have a seat thank you so much welcome welcome one and all
to The Late Show I'm your host Stephen Colbert uh
first of all happy Martin Luther King Jr day everybody
always worth celebrating and and in honor I thought I'd kick off the show tonight
with a lesser-known fun fact from this great man's life did you know that and
this is true although we now regard MLK as one of the greatest orders of our time
he actually received two C's in public speaking that is a really tough teacher no one wants to
hear the details of a dream Martin also have you actually been to a Mountaintop write what you know
yesterday President Biden celebrated MLK's Legacy from Dr King's own Pulpit
at Ebenezer Baptist Church say this With all sincerity I stand Here humbled be the
first city and president United States to have an opportunity to speak at Ebenezer Sunday service
you've been around 436 years I know I look like it but I haven't
I mean look at this face
look
I know I look like it look at this face he's like an old catcher's mitt I mean
white does crack Jack I look like look like somebody just unwrapped a mummy don't ask what
it was wrapped in it was classified documents oops I've said too much amen play ball now
Biden continued honoring the Reverend this morning at a prayer breakfast
where he learned was the birthday of MLK's daughter-in-law Andrea Waters King although
it seems like he was missing one small detail well look my wife has a rule in
her family when somebody's birthday sing happy birthday you ready happy
birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Valley happy birthday to you
wow okay now people people are accusing him yes people are accusing him of
forgetting her name that's not fair he clearly never knew her name [Applause]
or maybe they're just such good friends that he's calling her by her nickname
what's up
thank you nice unfortunately for President Joe his classified document saga continues on Saturday
it was reported that Biden's aides found five additional pages of classified material that his
personal residence in Delaware oh my God this just won't end Joe's making me do something I
swore I would never do care about what happens in Delaware it's getting it's getting snap that in
sure how's it going anyone from Delaware Delaware no Delaware it's getting hard to keep all these
documents straight so let me let it out this newly discovered stack of five pages is actually part
of the same stash we learned about last week but apparently Biden's lawyers had stopped
searching the property because they didn't have security clearance so a White House lawyer who
did have clearance arrived Thursday and found five additional documents with classified markings okay
Biden team how about before you make any announcements you wait until the whole search is
finished hey great news we found only one raccoon living inside your wall she's lactating up a storm
but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything why has that's a disturbing image yeah lactating raccoon
now why has stuff been coming out in dribs and drabs well after the first documents
were found the Biden team volunteered to do additional searches but moved more slowly
than law enforcement expected how fast you expect an 80 year old man to move
okay what are you guys looking for the documents I got some boxes down on the old guest room come
on let's go down let's go get them it's almost gone boy that gotta say that picture looks a
little crooked on the wall doesn't it is that uh does that look level to you guys that look level
I got a level on the garage let me go get that all right the boxes the boxes
hold on I got the boxes I got the boxes what's going on with this what's going on
scene this might not even be the end because sources say there are
multiple additional spots that could be searched and it's possible additional
documents could still be found well if this goes on until the spring they can
kill two birds and combine the search with the White House Easter Egg Hunt
this document story as to how early is Easter this year is it early or late
no way of knowing this document story is playing right into the Republicans hands
now the House GOP is demanding two years of visitor logs from President Biden's Delaware
home they're going to learn about all of Biden's regular visitors Ben Jerry Baskin
Robbins Ambassador Haugen Admiral Dawes and most scandalous of all a solo visit from Mrs softy
yes Mrs Mrs softy yeah they split up they split up she left Mister Softee for obvious reasons
I know I know goodbye childhood one little problem with the Republicans request for who
came and went from the Delaware home the White House says no visitor logs exist for President
Biden's private residence oh they don't exist or do they exist on Hunter Biden's laptop
more dramatic of course President Biden should not have had these materials at home and I'm
sure House Republicans have honest concerns about our nation's classified documents right
one of those Republicans at the end of the day my biggest concern isn't to classify documents
to be honest with you my concern is how there's such a discrepancy in how former president Trump
was treated by raiding Mar-A-Lago by getting the security cameras by taking pictures of documents
on the on the floor by going through melania's closet versus Joe Biden yes there is such a
discrepancy Joe Biden's own lawyers are the ones who found his documents that immediately turned
them into the National Archives the other guy hid the documents then his lawyers lied obstructed or
in Rudy's case fell asleep outside the m m store in a kiddie pool full of Carlo Rossi
there's more news
I like that guy stepping it down Deputy dog musgrass singing on the pink mud
there's more news about New York congressmen and that one fifth
not his core base [Applause]
New York congressman and that one fifth grader who carries a briefcase George Santos since he was
elected we've learned that Santos has no problem misrepresenting everything including his own name
there are stories out there that Santos called himself by a variety of names and now we have
proof in the form of a recently surfaced video from an event in Los Angeles Circa 2019 check out
what Santos uses here my name is Anthony devolder I recently founded a movement called United for
Trump on Facebook and if you have any questions about it you can DM me at the real Taylor Swift
okay one of the most wanna
that's that's the real desert one of the most serious questions facing Santos is that
he'll own 705 000 to his own campaign even though 2020 records indicate he only had 55
000 and a lot of people are asking where Santos got the money including Florida
Congressman Matt Gates because he on Thursday Gates was the guest host of Steve bannon's War
Room podcast he asked Santos the origins of that 700k where did it come from well I'll tell you
where it didn't come from it didn't come from China Ukraine or barisma how about that well
yeah that that is an answer true that is an answer not to the question you asked but it's
an answer the judges would also have accepted Manifest Destiny and chlorophyll [Applause]
also answers those will also be answers of some form Gates persisted sort of so you know when
you uh donated that money to your campaign is there anything else you can say about uh
the work you did that was the origin of those resources look I've worked my entire life I've
lived an honest life I've never been uh accused suit of any bad doing really no one's accused
you of doing anything but doing bad doings if you didn't know that you should watch the news
somebody get this guy a TV or better let just leave your door open he'll come take it Sanchez
continued it's the equity of my hard-working self and I've invested inside of me well there
it is he got the money from the equity of his hard-working self that he's invested inside of him
did I have that right
for a guy that lies this much he should really be better at it at
this point you know Malcolm Gladwell said you need to do something for 10
000 hours to master it or as George Sato said I am Malcolm Gladwell [Laughter] [Applause]
in uh in is this still happening news this weekend was the 71st annual Miss Universe competition
and Miss USA Rabbani Gabriel won it all keep in mind this isn't Miss Earth this is Miss Universe
which is why we're beaming tonight's show out to space Alpha Centauri in 4.36 years
you're going to learn that you're all uggos [Applause] it was a close contest
but uh Rabbani sealed the deal uh during the costume portion of the evening when she wore
this outfit which is either Moon themed or what it looks like when a disco ball pukes
I know I know it looks like
all right fight I know it looks like it would be hard to walk in that lunar get up but you'd
be wrong it's actually extremely hard [ __ ] it that's one small step for woman because one giant
step would blow out her meniscus we got a great show for you tonight my guest is Hugh Jackman
of my tech segment cyborgasm stick around [Music] foreign [Music]