiritual vampires bring the entire room down just
imagine you're having a funny conversation with a group of people you're all telling funny stories
when suddenly one person starts complaining about their own problems a light-hearted conversation
quickly devolves into an awkward rant and just like that one comment can ruin the conversation
for everyone this is how spiritual vampires take their toll most people approach topics
with a fun and playful attitude but vampires are searching for ways to make it about their own
negativity they want to bring everyone down so they tank every conversation they're a part of
so if you know someone who's constantly negative don't let them suck the energy out of your life
now you may not realize how huge of an effect their negativity has not only is it damaging
your other relationships it also takes a toll on your mentality so do yourself a favor spend
your time with people who bring you up not bring you down number four constant judgment
does your friend criticize everyone if your friend is toxic they may be judgmental too
toxic people are notorious gossips they spend way too much of their time criticizing other people
especially their friends just imagine someone in your friend group gets a big promotion at work
let's call them roberts everyone in your group is excited for robert so you all celebrate over
a nice dinner as soon as dinner is over a toxic person may criticize robert they'll attack little
things like the way robert was dressed or try to undermine robert's accomplishments
why well because toxic people get jealous of their friend's success and rarely realize how
their actions are affecting others instead they think only about ways to boost their own egos
at dinner your toxic friend didn't feel good about themselves they may have felt inferior
inadequate or even ignored because that night they weren't the center of attention they were
overshadowed by robert's achievements so they made themselves feel better by attacking others
but you don't have to sit idly by no if you know someone who judges others speak up defend your
friends and confront those toxic people sometimes they'll change for the better but if not it's time
to leave this toxic person behind number five center of the universe is your friend the center
of their own universe you'd be surprised how many people think the world revolves around them
they treat every friend like a butler or a servant they think every stranger admires them they insist
that they should be given every opportunity and they're convinced that no one deserves success
more than they do not only is this way of thinking delusional it's incredibly narcissistic
now you may notice these narcissistic friends demand everything but they give nothing in return
they expect you to be there every time something bad happens they expect you
to have their back no matter what they expect you to wait on them hand and foot
every time you prioritize yourself a toxic friend may tell you that you're a selfish person
or a bad friend but what happens when you're in trouble this narcissistic friend is nowhere to
be found because they think they're the center of the universe they think everything revolves
around their life so they can't spare a minute to think about yours hey don't be another planet
in this toxic solar system if your friend demands everything but gives nothing you're friends with a
toxic person number six overstepping boundaries no friendship should cross your personal boundaries
you have a right to space privacy and limitations but many toxic friends consider themselves above
your boundaries so they make a habit of crossing them anytime they like friends who ignore your
boundaries are very common and very toxic they think that because of your friendship that they
own you that they don't need to respect your choices your preferences or limits they'll walk
all over you because they don't value you as an individual here's a common example let's say you
spent the weekend with an old friend you went on a road trip together you reminisced about old times
and reconnected after a long time apart the next day you spend time with a toxic friend of yours
they demand to know every detail about the trip they want to know what you talked about they want
to know your friend's secrets they keep pressing you for information even if you tell them not to
they don't listen to you because they don't respect your boundaries and they don't like that
you have a life outside of them in their mind you belong to them overstepping boundaries is invasive
and inappropriate no matter how good a friends you are it comes from a place of distrust insecurity
and disrespect so don't let your toxic friend ignore your boundaries any longer number seven
defensive arguments does your friend control your choices do they make you feel defensive
or insecure about your own life this one can be more challenging to see with your own eyes because
friends should be honest with each other if your friend is worried about a decision you're making
they may disagree to protect your well-being a good friend will stand up and tell you that
something's wrong but they do so in a way that's respectful of your feelings in this way friends
become valuable sources of advice and perspective you know they have your best interests at heart
so you're not scared of what they're going to say on the other hand toxic friends disagree
with every decision you make they don't do it to protect you they do it to control you they argue
relentlessly about your opinions they'll shame you for making bad decisions and that negativity
creates insecurity inside of you you begin to feel scared of how they'll react you stop
telling them things because you know they're going to disapprove if you're trapped in this situation
then you're dealing with a toxic person but make sure your friend is the problem not your choices
you may know a toxic person who argues with every one of your decisions but you may feel anxiety
around your choices because you know you're making the wrong ones so how do you tell the difference
between a bad friend and a bad decision just look at the way your friend disagrees with you
if they're worried but respectful they may be looking out for your well-being
if they're aggressive and argumentative they're more likely trying to control you hey thank you
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