- Happy Valentine's day - Happy Vale...
- Happy Valentine's day. - Happy Valentine's day
Welcome back to AMA.
Before we dive into this spicy episode,
we have a quick announcement.
- That is right. We have a brand new episode
of our podcast, Radical Empathy.
It's live right now. Give it a listen.
It's about intimacy and relationships and
- And porn.
- Yeah. It's about porn.
So check it out, give it a listen and enjoy this episode.
- Bye guys.
- My favorite thing has become ball busting.
It's where someone really is dying to get their,
their nuts smashed.
- What? - Yeah.
- No.
(intense music)
- [John] Some topics are hard to approach.
- Welcome to my office.
- [John] Either the subjects are inaccessible
or people are uncomfortable discussing them.
So we found those subjects in person, rented a space
in LA and invited strangers to come and ask them anything.
(music continues)
- Hi, my name is Princess Marx.
I am a professional dominatrix
and I'm here to answer any questions folks might have
about that.
Oh, so we don't see each other at all.
- Nope.
- You're in for a ride.
- I saw an episode of CSI Las Vegas, a dominatrix
in it's, I know a little bit, but could you describe just
like what, what it is that you do?
- So, I'm a professional dominatrix.
And what that means is that people generally come
to me to experience a power exchange, to experience
a session or a scene in which I am the dominant
and they're the submissive. Play can be everything
from light to heavy.
Heavy play might include whips and chains and stuff.
You know, then there's also like
they might like being encased
in like a full leather body bag
and just feeling that feeling of enclosure.
- Whoa. - But they're not gonna be
into any like sort of pain stuff. (chuckles)
Does that sound intense? - Yeah.
- In your experience,
what has been the majority of your clients?
- Girly, I love this one because I really love
to dispel the myth.
I think many people think that the only kinds
of people who seek the services of a professional dominatrix
are like high powered alpha males.
And that's not all the case.
You know, a, I see some women, I see some couples.
I see some people who are students.
Some people save up the whole year to see me for two hours,
you know, which I really appreciate.
And I think many people see it as an integral part of their
like mental health and their sexual health, which, the two
of which are intertwined and they make efforts to make sure
that they can do it in their life.
- Do you use like apparatuses
or a lot of props in your work?
- I actually have some props here.
Would you like to take a look at some?
- I'm kind of nervous now.
Like I'm never actually touch anything like this before.
- Oh, fun. I'm passing it underneath.
- Ooh. Oh
- It's okay. It won't bite.
- All right. It won't, it looks like it will bite me.
- It won't, this is a traditional flogger.
You can hit someone kind of hard with it
but you can also just caress someone's back
and it feels like very sensual.
- All right. So how do I...
- So let me tell you what it is first. Yeah?
- So it goes like, oh wow.
- There you go. Look at that, beware of your environment.
- It's kind of fun. - It's a lot of fun.
That's why it's supposedly my favorite.
- I dunno if you ever use it on a person,
but it's fun to swing it around.
- Well, if someone is begging you to use it
on them and like really, really wants you
and like would pay you to use it on them.
- Ooh.
- When you hear the whip crack,
it's actually doing like a mini Sonic boom.
So it's actually breaking the sound barrier.
- Oh.
- So that's, so that's, sorry.
- Do you hit people with the whip?
- Yeah. - And like,
is it the tip that's hitting them?
I'm assuming not at that speed.
- It is. - Oh.
- You know, you see like in movies
and someone will be getting flogged
with something like that,
and like after the second stroke, they're bleeding.
- Yeah. - Completely unrealistic.
It's more of a thud, you know? - Gotcha.
- Is there a specialty or is there something
that you're known for?
Like, you're the person for a specific thing?
- My favorite thing has become ball busting and that
- What is, what is, what is that?
- Yeah, probably cringing.
It's where someone really is dying to get their,
their nuts smashed.
- What? - Yeah.
- No. Oh no. Oh my God. - Yeah.
- What do you, how do you do that?
- Well, I, my preferred method is kicking.
Like that's. - Oh, no.
- I know, I know. It sounds so harsh.
- What? Oh my gosh.
- Maybe I should just give you a minute to like adjust
to the reality.
- This is crazy to me.
I've just been kicked in the nuts really hard before
and I can never imagine wanting that.
- Right. I would never do that to you
as a result because you don't like it.
People have a hard time understanding
that this other person is
is really desiring to be physically hurt.
But if you're able to have a conversation with a person
and really establish like, that is what they want, you know,
it may be, may or may not become easier for you.
I don't know.
- What do you think is the biggest stereotype other than,
you know, like I personally heard
that it's like all just sex work
and I know you guys don't have any penetration
from my point of understanding.
