You know those moments happen where you really do feel alone. Even when you're
around a bunch of people. But do you understand what is really happening and
what to do next? That's what today's training is all about.
Have you're at those moments where you really really feel like you're alone? But
wait a minute, there's people, all right? You could call someone, people, somebody
could come over. And maybe even had the moment where you've been sitting amongst
people and you literally on the inside feel completely alone. But you're amongst
people. Like what? What's going on there? Like what's happening there?
Now, for me, what happened to me was I started to have those thoughts and
feelings of being alone as I'm sitting at dinner with my family. One time I was
even at this big gathering, there's a thousand people there. I'm sitting
amongst a thousand people and I heard myself say on the inside, "Wow, I feel
completely all by myself here." But that just seems really strange. How can a
person have that feeling but yet be around people but really the next
question is, "Is it real or what is going on?" Now, if you've had that feeling before
or you've talked to a friend who has expressed a feeling like this, I want to
make sense for you what's going on here. And also give you some solutions of what
to do to change that feeling. Because a person who feels alone, that's... That can
create a lot of sadness for that person. And sadness can literally slow you down
and keep you from taking action in your life. It can slow you down to the point
where you wonder why even do anything? Well, I even do anything at all. Does it
even matter. So if you've talked to somebody order this maybe you that this
is happening to, this is perfect for you. It's a good time for us to talk and for
me to have a chance to explain to you what I figured out that is going on. Over
the years, I have been mentoring and when I say mentoring that means, I help people
get from where they're at to where they want to be. And I find that, this feeling
of being alone is quite common. And it's really interesting because you look at
people and it's like, "Oh, that person say they feel a loner. Look at that
husband and wife and neither one of them would say that they're alone." But
actually you'd be surprised. You know a spouse in a marriage will say that
they're alone. You know, a person who works on a team at the office, will say
that they're alone. So, something must be going on because visually, it looks like
they're with people. But on the inside, it's a feeling. There's some kind of
feeling going on. There's something happening that's generating this kind of
experience. So, as I don't in to this to figure this out, one thing we need to
start out with to understand this experience is that each one of us... This
is you or me. This? I'll just say it's you. This is you. Around you, you have a
personal space. And you know how when somebody gets too close to you and you
feel it like, "Oh." You know like they're just way too close and you might even
say to them, "You're in my personal space." Well, each one of us have a personal
space. And that personal space border moves. It moves. It's like, "What if you put
like a bubble around me?" So, this circle represents a bubble around me. So
let's say my personal space is this big around me. It's like this far all the way
around me. Up over my head all the way around me. And I got this bubble around
me. And if you crossed, like if you walked up to me and you stepped inside that
personal space, I would probably step back, right? Because
you're crossing my personal space. So, here's my personal space line. If I like
myself, my personal space line will actually move. If I don't like myself,
then my personal space line will also move. So, wait a minute. If I think in a
positive way, my space will move and I think at a
negative my space will move, yeah. Either way, it'll
cause my personal space to open up or it will cause it to shrink down. So, my
thoughts being positive or negative about myself or about other people, my
personal space will change and adjust based upon how I think. And then that
personal space border affects how I feel. So let's say I really like myself and
I'm feeling pretty confident and you know, I'm doing good and I get up when my
alarm clock goes off. And I did my exercises and I ate really healthy
yesterday and I'm feeling pretty good. You know and I got my to-do list and I
got all everything done yesterday. Well, because I'm feeling so good, my
personal space actually opens up further. Like it opens up so that actually, it's
okay for people to come in. I'm not like keeping people out but I actually want
to open up and allow people to be around me. Now, if I don't like myself and I'm
unhappy with what's going on. And I didn't do what I said I would do, that
personal space actually can closed down on me. And get closer or squish down on
me. And when that personal space comes in because I'm thinking down about myself,
it closes in really really close to me. And it generates a feeling of being by
myself. Because there's no room for any other person to be around me or be with
me. Because that personal space just closed down. And so then it creates this
feeling of there's not any room for somebody to be close to me. So, there's no
room for people. Then our mind interprets that as I'm alone. Because there's no
room for people. So, our thoughts move this space to open up to have people
connect to us and us to be around people. And we love being around people and we
like people and we like ourselves. And and this space is like, "Wow, I feel
connected. I feel like I have people and relationships and friends." But it's based
upon how I think. And when I think down or I'm unsure of myself, then it closes
down and then there's no room for anybody. Then that sensation or feeling
of "I'm by myself. There's nobody else in here." Then that's why you think and feel
that you're alone. So wow. What do you do? Right? Like, so now your space has closed
down and you're going, "Yeah, I've been thinking down about myself and yeah, I'm
not happy. I'm very unsure about what I'm doing and how I'm doing things, Kirk. And
yeah, that's true. I do feel that like I'm the only person by myself. And I do
feel alone." So, that. So there you are. You're in this space. Well number 1 is
recognizing what is really happening. And that's why when you're around a bunch of
people, you you can't even feel like you're around people because your
personal space is so tight against you, there's no room for somebody to talk to.
Even if somebody was talking to you. You still feel alone. Because there's no
room. There's no room right here. Okay, so what do you do? Well, if you hear the
instructions I'm giving you based upon the way you think, it moves this the way
you think. So, the reason why it closed down on you is because you're thinking
down about yourself. And things haven't gone the way you've wanted them to go.
And things didn't turn out the way you thought they're going to turn out. And so,
your space is closed down. If you're ready to make a change, this is what you
do. You get a pad of paper and you begin writing a gratitude list.
