Carly Shay.
I had a feeling I'd hear from you.
I want iCarly.com back.
We all want things.
I mean it!
Carly, if you want your precious website back,
all you need to do is ask.
OK, can I have my website back?
- No. - Nub.
Ah!
No, no!
I'm sorry.
Sorry?!
You're sorry?!
That was the last dang jar
of bread and butter pickles in this store!
Where's your stupid mother?
Where is she?
Were you gonna buy this lollipop?
Well, now it's broken.
[crying]
Not so fun, is it?
I'm Sam.
And I'm Carly!
It's Nevel again.
Now what's he doing?
Overriding our signal.
He's webcasting directly to our audience.
And now on iCarly, I will sing a song all about my webcast.
♪ I have a web show that I do ♪
♪ It is really bad! ♪
Stop it, sicko! Let go of me!
No way, they're paying me to do this.
- How much? - Five bucks.
I'll give you 10 to release me.
- Deal. - Hah!
Now you get nothing!
You feel the rue?
You'll feel it!
Oh, lucky penny.
- Ow! - Oh, I'm sorry.
No, no, no! I'm sorry you don't look where you're going.
You know you probably just bruised my buttocks?!
Jerk!
- Can I buy you smoothie? - No!
I have never seen such careless, stupid...
Hey, Nevel...
Oh, cheese...
I'm Carly!
And I'm Sam!
[snorting]
Hello, former iCarly fans, I'm Nevel Papperman.
Welcome to the new iCarly.com!
And now Carly and Sam are going to visit my underarms.
[laughing]
Now watch!
We clicky, we draggy.
- Push your grandmother down. - I'll do it!
Wait till Shelby Marx sees this.
Now, Shelby,
this clip is from last week's press conference.
I was able to boost the audio so you can hear
what Carly and Sam are saying.
Okay?
So what should I do?
- Push your grandmother down. - I'll do it!
Unbelievable.
So it wasn't an accident?
Obviously not.
I suppose you're pretty angry?
Uh-huh.
And I bet you're going to punch and kick Carly
extra powerfully.
Yeah, I am.
Who could blame you?
Let's go, Gary!
Look, I don't want to sound rude,
but I really didn't come here to dance.
Could you just interview me about the web--
Nevel!
I stole a kiss upon your cheek.
And now another kiss I seek.
Seek some tapenade!
Spencer!
You shouldn't have done that, Carly Shay!
You'll rue this day! You'll rue it!
- Open the elevator. - Yes, sir.
I hope Carly and Sam don't get too violent when they find you.
Oh, wait. I hope they do.
Going down.
Why?
Because you and Carly were supposed to help me
regain my popularity
after the bread and butter pickle incident
with that little girl.
And you failed!
- No, we didn't fail! - We did help you!
It's not our fault that afterwards
you went and screamed at some dude in a wheelchair.
He rolled over my foot and scratched my loafers.
What is that?
Oh, I'm an artist.
I'm making a sculpture out of butter.
[scoffs]
Your work disgusts me.
Who are you anyway?
[distorted voice] My identity is a secret.
Nevel, come say goodbye, sweetie!
Mother, I'm busy!
Nevel?!
Hello, Carly. Sam, Freddie.
You're the one messing up our webcast?
That's right.
I've hacked your website.
I told you I'd get revenge.
No, you said I'd rue the day.
Same thing!
And now your time to rue has come.
Look, Nevel, you'd better just back off
or I'm going to squeeze your big, round melon head
till it pops.
I'm untouchable.
I control iCarly and there's nary a thing
you can do to stop me.
Nary?
Let the ruing begin.
You feel it, Carly?
You feel the rue?
You feel it?!
Nevel, come kiss mommy goodbye.
All right, Mother!
Better find a new hobby, Carly,
because your web show is officially canceled.
By me.
I hate him.
I heard that.
Hey, Trickster206!
Guess what you've won...
Would it be a new car?
Nevel?
That's right, Carly Shay,
I've won the car and you have to give it to me!
Isn't this delicious?
Oh, I just feel like spinning in a celebratory fashion!
[plays a tune]
Weee! Weee! Weee! Weee!
- Well... - Well...
iCarly ran an online contest.
I entered and I won a car.
And if you don't give me one,
I'm going to report you to the LCC for fraud!
Ooh!
And have iCarly shut down.
Ooh...
- It could be a-- - Will you two shut up?!
I'm about to rid the Internet of iCarly forever
and you're bumming my joy!
Carly Shay has embarrassed herself yet again
by chickening out of her fight with Shelby Marx.
Oh, well, at least you can watch this animated video I created
showing Carly as she truly is.
Enjoy.
- Is that a new shirt? - Shh!
[clucking]
Okay, that's enough.