Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and I am
Officially Back! Yes! YES! YEAAAH!
Back in more ways than one. I am back in LA, my
voice is BACK in commission, I am BACK from
Christmas vacation, and my hair is BACK to its
normal color! And I know what you're all thinking.
I hear it being screamed into the comment section
below right along side all those spambots, "Why?
Why? Why? WHY? OH GOD FUCKING WHY IS YOUR
HAIR NOT RED?"
And I know that's a perfectly logical and, and...
*gunshot* (oml be careful you perfect person)
Oops.
...and reasonable question to ask, but yes, my hair
is back to its original color. And no, it didn't all
grow out, it is actually been dyed back to my
original color. It's a pretty good job. You can still
see a little bit of red through there but I am very
happy to be back in my natural hair colour. And to
answer the question "Why?" so when I dyed it back
in September of 2015, last - last year I can say now
I did it for the charity stream because we raised a
certain amount of money, I dyed my hair bright pink
because that's what I promised, uh and I kept it, I-I kept
it because I thought it looked good. I didn't care
what anybody said, I looked fucking great, I looked
amazing with it, and I really liked it, and I kept it for
another, a few other personal reasons, and I thought
it was really good, but I'd never intended it to be a
permanent fixture. I didn't even intended for it to be
there for like a year. It was really interesting
because in the past year, I've been to a couple of
my friend's weddings, and now, forever, when I look
back at those wedding photos, I'm gonna see me
in bright red hair, so, that's a thing that's gonna be
there for eternity and forever. But I'd always
intended to go back to my original hair colour
because, #1, and anyone who has coloured hair
knows this, it's a fucking nightmare to maintain. You
would not believe the shit you have to do just to
keep your hair a bright, vibrant, fucking red!
Like my god, it's obscene, you have to go like every
month to get it touched up, and then for like a few
days after that, your hair just bleeds out red
everywhere, stains absolutely everything in your
house, and in my house, I'm an idiot enough that I
have white towels!! What kind of?? I haven't even
bought red towels in the entire year that I've had red
hair! I have not BOUGHT RED TOWELS! What kind of idiot
am I?! I'm an adult! Aah! Fuck!
Anyways, so, there's a number of other reasons why
I wanted to go back, but I'm very happy to be back to
my original colour, and eventually it will all grow out
and then just be all natural and not dyed black. So,
those are the reasons to quell those thoughts, yes I
know, it's jarring and I'm wearing glasses again,
what's up with that? It's a new year and I've got a lot
of things that I'm committed to, but I'll get to that in
a second, we've got more important things. YAY!
16 million! WOOHOO! Okay, alright, that's enough
celebrating, that was exactly the amount of
celebrating quota to do. So I have an idea, it's my
sweet 16, and I don't know how creepy that sounds
but, yeh so that's the theme, okay, that's the theme
of this. So basically, we're at 16 million subscribers
and I found a little test, it's called the Mental Age
Test, and what it does is you answer a few
questions and it determines what your "mental age"
is, so I'm a 27 year old man, adult man, and I have a
little wager to put against this, because people seem
to think that I'm an immature man baby.
People have called me as such on the internet
But I'm (ow) I am an mature adult
And I know exactly what I'm doing in my life
So, here's the wager
If - IF - If
IF
I take this test
And it says that my mental age
is sixteen or lower
I will allow Tyler and Ethan
to subject me with whatever punishment they deem worthy
And I will accept it, no matter what it is
They are - I'm writing a blank cheque
to them
to torture me in whatever way they see fit
it could be mental torture, it could be physical torture
it could be the tennis ball launcher to the balls
which is an option on the table because I'm confident
that I am a mature - I don't know why I'm laughing -
I am a mature adult
with maTURE THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD
If it's sixteen or lower, they are gonna torture me
If it's seventeen and up, I'm good
If it's 27 on the dot
*screaming into the distance* I'LL GET ONE BILLION SUBSCRIBERS !!!
ok, so this the mental age test
and it's pretty simple,
there's 20 statements, the answers are multiple choice
your first answer is your final answer
statements are selected at random
millions of people have taken this test
so the stakes are pretty high
and the average age is actually 23
so I got a pretty good chance of walking outta here with my testicles intact
HUEHEHAHAHE
HABOO- ok
the best thing on tv is...
oh boy... there's never anything good on tv
I hope that means I'm an old man
You've forgotten where you put your keys... OHHH NOOO
literally aLWAYS
twice already today oh no - I'M OLD! i'M OLD AND FORGETFUL!
I'M AN OLD MAN!
You read Apple have launched a new iPhone, you think...
ah fuck i got this one as soon as it came out
I'm an asshole
Birthdays are... BULLSHIT
I don't want any presents
I don't want anything to happen on my birthday
if-if I can do anything I'm gonna spend my birthday on someone else!
Something to ignore, THANK YOU
because i'm aN OLD MAN that has had too many birthdays
You find an old shirt in the wardrobe. You...
can't believe you ever wore that and throw it out
keep it for decorating / consider giving it to charity / put it on / wonder how you ever managed to fit in it
*laughing* Wardr- yeah, uh, wardrobe?
