- Punish her with two weeks of silence to get her respect.
Hmm. Does this actually work?
What kind of consequences it can bring
to the relationship and how to handle it,
if you feel it's not fair.
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what it's all about,
how to handle it.
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My ladies, let me show you what I want to talk about.
- So basically what the two weeks rule is,
is any time that a woman gives you any behavior
that you don't like.
And again, the more enmesh she is with you
like the deeper the relationship goes,
the more important it is that you implement this rule
because you do not want her to start losing interest
and her disrespect to amplify itself.
Basically, women are very...
people in general,
you know, when you give them an inch,
they take a mile.
So once the bad behavior starts
and they start to do things like flake on you
or call you a name or make a joke at your expense
or just do something in general,
that is not something that you approve of,
generally speaking,
I recommend that you implement the two weeks rule.
Usually you just let them know
that you didn't really approve of that.
You're just kinda like, "Hey,
"like what's up with that?
"Like I thought we had plans.
"Why are you canceling the plans this the second
"time you did that."
And she continues with the excuse.
She knows you don't approve of it.
And she knows that it's disrespectful
but she still does it anyway.
At that point you say, "Very well,"
and you know, nothing else is necessary at that point
because she made a decision at that point
that she was going to put,
she was gonna put her
little need to rebel
or push your boundaries or whatever
ahead of you guys having a healthy
mutually respectful relationship.
So at that point,
it almost doesn't matter what you say.
You could say, "Cool, see you in two weeks."
Or you could say nothing.
You can say, "All right."
The key is here is not to be angry or butt-hurt about it.
You shouldn't be angry or butt-hurt.
This should not be that you're using to hurt her.
This is not anything you're doing.
Like she hurt you, so you're going to hurt her.
It's not like that at all.
It's just like she doesn't get that,
I don't accept people in my life who don't
who don't respect me--
- Okay.
Okay, ladies.
So I see his point about setting in boundaries.
I somewhat even agree with him.
However, I want to share with you six reasons how this type
of silent treatment can damage your relationship
and cause a breakup.
After that, I want to share with you how to handle it.
And then I will give you the answer where
it can actually work.
Number six.
I understand self-respect and removing your attention
from a person that has been disrespectful is a good boundary
for sure.
But before giving a punishment make sure
that it definitely was their fault.
And if you feel that the punishment
needs to be so extreme,
most likely that person is not
someone you should be dating.
Extreme silence like this long-term
is very toxic and eventually will cause a breakup.
Why? Because it repeats itself.
So if every single time someone disrespects you
you give them two weeks of silence.
Over a year, their resentment will build
up so much that the breakup will nearly have to happen.
Number five.
The problem with silent punishment is that a lot
of people overdose on it,
especially if they saw it working.
That is when we start to act spoiled
and give women silent treatment whenever
we don't get things their way.
Such as if she's not chasing him.
If she's setting in the boundaries
for him being disrespectful towards her.
Spoiled men even give punishments
if you don't accept last minute dates.
Punishments for disagreeing with him,
for not jumping when he clicks his fingers.
Number four.
Punishing someone for two weeks is way too extreme.
If the person has been rude or disrespectful,
especially with women,
a day or two of silence is a way even enough.
If they continue being rude and disrespectful
then maybe you perhaps are dating the wrong girl.
People do not change because you punish them.
People change if we want to change by deciding
to work on themselves.
Number three.
Punishing someone too harshly for what we have done
can cause a breakup.
As it will be just not fair.
For example, if I called a guy a let's say bad name,
maybe just slipped out, right?
And as a result,
he cuts me out for two weeks.
I will see it as not fair and will think,
well if this guy is giving me such a hard punishment,
me calling him a bad name,
don't think I'm able to handle a guy like that.
And I will look for the ways to move on.
As it just will be too much.
Some people think that giving someone
a bigger punishment when they deserve will prevent
them from doing mistakes.
That is not the case.
The person will just start to build resentment
and will feel as their punishment
towards you was unreasonable and unfair.
For the outcome could be,
instead of putting up with your punishment
they will dump you.
Number two.
If you punish someone with two weeks of no contact,
of silence without considering the whole situation.
So instead of thinking about what's the right thing to do
with the problem that you're facing,
you just blindly put yourself first
and punish a person.
The percentage that we will see you as very selfish
and immature will be very, very high.
There will be a big possibility
that we will just break up with you.
So number one reason how it can damage your relationship is
if you decide to punish someone with two weeks
of silence without hearing both sides of the story
you could punish a person who has done nothing wrong.
If it is the case, even when the punishment is done
the two weeks of silence are gone.
That person will not be able to forgive you.
As we will feel that you punished
them for no reason at all.
As an outcome there will be a lot of resentment
and hurt towards the guy which ultimately
can lead to a breakup.
Now, I want to share with you ladies
how to handle the punishment.
If you feel as he is just acting spoiled
and you have done nothing wrong.
For example,
he's punishing you because he didn't get his way.
He stops contacting you and it's been five
or seven days since you haven't heard from him.
And he is your boyfriend,
well break up with him.
As if you will wait,
he will keep bringing in the silent punishment
whenever he feels like getting his way.
But what if you actually were in the wrong,
if you have disrespected him well then apologize,
give him space to calm down and just don't do it again.
Want to share in which cases silence punishment works
but remember,
usually does not work long-term
and usually it does not solve problems.
In a lot of case it does not work with everyone.
So this is where you can actually use it.
If you live together and let's see
the guy went crazy on you
to a point that you cannot even look at him
he's been that disrespectful.
You even feel disgusted just by looking at him,
then yes, ignore him until you start to feel better.
And depending on how he is responding to you
for example,
is apologizing, trying to make it up, et cetera.
This can work, but most likely short term only.
As you do punish a person for when mistreating you
yet it doesn't mean that he will not do it again.
And most likely he will.
As they receive a punishment but they have not changed.
Now can boundary setting change a person?
Well, it can make them respect you more
and love you because without respect there is no love.
But not necessarily change of a person.
The change only happens in by being with you
he gets inspired by you and starts working
on himself to be the better person.
On the contrary,
if he thinks he's just fine as he is
we'll constantly have to set in boundaries
for the same issues.
So my ladies, I would love to hear in the comments below,
have you experienced the silent treatment?
And from coaching my clients
I know that a few of them have.
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