What are some things that you're thankful for? And it can be anything. You
could write a thank-you list that goes, "I'm thankful for Cheerios. You know, I'm
thankful for toast, I'm thankful for the wind, I'm thankful for the sunshine,
I'm thankful for toilet paper, I'm thankful for bathrooms, I'm thankful for
socks, I'm thankful for..." And it could be anything at all. But every grateful
thought opens up this space. Because when we think grateful thoughts, things that
we're thankful for, we begin to appreciate or we begin to care about
things. And so it slowly starts to open up this personal space. And sometimes, we
only want that personal space to go about this far because it just feels a
little new, right? A little uncomfortable feeling open. Now, let's say somebody hurt
you, they said something mean to you, they cut you down, they've been critical with
you but some kind of hurt has happened to you. Well, there's some time that needs
to happen for that recovery to go through. So there's no rushing this.
There's no rushing this. You can take this as very small steps. But the number
1 way that I've been able to move my personal space back to opening up, so I
don't feel so alone. Because alone is a little dangerous. If you start to have
feelings of being alone, you could get to the point that you wonder why you're
alive. And then you might start thinking of ways to end your life. And you don't
want to go there. And if you are there, boy, get on the phone with a friend or a
family member as soon as possible. And just tell them how you're feeling.
Tell them what's going on. But if you're alone, if you feel alone for too long, you
start to wonder why you even matter, why you should you even exist anymore. And so
it's dangerous. So if you're thinking, "I'll... I'm totally fine." No. After a while,
it gets dangerous. So, whenever I feel alone, there's a moment of
like feeling and recovery from somebody being mean or hurtful to me. But then I
know I've got to open this up a little bit. I got to get away from the danger
zone of this. And a gratitude list. Just of any thing at all. I'm thankful for
grass, I'm thankful for the mountains, for rivers, for streams, for water. Anything.
But you start making this list and what you want to do is to find like maybe 10
things a day. Just 10 new things a day of things that you're grateful for. And
each day, your space will start to open up a little bit more. You'll start to
move out. But just little bits by a little bit. And what you'll feel and your
feeling will start to change. Your confidence with every small step up, you
start to feel more confident. And you'll notice that the next time you're around
people, you actually don't feel alone. You can feel a little bit of that connection
for people. And it's a good feeling. It can feel different. If you've been in
the lone stage for a long time and you start to open up? Oh, my goodness. It can
feel pretty wild and crazy. But it's just small amounts. But get yourself away from
that danger zone of being alone and having that feeling of alone for too
long. But gratitude list will begin to build that. And then, this is my favorite
list, It's so crazy but it's so good, it's so good. It's I like myself because. And I
know, I know it's going to seem weird but it's so good to be able to start
creating you have your gratitude, right? Of 10 things you're grateful for. But
then there's these 5. Just 5 each day. 5 things that you like about
yourself. And it doesn't have to be about your personality, your characteristics. It
can be, I like my toes, I like my fingers. Oh but you just find these little
tiny parts about who you are and you're making this small simple little list and
like 1 or 2 days of creating a list like that, just
changes that feeling. You know that really deep down kind of dark feeling. It
starts to add light to it. And really, within 1 to 2 days, you can start to
feel different. You can make that change. Okay, so here's step 3. So you got
gratitude list. See if you can find 10. A second one, 5 things you like
about yourself. Number 3, go outside into nature. Go for a walk. Go for a walk.
And where there's trees or maybe where there's some water or if you can walk
through some grass. That always helps. But if you're in a big city and there's no
trees or grass or water like that, make sure you're safe but go for a walk. When
moving your body, just moving changes your energy of who you are. And it helps
start to build some energy, some life force. And it can start to move that
space back out so you can be in the safe zone. When it's down and close to you,
that's a danger zone. Don't stay there very long. So number 1, a gratitude list.
Number 2, what you like about yourself. Number 3, go outside for like a 10
minute walk. 5 minutes out, 5 minutes back. Super easy. Super, super easy.
But a little bit of movement and outside activity, it's a very natural process of
generating energy that helps build your life force. And that will start to move
your personal space out. Now, you're the one who gets to decide how far that goes.
It doesn't open up faster or bigger than what you want. Because you want to still
feel safe. But if you can open it up to about this far, just from here to here.
Just that much. That's enough room to feel like you can
connect to people. That's about a human being space right there.
Not that somebody's going to get in that space. But that you're okay talking to
people. Having conversation with the person or being
out in public and you actually feel like you're part of the human race. But this
works. And if you clicked on this video and you're watching this video, you know
what I'm talking about when I say that when that energy space is really close.
Your personal space is really tight against you. You feel it. You almost can't
breathe. And it feels heavy doesn't it? Okay, that's not some place you want to
stay for a long time. You don't want to be there very long. So, a gratitude list
about anything. A list about yourself. Things that you like and just if you
find a couple of those. And go for a 5 or a 10 minute walk. And just build that
back out. So, you get yourself out of that danger zone. And if your friend is
somebody that you're watching this video for, just help them take some small steps
and get them out of that danger zone. Because when it's tight and they feel
completely alone, it's getting heavy and they don't know what to do. So share
this with a friend or go write down what I just taught you. And go talk to them.
But don't let them or yourself stay there too much longer. You're not meant
to be in that heavy dark place. You're a very talented, brilliant person. And it's
okay to open up this space to feel connected. That's where you really want
to be. So take the steps and I'm glad I was here for you today. I'm glad it's now
here to help make sense for you like what's going on. So for you, the next step
is to see that space opening up. And something else to do click and subscribe
to these videos. Because there's more coming to you. I've got a lot of great
insight to share with you because I care about where you're at I don't care about
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Because it will help you understand life in a lot better way.