Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we will learn about the power of not reacting and
twelve habits to control your emotions. Now, let’s begin.
Do you know someone who gets angry, anxious, or upset over the smallest things? A surprising
number of people have trouble restraining their emotions, especially during periods of stress
and uncertainty. When something doesn’t go their way, they get overwhelmed by extreme feelings,
like rage or distress, transforming even the most minor conflicts into
damaging and embarrassing situations. For example, let’s say you’re debating
with someone about a subject you both care about, like sports or politics. All you want
to do is make your point, but the other person seems to be getting angrier and
angrier. Perhaps they raise their voice or make derogatory comments about you or your beliefs.
What starts as a friendly debate escalates into swearing, name-calling, and personal criticisms.
Why? Because not everyone knows know how to control their emotions. When they hear
something they don’t like, many people react impulsively, like a wave of frustration and
volatility is crashing onto their heads. These people may be prone to feelings of defensiveness
as if any opposition is an insult to their character. They might become angry that people
aren’t validating their ideas or because they’re struggling to communicate exactly what they mean.
Once these emotions start swirling in their heads, they’re likely to make bad decisions.
They may become desperate to get their way, damaging their relationships and hurting
the people they care about. Only after the dust settles do they realize the damage they’ve done.
If you find yourself in a similar situation — where your emotions are tested — how can
you prevent your emotions from spiraling out of control? In this video, we’re going to discuss
twelve powerful habits anyone can use to master what’s known as “non-reacting.” The basic idea
is simple. By recognizing extreme emotions and delaying impulsive reactions, you can make good
decisions when it matters most... and these habits will help you do just that. Many of these tricks
and techniques are employed by highly disciplined people every single day. Like exercising physical
muscles, it takes time and consistent effort to build real emotional discipline, but with these
everyday habits, you’ll learn to control your emotions and navigate any situation
with patience and composure. 1. Chemical Countdown
When you experience an emotional conflict, chemicals rush into your brain that motivate
extreme reactions and impulsive behaviors. If you want to control your emotions,
you need to wait for that rush of chemicals to disappear before taking action.
One simple trick is to close your eyes and count to five. During those five seconds,
the chemicals in your brain will slow down enough to see your situation clearly. It sounds simple,
but those five seconds can spare you from years of impulsiveness and regret.
2. Find Your Roots When you feel strong emotions
bubbling up inside you, try searching for the root of the problem. In other words, ask yourself why
you might be feeling the way you’re feeling. If you’re impulsively angry about something
someone said, ask yourself why their comment triggered such a strong emotional reaction.
This habit immediately changes your perspective, forcing you to step back and analyze your emotions
from the outside. This instantly puts you in a position of emotional control and reveals what’s
really causing your distress. Often the source of a feeling isn’t what it appears. Once you find it,
you can face the actual problem without doing damage to yourself or others.
3. Sources of Resentment
Many of us have a bad habit of stewing on feelings of anger or resentment.
Let's say you have an argument with a friend. You both walk away feeling hurt and irritated, but
instead of expressing those feelings and finding a solution, you allow your anger inside you to
simmer and grow. Over time, you may even lose track of why you were angry in the first place.
The longer you wait to resolve these feelings, the harder it becomes to make those emotions go away.
This is true of many negative emotions, like sadness or embarrassment. Ignoring these feelings
can create lasting emotional turmoil, so speak up and resolve your feelings before it’s too late.
4. Name Your Emotions
We often struggle to control our emotions because we don’t really know what we’re feeling. All we
recognize is a swirling cloud of thoughts and feelings. Our emotions become muddled
and frustrating, so we seek immediate relief instead of understanding what’s going wrong.
In situations like this, try naming your emotions. As soon as you feel something bubbling up inside
you, ask yourself, “What exactly am I feeling? Am I angry or sad? Impatient or embarrassed?”
Once you put a name to your emotions, they become smaller, simpler, and easier to understand.
