- We're all gonna die anyway.
So, why not try 42-year-old chocolate?
- Let's talk good about that.
(upbeat music)
Good Mythical Summer.
- You know, the older you get, the more important it is
to add self-care to your routine.
For example, I have an intricate stretch routine
that I perform every morning, right when I roll out of bed.
Even the specific way that I roll out of bed is
part of the routine.
- Yeah, and you like to talk
about it a lot. - I do.
- But never share the routine
with anybody. - It's my little secret now.
- Well, for my self-care routine,
I like to eat snacks that are older than me
so that I can feel good about my age.
- Well, you about to feel real good,
because we have 70-year-old popcorn.
It's time for "To Be Discontinued:
More, More, More, More, More, More Snacks Edition".
- Once again, we have lined the pockets of the good people
who post old food on eBay.
I'm talking discontinued snacks.
And as we do, we're gonna try each old
and discontinued snack and decide
if the companies that made them originally should
bring it back, or nah, that's whack.
- And first up, we've got caramel apple-filled Twizzlers.
- You remember these?
- This was a seasonal product that came out
in the fall of 2014.
And this particular package expired on April, 2018.
And we got it for $64.98.
The value goes up with these, so invest in Twizzlers now.
- Good gracious. What is that on the packaging?
It looks like a cactus.
- This is my theory.
Now of course, you already know about like a candy apple,
like a granny smith apple that's got caramel on it.
I think they were trying to capture the essence of that,
and they put a Twizzler skin on an apple
to make it look like,
'cause the Twizzlers have like grooves in them.
- Well, that's a totally different idea.
- But it made it look like a watermelon.
- I mean, it looks like something that Shrek would pull
out of his back fat folds and give out at Halloween.
I love Shrek. - Yeah, yeah.
- Great movie. - You've really been
into Shrek lately. - Try it again.
Second's one's- - [Rhett] Right up top-
- Even better, I think.
- The fact that Twizzlers have a hole in the middle
that's just been waiting to be filled.
- The interesting thing is,
these are less calories than a normal Twizzler.
- 'Cause they're like an inch-and-a-half long.
- Oh.
- I mean, I don't think it has anything to do-
- I mean.
- I think there's more calories per inch, just like me.
- It still looks good.
- Oh, you're into it.
- I mean, 2018, I don't approach this with caution.
- It definitely has the consistency of chewing caulk.
- It kind of tastes like caulk.
- You never gnaw like the, where your sink meets the wall?
That's caulk.
- The inside of this Twizzler tastes like caulk.
- Is that what I said?
I didn't even think about it.
- You really got to hit the L.
- Caulk. - Caulk.
- I can't with a Twizzler in my mouth.
- I think you almost gotta make it two syllables.
- With a Twizzler-
- The inside of this Twizzler tastes like caulk.
You gotta hit, caulk.
- For that reason alone-
- I like it. I like caulk.
- For that reason alone, I think we should bring it back.
- Yeah!
- Bring back the caulk!
- That's exactly what I was thinking.
- Caulk-filled Twizzler. - [Rhett] Caramel apple
filled caulk Twizzlers, bring it back!
- Next up, we have Hulk Cereal,
released by Post in 2003 as a promotional item
for the 2003 movie "The Hulk".
- The Hulk.
- Let's see if this cereal will make us burst
out of our jeans.
- "The Hulk", starring Eric, is is Banner or Bana?
- Eric Bana, Eric Bana. - Bana.
- You can see him right there on the back, right there.
And of course, here's swole Shrek, as I like to call him.
- It's Shrek without the back fat.
- Really, it's like a more veiny Shrek.
- He might be able to get a Twizzler
inside one of those vein ridges.
And that would be gross.
- Could you do some sort of like Shrek swap
where it's like the Hulk replaces him?
Or he at least becomes the Hulk-?
- Well, what if that was who the Hulk was?
What if that's who the Hulk was?
Instead of a man that turned into a green monster,
it was just Shrek that turned into Hulk?
Would we be into it in the same way?
- We would be into it more.
The 2003 "Hulk" with Eric Bana got 62% on Rotten Tomatoes.
The 2008, so only five years later,
they rebooted "The Hulk" with Ed Norton, Edward Norton.
- I was a big fan
of the Ed Norton one. - The acclaimed actor,
67% on Rotten Tomatoes, before you got the Ruffalo.
All right, kind of my thing.
- [Rhett] And then what was Ruffalo?