- Oh my gosh. Yeah, there's like,
that's like a can of worms.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Maybe the biggest one is that it's all kind
of whips and chains and pain, but what's fundamental
to my work and to essentially BDSM and kink in general
whether in a professional or personal context is consent.
And so, - Yeah.
- Generally the way that any scene works is the submissive
and the dominant have a negotiation.
So you're not playing, you're not in senior, equals.
- Yeah. - And you discuss your
interests and what you're comfortable with
and what you're not comfortable with.
And I really wish that we could take that
like negotiation into like mainstream and vanilla life.
'Cause I think it would like go such a long way
towards like preventing any
of the like consent violation issues we've always had,
you know.
- How do you feel about seeing like married men?
- You know, that's a really good question
because it used to really trouble me and bother me.
I had a really hard time kind of grappling
with the fact that people were coming
to me and they weren't letting their partners know.
And then I remembered that like I had broken up
with someone I dated for three years
because like I was kinky in my personal life
and I wanted to do kinky things in bed and
and this person wanted to do them only once a month
or something as a concession.
And I only wanted to do vanilla sex like once
a month as a concession.
But I think not everyone is
in a position to break up with someone just
because this one part of them is unsatisfied.
And so I think many people make kind
of concessions or compromises when they decide to marry.
And so it really kind of changed my perspective
on that because these folks are not going out
and like having relationships with other people.
And I think we underestimate how important this part
of us is. It, it's a need.
And it's a really big part of like who we are.
- What does your family think about like your profession?
- That's a great question.
My mom passed away before I began.
My dad does not know. My sister totally knows.
And she's super supportive.
- You say your dad doesn't know.
Was that something that was by choice
or it just hasn't come up in conversation yet?
- No, definitely by choice.
It's like coming out of any kind.
Like you tell people when you're ready
and when you think they're ready
and I think he would honestly, I think he'd be fine.
So I'm not too worried about it, but I also like don't feel
like dropping a bomb in our relationship and
I think I'll come out to him when the time is right for me.
- Got you. - Yeah.
- Have you ever, you know, felt unsafe?
- I've actually mostly had a really good experience.
- Good. - I think the internet
actually allows us to have a wall
between us and other people who might be interested
in harming us and it allows people to
to screen their potential clients.
And it allows you to like set out what your protocols are.
And so for me, it's like, if you don't follow the protocol,
you will not get to see me, period.
I don't know if you've heard anything about FOSTA-SESTA.
- I haven't. - It was a law
that was passed in April of 2018
that criminalizes third party like communication platforms,
so for example, Instagram or Twitter or whatever,
if they are seen to be facilitating anything that looks
like sex work.
There's a big difference between sex trafficking and
and people who are consensually doing sex work
and the law doesn't make that distinction.
And the impact it ended up having is that it forced a lot
of people who were previously online to go back
to working offline and maybe working on the street
which is inherently more dangerous.
And there have been a few deaths as a direct result
of people going offline and going back on the street.
- So what do you think are some of the benefits of being
a Dom?
- What was initially appealing to me
and still remains appealing is
that it feels like politically satisfying.
You know, like even as a somewhat empowered woman
like you walk through the world and
and you're disempowered, like constantly nonstop.
For example, I am a refugee,
there are members of my family who for example
are housekeepers. While I have a need to have a clean house
and I don't have a lot of time,
I have a difficult time with thinking
of having a housekeeper who is more
than likely going to be another immigrant woman
because it kind of reminds me
of having my aunt in my house and cleaning for me.
And so being a dominatrix,
I have usually older affluent white men
at my disposal who are not only more
like not only begging me to clean my house
but willing to pay for the privilege.
So it feels like a kind of political and economic justice
because they're also paying for the privilege.
- Has your life changed at all?
Or like the way you walk around,
has anything changed, the way you interact
with people or confidence or anything?
- Oh God, yeah. So prior to being a Pro-dom,
I was always very shy around people who were older than me.
So it wasn't just men.
It was older women as well.
And I think what this has allowed me to do actually
is interact with older people, with the kind
of confidence that I've felt around my own peers
or the kind of confidence that I feel on the inside.
- I feel some of that same stuff
about with older people at jobs and stuff.
I feel like I got life advice just now.
So, I always appreciate that. - Awesome.
All right. I offer coaching,
look me up on my website website.
- Oh, really?
(Princess Marx laughs)
- I encourage you to reach out if you like.
- Cool, that's my next job offer.
(both laughing)
- Thanks for watching guys.
My name is Princess Marx.
Feel free to look me up and I hope you enjoyed it.
- Don't forget to comment below
what you thought of the video.
Make suggestions for future videos
and we hope to see you next time.
- Bye.
(music fades)