5. Manage Your Stress Stress has a significant
effect on your emotional state. When you’re stressed, your patience and discipline wear
thin. It feels like the world is crashing down all around you, and minor things may trigger extreme
emotional outbursts and irrational decisions. Any kind of stress can impact your emotional
state, so make a habit of relieving some stress every day. There are plenty of stress-relieving
activities out there, like writing, meditation, and exercise. Any of these habits, if practiced
regularly, may lower your stress levels, making it much easier to process and control your emotions.
6. Opportunities for Expression Many people lose control of their emotions
because they don’t allow themselves to express how they really feel. Men especially stuff their
feelings down and pretend everything is fine until the day their emotions suddenly explode outward.
This is when extreme emotions do the most damage to you and the people in your life.
For your own sake, don’t let your emotions fester in the back of your mind. Instead,
create opportunities to express your emotions on a regular basis. Write in a journal,
talk with a loved one, or sit down with a mental health professional. Make self-expression a normal
part of your routine, and you’ll begin to understand yourself a whole lot better.
7. Channel Your Feelings
Talking or writing aren’t the only way to express emotions. You can also channel those feelings into
activities like physical sports or creative hobbies. These activities occupy your mind
and channel your energy in a way that brings calm and clarity. For example, if you’re caught up in a
stressful situation, you might try singing at the top of your lungs. There are dozens of activities,
like singing, that release your feelings and change your state of mind. Find one that suits
your interests. That way, you can channel your emotions into something constructive.
8. The Empathy Routine When you’re angry at someone,
try thinking about your situation from their point of view. You may feel like you’ve been wronged,
but it’s possible the other person feels the same way. They might be in a challenging position or,
like you, struggling to understand why they feel the way they feel. In either case,
practicing empathy can neutralize extreme emotions and help the two of you find common ground.
Even if you’re not actively upset, this is a great habit for expanding your emotional intelligence.
Practicing empathy challenges you to reflect on your feelings, question your assumptions,
and approach every situation with a calm and collected state of mind.
9. Possess Your Emotions
Are you ashamed of your emotions? Too many people avoid responsibility for their genuine feelings
because they’re embarrassed or ashamed to feel them. If someone asks you how you’re feeling,
you might pretend everything is okay and hide your emotions from the world.
But this only deepens your emotional turmoil. When you’re feeling overwhelmed,
take responsibility for your emotions because there’s nothing shameful about how you feel.
10. The Boiling Point Even if you learn to control your emotions,
you may be too upset to hold those emotions inside you. Some people call this the “boiling
point” — the moment just before your feelings bubble up and explode. If you want to control your
emotions, get to know your boiling point so that you never do or say something you regret. When
you’re almost over the edge, remove yourself from the situation and give yourself time to cool off.
11. Create Your Mantra Sometimes, when you’re feeling strong emotions,
it helps to remind yourself what you’re working toward or what kind of person you want to be.
A simple mantra or a meaningful phrase can help you find perspective and rise above
negative emotions like anger or frustration. These feelings might be strong in the moment,
but when you think about what really matters, it’s easier to maintain control.
It may take some time to find a mantra that’s unique and special to you. There are all kinds
of mantras out there, but often the powerful mantras are the ones you create for yourself.
A few repetitions of this meaningful phrase can relieve stress, provide clarity, and remind you
what is really important. 12. The Power of Breath
Many disciplined people have developed incredible patience and willpower using
the simple power of their breath. You’ve probably heard about breathing exercises
to relieve stress or anxiety, but why does breathing affect your emotional state?
The first half of your breath, the inhale, influences your sympathetic nervous system,
which controls your fight or flight response. Stopping for a deep breath of air dissuades
impulsive behavior in favor of more logical decisions. The second half, the exhale, comes from
your parasympathetic nervous system, which affects your ability to relax and calm down. Simply
exhaling a breath of air can pacify negative feelings, giving you a sense of calm and control.
Whenever your emotions are spiraling out of control, take a deep breath in and out. This
simple exercise may be all you need to control your emotions and change your state of mind.
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