- He didn't get his own movie.
- He's only been part of the ensemble cast?
I hadn't realized that he's never had his own "Hulk" movie.
- Yeah, 'cause they kind of been there done that
too many times. - Right, yeah.
- I think it was, I think it was a really strong choice.
- You can only dip into that cereal so many times.
Okay, we got
a Lucky Charms situation. - What kind of cereal is this?
I mean, it definitely has,
it has a beaker of radioactive liquid.
- The actual like big brown things.
- Corn pops. - [Rhett] What's that supposed
to be?
Is that like Hulk boogers?
- I think it's corn pops.
- But, they're misshapen. They're like mutant pops.
Those are so like irregular.
- Yeah, kind of like Eric Bana's career.
- Oh!
What's the last thing that Bana did?
- Yeah, exactly, this.
- Somebody look up the most recent entry on Bana's-
- Dink it. - IMDb.
- And sink it.
- Oh, the crunch is gone.
- [Stevie] Matt Carney is a big fan of him,
and "Dry" is the name. - "The Dry"?
- Is that good? - [Stevie] Just "Dry".
- This is not-
- [Stevie] He would like to emphasize it's just "Dry".
- No, but it says-
- This is soaked in milk and it's still dry and mushy.
- It says "The Dry". - [Stevie] Well-
- And then, he played a guy named Aaron Falk,
which is almost like Aaron Caulk.
- Oh, Falk! - You can't get away
from it!
- [Stevie] I think that Matt Carney disagrees
with the title that you're reading,
even if that's correct. - You're saying
that IMDb is wrong? - [Stevie] Yes.
He's stating that.
- I think it's called "The Dry Caulk".
- Have you seen our IMDb,
and you think IMDBs are always right?
- Yeah.
- Your picture.
- That's still me. - It is you.
- I mean, it's still my picture.
You're talking about the one when I had like,
the pink shirt from "Online Nation"?
That's not my picture. - Do you like this or not?
- You have something on your lip that did not come
from the cereal, which is concerning me.
Like, it's dark brown.
There's nothing on this cereal that's dark brown.
And you took one bite of it,
and you have a dark brown, like, mole-shaped thing.
- Can you see it?
The people can see it?
- You got something, you got some Bana on your lip.
You got some dry Bana caulk
on your lip from eating this thing.
Hey, I've got to say- - Just make a decision.
- I'll clean it- - It tasted good.
- If we can get through this segment, I'll clean it off.
- It tasted good,
but it's not bringing anything new to the cereal game.
It had its moment in the sun, just like Bana, so.
- Rebooting Hulk is always a mistake
unless it's in an ensemble.
This is never gonna work.
- The Hulk cereal,
nah, that's whack. - Nah, that's whack.
Quick reminder, episode eight of "Ronstadt",
the scripted podcast,
yes, it is an audio experience of immersive story
for your ears, starring us.
It's out now.
Ronstadt and Hattie put together a plan
to take on the shadow monsters.
But, do they stand a chance?
You got to find out.
Check out "Ronstadt" wherever you get your podcasts.
You know how to do that, right?
And also, make sure you follow us
so you don't miss an episode,
Mythical.com/Ronstadt.
- Okay, this is interesting.
This teardrop water bottle was released by Evian in 1999,
in celebration of the millennium.
Because I mean, everybody's favorite drink
on New Year's Eve is water! - Water!
- Okay, let's see how this tastes.
- It looks like an eye dropper for Shrek.
- Yeah. Let's keep the Shrek going.
Maybe more of an enema, Shrek enema.
- Oh.
- That you can't pull, a very dangerous enema,
that if you were to, 'cause it's,
oh, that motion was very unpleasant for me.
I don't know how you would get the water out,
because if you, because Shrek would squeeze it,
and it could break.
And then, we've got a real problem.
- I mean- - We've got a real problem
with Shrek.
- We paid $47.55 for this thing.
- Lots of crazy stuff going on back in 1999.
We all thought the world was gonna end on Y2K.
And they were like,
"Well, maybe we should have a teardrop bottle."
Or maybe, they thought that this would be some sort of tool
that would get us through the computer crash.
- Don't! Oh, you spoiled it.
You spoiled the illusion of the teardrop.
- I can't put this in my mouth
without thinking about the fact that it's already been
in Shrek's butt hole.
- I thought that this was a pull cord
to like pop something off,
but it just got a lot less exciting.
