By the end of this video, you're gonna know how to spot when,
you know, you get that apology
that's actually sort of meant to manipulate you so stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
Also an attorney and author,
and on this channel and in these videos,
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whether it's a formal negotiation or just,
you know, dealing with them in everyday life
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Okay, so let's get down to it.
Alright, you know, with narcissus,
it's always about that projection deflection,
lying, denying.
So why not take that apology and use it as an opportunity
to obviously manipulate you as well.
It's never really much of an apology.
They don't really want to have to apologize.
You know, they have no sense of self,
you know, to apologize.
It's like, uh, I don't really want to have to do that.
So if they're going to apologize,
they're really either not going to.
I mean most of the time they just don't at all.
So if they're going to, it's definitely only because
they want to use it for some reason.
let's just forget about it.
Let's just forget about the past.
You know, I did all this horrible stuff to you.
But let's just forget about that.
Let's just you know move on in the future.
It's all going to be so much better.
Life is going to be amazing.
They paint this unbelievable picture of
what it's going to look like in the future.
So that's the future fake.
Forget about the past.
Let's just look forward and that's that.
because they love bomb
you in the beginning to get you back.
You know, into their their Lair.
I call it their lair, their web,
you know, to get you into their,
into their little kingdom
and so the real of bomb looks like gifting maybe it's like big dramatic gestures.
All meant to induce this sort of instant amnesia.
You're going to immediately forget about all the horrible
things that they may have done.
In those instances,
It's all meant to make you forget about
what they did and then if you do bring up what they may have done.
Well, what a POS you must be because
look at all that nice things that they did.
How could you possibly bring up what they did
because look how great they are.
They did these big dramatic gestures.
They showed up at your house and office with gifts.
They swept you away. They took you on vacation.
They took you uut to dinner. Oh my gosh!
So they're going to guilt you into not bringing up whatever the bad thing is that they did.
So what if they lied and cheated on you or stole your money or whatever it is that they did.
Hey, look at all the nice things I just did for you.
So you better not ever bring that other stuff up ever again.
So if you want to know more about love-bombing and how they induce you at the beginning,
you can definitely check out my video on that topic.
Anyway so that's the re-lovebomb.
which is kind of like,
blame-shifting, sort of like,
well, I only did what I did because of your behavior.
blaming it on you that they did what they did.
I wouldn't have done what I did
except for the fact that you were so horrible to me.
I wouldn't have cheated on you
except for the fact that you were so mean.
That you were ignoring me.
That you didn't pay enough attention to me.
That you were spending so much time with your mother.
That you pushed me into it.
You fell short in some way that you were working so much.
Whatever it was that your behavior or your treatment
or your this whatever.
You fell short in some way.
So therefore I had to do it.
So I'm sorry I acted that way
but it was basically your fault.
The guiltpology. So that's number three.
You know, I'm sorry but blahblahblah.
Anytime you get it I'm sorry, but that's not really an apology either.
I'm sorry, if I upset you.
I'm sorry if I caused you pain.
I'm sorry if I upset you.
I've definitely seen this especially from,
you know, the covert narcissist and in my life.
Oh, I'm sorry if I upset you.
You're already telling them that you're upset
but they say I'm sorry if I caused any issues with your family.
You know it's almost like not really acknowledging like it's a
devaluing of whatever issues there were cause like
as they're sort of apologizing.
It's sort of basically saying
I don't know what there would have been any issue about
or if there was an issue or it's almost a devaluing of whatever your emotional issue was with it
as they're apologizing,
and to me that is an emotionally manipulative
apology because it's passive aggressive as they're apologizing.
Which of course covert narcissists are very very good at.
So don't buy it guys.
Don't buy it.
Don't buy these emotionally manipulative apologies
and if you're not going to buy it,
I want you to put not buying it in the comments below.
Not buying it.
No, thank you
and if you guys have seen other forms of emotionally manipulative apologies,
I would love to see what they were in the comments below.
Can't wait to read those and if you're negotiating with narcissist,
go ahead and grab that free ebook that I offer
at winmynegotiation.com.
Just go ahead and grab that.
winmynegotiation.com
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I'm so glad that you're here. If you're ready to slay,
give me a slay and just remember to never give in, never give up
Today's a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I'm Rebecca Zung
and I am so glad you're I hear and I will definitely see you in the next video.