I dont know what you're talking about
You get passed on the motorway by a Ferrari. You think...
*deep voice* Bet the driver is a wanker
Actually, what I think is they'll not get there any quicker
Which I'm pretty sure is an old man thought
You finish your meal in a restaurant. You...
doodle-doo-doo-doo
Make sure you go to the toilet before you leave, order coffee, empty the tray into the bin
Ask whether a tip is included, wonder which pub to go to
I-I'm a - I'm a cleanly, studious patron of a restaurant
And I always make sure my tray is clean
Twitter is... *groan of frustration*
Twitter is essential, for me
for me I can't answer that not essential
McDonald's is... oh no OH GOD NO
People are gonna judge me UAHHAAAAHHH
I eat more McDonald's than I should, everytime I go there
which is more often that it should, I feel awful but I
but i go. OK for a quick snack
I cant- You're planning a house party. You...
think about telling your neighbors - well this is - I don't plan parties
so this is not me
Think about telling your neighbors, find out where the cheapest vodka is, make a list of people *start laughing* you aren't going to invite
Plan out which games to play
Yeah- I'm just going to think abou all the people I'm not going to invite because - I
I don't know where the not do this option is - eugh
Alright, you see someone fall over on the street do you...
Run over to make sure they're ok
yeah thats probably me
the best way to become rich is too... work hard
Baseball caps look better... FORWARDS
Dire Straits were... oh boy
.....*nervous* uh *nervous laugh* I DON'T KNOW
I'm not good with music
I'm not musically inclined
uh... who? I don't know who that is!
Politically you are... uh, Liberal?
You think a pension plan is...
Not what you though it would be, important, something worth considering, something for later
uh, it's important
INVEST EARLY KIDS
This is an old man thing to say
It's hot, you want an icecream. You buy...
A Magnum? You-you-you-you buy a you buy a Magnum?
a m- a m- tHIS?
is this what you buy?
on a hot summer day?
An ice lolly... I'm beginning to think that this might be a British test
I'm guessing that this is like a fruit.. popsicle type thing? so I'll- I'll go with that one
Your Prime Minister/President looks... he look-he looks ALRIGHT - OLD
Miley Cyrus is like, so over
a bit racy, quite good looking, everything that's wrong with kids today, a victim
these are none of the choices that I want to answer
uh, like so over? I havent heard about Miley Cyrus in a while
then again, I don't look
The iPad is... cooooooooooool?
And that's it! And my age -OH GOD NO
WHAT!?
SEVEN???
*high-pitched scream* THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT
I AM A MATURE ADULT!!!
I AM A MATURE ADULT!!
Oh God! *laughing*
Oh noo!
Oh noo! *laughing*
Heugh, maybe there's like a two hidden here?
Heh, is there like,
Some sort of 2?
So that punishment...
It's going to be in another video, because Ethan isn't home yet
I'm gonna call him
*phone ringing*
Mark: oh boy
*phone ringing*
Mark: Hey, are you busy right now?
Ethan: uh...
Ethan: I'm at...
Ethan: you're upside down
Mark: YOU're upside down
Ethan: yeah what's up?
Mark: okay so I'm recording a video and I was recording a video to celebrate 16 million
So I had this bet.
There's the Mental Age Test, which is like you answer questions and it determines your age
So I said - I said, if-if it said my mental age was 16 and under
I would let you and Tyler pick whatever punishment you want on me
And uh, I said if it was 17 or over, I'd be totally fine.
Um...
It said I was... I had a mental age of 7
*Ethan laughs*
*Mark laughs*
Yeah. So, when you get here, tomorrow,
Ethan: Yeah
Mark: decide what to do and then...
Go easy on me
Ethan: *laughing*
I got a mental age of 7. I don't know how!
I thought I was answering old people's answers!
Wha-How am I horrible?!
I can't help that!
*Mark laughs*
I know! I think it was bugged.
I'm not sure.
Thank youuuu.
I think.
Bye!
Byeee!
Maybe I could try it again.. Maybe..
Maybe I could try it again!
Not really much that could-- Yup. Okay. Alright.
Well. *clicks tongue*
Seven's what it is... Unless that's a joke!
I don't know.
So anyway, that is that and
we will do that and that is cool that that
is happening!
But bottomline is thank you everybody for 16 million subscribers.
That is an astonishing number of people.
I'm just grateful that every day I get to make videos for you guys.
I can't wait to get through this year.
Some of the uh, I'll go over really quickly some of the..
New Years resolutions that I got for the entirety of this year,
are to work out every day.
For an hour.
And then to practice guitar for an hour every day.
Also to learn German-- or practicing learning German.
An hour. Every day.
And that's three hours of my life dedicated to improving myself
And getting myself back on schedule.
And so far it's been good! It's been really good.
But we'll see how it goes once I'm in LA making videos full time again.
Either way, thank you everybody so much for being here with me
and thank you so much for watching for so long.
Thank you again for watching this video and look forward to the punishment
VERY, VERY soon.
Thanks again and as always,
I will see you
in the next video!
Buh-bye!