Of course, there's no fizz- - Oh, you pour it into this.
That's what it is.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I mean, it looks like
something that you put dish detergent in for dosing.
- I think it's so that you dose the water correctly.
That's all I get, or you get, I don't care.
- Here, I want you to have it. Try it.
- I'd love to toast you, seeing that this is the millennium.
- Here you go. Here you go.
There's one for me, too.
- There you go.
You're so shaky. Are you okay?
- I am shaky.
- Do that again.
Look how shaky that was.
- Well, it's heavy.
This thing, it's like a freaking bowling ball.
And I'm nervous, man.
- Yeah, I mean, we don't know what's gonna happen
when the computer goes to double zero.
We don't know what's gonna happen.
- There's freaking a million people watching.
- I mean, the whole world- - Or like 700,000,
I don't know.
Two million, this one's going big, y'all, 10 million.
- Oh, oh, I think this cap's making it taste bad.
- 21-year-old water tastes like water.
- It's fricking water.
Water should never go away.
- It's a nice set piece. I think it's cool.
- But, Evian is naive spelled backwards,
which is what we used to say in middle school.
- This is fun.
Let's just say, nah, that's whack.
- [Rhett] Nah, that's whack.
- Yeah, 'cause it's just water.
These Walt Disney Heath Bars are from 1979.
Oh, we were one year old.
You were two.
- I was two.
- We're old.
The chocolate bars have Disney characters on them.
And they come in almond, peanut, and solid milk chocolate.
And these are 11 years older
than our Wade Boggs Bar, for reference.
- We also have- - We have for reference.
- We got them from Kernersville, North Carolina.
- We did?
Now, do you want solid milk chocolate,
chocolate and almonds, or chocolate and mouse nuts?
- I'll do mouse nuts, cause it's kind of like a Mr. Goodbar.
- I'm gonna go with chocolate and almonds.
And we'll leave that one just out.
- I feel like a Heath Bar will hold up.
It's kind of like window caulk.
- Oh my God.
- Oh, look at that. Look at the color of that!
There's no way that was what it was.
- It looks- - Hold on.
- It looks like particle board.
- Okay, in 1979, the packaging implied
that Mickey Mouse was on this bar.
- Yeah, he was.
- The years have not been kind to Mickey, on or off the bar.
- [Link] I mean, it's not been-
- It is so smooth!
- [Link] It's smoother than a baby's bottom.
- Did somebody sand these in Kernersville?
Did Kernersville sand the bars?
- I am being dead serious
in telling you that I think that this is wood.
- You know what?
We have been pranked.
- We've been freaking- - Hold on!
- [Link] We paid $30.
- Look, look, look.
It is wood!
In Kernersville, they took the chocolate out.
They put what in there!
- Seriously.
You can't- - It's wood!
It's not a joke! It's wood.
- [Link] Hold on, okay- - Look, look, look.
- Just two hours- - This is cardboard.
- This is two hours North.
Yeah, I was like, this looks like particle board.
It freaking is!
This will not stand, guys.
- Oh, the retribution that we are going to-
- We coming for you, Kernersville.
- We're gonna drive all the way there!
- We're tracking you down.
- And we're bringing on our cardboard bars.
- Do you know anything about this?
- [Stevie] You know what?
I'm pissed.
But, I do have something that
I feel like might make you feel better.
- Okay. Well-
- I'm pissed! - Fat chance of that.
- Here's something to make you feel better.
What?
- Link, Rhett,
it's baseball Hall-of-Famer, Wade Boggs.
I understand you guys have a problem
with the way my bar
smells.
It smells like the Hall of Fame.
You guys owe me a big, smelly apology.
- Wade Boggs has become a WWE wrestler, apparently.
Like, he has gone into-
- This is not chocolate,
but that was freaking Wade Boggs.
- You know what we're doing?
We're gonna send Wade Boggs to Kernersville,
because apparently he's got a problem with you.
- [Stevie] Wait, wait, wait. - What, what?
- [Stevie] Doesn't that make you feel better?
Don't you feel better? Take a moment.
Don't you feel better? - I'm disoriented.
- Because here's what happened.
We were- - That is pretty cool.
We got the Boggs.
- We were throwing shade- - [Stevie] See?
- And then, all of a sudden we got shade.
- Yeah.
- Like- - Yeah.
- But, Wade Boggs just made an appearance on the show
without our permission, by the way.
And we got duped.
