Hello brains!!!
Next week will be our one year anniversary.
We have come so far.
This year we made over 50 videos.
We got over 2 million views on the channel.
And we are so close to hitting 50,000 subscribers
in our first year.
We won Youtube NextUp!
We made a 2 hour glitter jar!
We dealt with meltdowns, and procrastination, and studying, and relationships, and paper clutter, and sleep!
What's sleep?
Getting stuff done is great.
But as I'm learning, it's also important to manage your time so that you're not up 'till 3 AM every night.
After a year of doing this show
Scheduling is still something I really struggle with.
So this week we're getting professional help.
This is Eric Tivers.
He's a Licensed Clinical Social Worker,
has ADHD himself,
and he runs an intensive coaching group for people with ADHD.
He's also the host of the ADHD Rewired Podcast.
Which you may have heard me on.
Links in the description. ↓
Eric is also an all-around amazing guy
for doing this interview
even though I showed up 20 minutes late.
Did I mention I filmed this from home?
I was 20 minutes late to my dining room.
JESSICA: Thank you so much for coming Eric.
ERIC: Thanks for having me. I'm really excited to do this.
JESSICA: Help!
ERIC: Oh! That's my cue! Huh?
JESSICA: Hahaha!!!
ERIC: Ok.
When you think of a schedule, what is that to you?
JESSICA: Ha!
A prison?
Haha!
ERIC: So there are two things that I just saw and heard.
One was - "Next question please.
I don't even know how to answer that".
And the other is like - "This is so constraining!
I don't want a schedule,
Then I have no ability to have spontaneity.
JESSICA: That's what I'm afraid of.
I am so afraid of not having any spontaneity in my life
and that's going to make me less fun.
Or less interesting.
I have such a hard time sticking to a schedule
that I end up being like the the schedule police for the other people in my life.
Anything that feels like it might throw me off schedule stresses me out.
ERIC: Do you think that there's also an element of - you're overwhelmed and sort of getting lazier focus
where you're kind of like - (annoyed grr) - you know - if anyone is interrupting with your schedule
partially because you haven't had a schedule - so now you're at this point?
JESSICA: I mean - that's part of it for sure, right!?
By the time I sit down and make a schedule, it's because I need one.
ERIC: When you make a schedule for yourself, do you get like a big slab of stone and a chisel?
JESSICA: Haha! I mean - not generally speaking.
ERIC: Ok, that's good! I'm glad to hear that.
Because, a schedule or a calendar is a tool that allows you to have flexibility - to create flexibility.
Let's say something else comes up.
We can take that thing that comes up and say:
Hmm. This is what I was planning on doing. But I'm looking ahead for the next two days
I could actually do it at this time
and if for some reason that doesn't work
I also have this time that I can do that.
JESSICA: Than here's my question:
How do you even begin to create a schedule?
I don't understand how long my creative tasks will take
They could take a day. They could take five days. And I just don't know!
And I'm starting to realize this is my aversion to schedules is ...
It's so many opportunities to fail.
If I don't set myself up for - these are thing things I'm going to accomplish and this is when
Then I can't fail.
Anything that I do that day is a success.
As soon as I have a schedule, I can fail.
Like - not only can I, but I do -
constantly throughout the day.
And it just makes me aware of my deficits.
ERIC: I like to think that there's no such thing as failure; there's success and there's learning.
Right - easier said than done though.
Right?
As people with ADHD - unfortunately - our résumé of failures is bigger than we want.
So there's a lot of shame that's involved in that.
It's understandable where there's a sort of resistance to it. 'Cause why would you want to continue
to set yourself up to fail at stuff?
One of the things that I think is true for a lot of us with ADHD is our sense of time is pretty lousy. Right?
You're like: Oh yeah, that'll take me ten minutes.
And that task is never taking you ten minutes.
EVER!!!
Right?
JESSICA: Ever!
BOTH: Ever!
Ever!
ERIC: And so if you start just jumping into weekly planning, but you're using your old sense of time
You know, the part that tells you those fifteen minute tasks will only take you five minutes
And the thing that you think will take you half-an-hour actually takes a good part of a day
You're going to always feel overwhelmed because you're going to always have too much on your plate.
So, the first step -- if you're trying to build something big
So whether it's a Youtube channel, or trying to structure your home, or trying to get through college
Whatever it is.
The first thing you have to know is how long do things actually take you.
JESSICA: So, is that what you would recommend?
Like - before I try to make another schedule, would you suggest that I go for a couple weeks
timing my activities first?
ERIC: Yes!
So what you want to do is take out your standard to-do list, have your task written down,
and then look at the task and say:
How long do I think this task is going to take me?
Say it's writing an email.
It's going to take you five minutes.
So what you do then is set a timer that actually goes up.
So, not a count-down timer.
Because if you set a count-down timer, and it gets to zero, and you're still working on that email,
How're you gonna know how long it actually took you?
So use a count-up timer, stop the timer when you're done with the task, and then write down
how long it actually took you.
JESSICA: So, one of the things that I learned at the CHADD conference where Eric was speaking
He said something really, really profound
that I had never considered before
Which is that things take the time that they take to do,
but they also take prep time and clean-up time.
ERIC: Yes!
JESSICA: And I don't think I'd ever considered that in my entire adult life.
ERIC: For your viewers, if you're looking around you
and you're like - man, these piles; they're out of control.
Here's the secret to this.
I learned this, actually, from a conference that I went to
it was talking about play
Because there's three parts to play.
There's setting it up.
Playing.
And cleaning it up.
And I immediately made that connection between - work's the same way!
And I haven't been factoring in my clean-up time.
And that's why I have piles everywhere.
JESSICA: So, apparently I've been doing my scheduling backwards.
Apparently, before you try to create a schedule,
and stick to it,
you should figure out how long the things you're putting in that schedule will actually take.
ERIC: Yeah, where I would actually start, Jessica, is those things that you do every single day.
How long does it take you to make your coffee?
How long does breakfast take you?
JESSICA: I think that's where a lot of us run into issues.
We forget that the little things that aren't on our schedule that we do every day actually take up time.
ERIC: Especially when you have the amazing ability to transition as quickly as you and I do.
JESSICA: Hahahahaha!!!
ERIC: I mean, it's crazy how long transitions take us.
JESSICA: And ... transition!
See, I'm getting better!
In part two of Eric's interview
We'll talk about how to actually create and stick to a schedule.
For now, we've got homework!
Start keeping track of how long things take you.
Write down how long you think it'll take,
start your count-up timer,
and then write down how long it actually took.
In January, take all this information and ...
do ... stuff ... with it.
Eric will explain.
If you're interested in joining Eric's coaching group
which is kinda like a semester of ADHD school,
you can find a link in the description ↓
Registration closes this Friday.
If you're watching this in the future
First off:
WOW!!! You're in the future!!!
Second, Eric does these coaching groups pretty regularly. So there's probably another one starting soon.
That's it for this week.
Share your scheduling mishaps in the comments below ↓
Or hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.
If you liked this episode, subscribe.
And if you loved this episode and want to help me make more, consider donating to my Patreon page.
Like these Brains did.
Thank you to all my Patreon Brains.
You guys have no idea how much you keep me on schedule.
See you next week.
Bye Brains!!!
Question Time!!!
"OMG you've almost been doing this for a year,
"are you going to do anything for your special first anniversary episode?"
Mmhmm