I don't know what to do now.
- Well, I'd let Wade Boggs beat you up.
I'd watch that.
- I love, like, that he's got a museum
in his house, apparently.
- Hall-of-Famer, he's a Hall-of-Famer.
And look, after watching that, it almost smells good.
Smell it. Doesn't it smell good?
- It smells horrible. - I know, right?
You want him to fight you?
- Hold on, I'm gonna gain my composure.
- [Stevie] Okay.
- Wade Boggs, thank you for taking the time
out of your busy day- - Thank you, Mr. Boggs.
- To give us a personalized, what is this?
Did you pay him through Cameo?
Thank you.
- It wasn't vertical video,
so I don't think it was Cameo. - Mr. Boggs
for validating our show with your shade.
- But, we will continue to smell your bar
and use it and to compare other old chocolates.
- Back to the Kernersville. - Yeah,
this is a real problem. - We're coming for you.
And you know who we're bringing with us?
Wade Boggs. - Wade Boggs, yeah.
- Because he means business.
- And a bat, a metal one.
- He takes no snoop from anybody.
And we're gonna bring in the snoop to you.
- So, Walt Disney Heath Bar?
Nah, it's wood! - It's wood!
All right, our oldest snack, like we said at the top,
dates back to the 1950s.
This is Reese, not Reese's, totally different company,
Confetti Popcorn.
It looks like fun.
But, we're gonna see if a 70-year-old popcorn
will still pop.
Pop the top, pop.
Come on. - I need something
to do it with.
- Can we get Wade-
- I need a- - In here to help?
All right, we paid $109.89 cents for this.
I hope these aren't fake.
- Oh, it's like it's rainbow colored.
- Look like my great granddaddy's dyed teeth.
- Is that just what popcorn looked like in the fifties?
- Okay, so- - Is this
what corn looked like before factory farming?
- I'm gonna turn this on.
You want me to, do I put the oil in first?
- Oh, it does say confetti popcorn.
- Put the popcorn in first?
Put the corn in! How much corn?
- [Nicole] However much you want.
- All of it. Half of it.
- I'm assuming that this is gonna pop.
Oh, hey, it did! One did!
- That was a weak pop. Can you see that?
- [Rhett] Oh, more, there's more.
- Yep, you can definitely see it.
Okay, oh, yes! - Yeah.
- Look at that.
I mean, this is like something awakening
from a freaking cryogenic sleep.
You know? - Actually,
it's kind of just like regular popcorn.
If you take the top off, some is gonna pop out,
but it'll be cool, it'll be cool.
Oh! Oh yeah!
Oh, it hit me in the forehead.
- I caught it right
in my hand! - It's hot!
It's real hot. - It tastes just
like regular popcorn.
- One could have gone right in your mouth, man.
- This is pretty cool.
I've got salt and pepper from 1954 Western Airlines.
This is what they would give you
when you were on the Western Airline.
- It tastes no different than normal popcorn.
- But hold on, we haven't put the old salt on it yet.
Shake that around.
- There we go.
- See if you can get another one.
- I snapped!
I feel like I got power over this corn!
- Snap, catching pop! - I snapped and caught it!
- Snap, catch, and pop. - What are the chances?
- I mean, just like Wade Boggs would do.
You know, if he were here?
- Man, it tastes like,
yeah, it tastes like popcorn.
- 70-year-old confetti popcorn.
- It's still good.
- [Rhett And Link] Bring it back!
- Because it will rise from the dead.
- All right, so we decided
to bring back caramel apple-filled Twizzlers.
- Of course.
- And Reese Confetti Popcorn.
- We don't even have to worry about that.
We're just gonna seal it right back up
and enjoy it later on today.
- This has been a wild ride today.
Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell.
And thanks to Mr. Boggs
for making this surprise appearance.
And screw you, that guy from-
- Kernersville. - Kernersville.
- Yeah. - You duped us.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, this is baseball Hall-of-Famer Wade Boggs, hanging out
with my two grandkids, Beck and Harper,
just polishing my Hall-of-Fame ring here.
And
- [In Unison] It's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- We can't get enough of Boggs.
- Granddad's talking about his ring again.
- Click the top link to watch us discover
which TV shows were discontinued and which are still
on the air, in "Good Mythical More".
- And to find out
where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
Check out "Ronstadt", the scripted podcast we're starring in
on Apple Podcast, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And be sure to follow so you don't miss an episode.