Hi, I'm Stevie and in this video I talked to Dodie about s*x.
So this video is gonna be about how to make negotiations with your s*x partner. Well Dodie is not my s*x partner,
Well not now at least, maybe she never was. To be honest I'll never fully confirm or deny
So feel free to work out from our body language and the things we say, what's true and what's false
Yaaaaay *fun clapping*
One fun thing to note is that both me and Dodie have different hair now, so don't want it to spook ya
I asked my editor to try to color over our hair to make it look like our hair now
because this footage is so old, it's from like a year ago,
but then when she just colored over our hair with computer marker, it just looked like this, so...
So I really wanted to talk to Dodie about s*x I started by just asking her and then I made her really uncomfortable
So we used this website called mojoupgrade.com and it asks you a bunch of questions about s*x and sexuality
and what you want and what you like and it's really cool because it only
sends the things that you both do want to do with each other, to each other.
So, if you are scared that someone will think that it's weird that you're into butt stuff or
foot stuff or blood stuff or whatever.
If they're not also into it
They'll never find out.
Stevie: You basically didn't say yes to any of this.
Dodie: Yeah I know.
Stevie: What's wrong with face sitting?
Level of comfort, you know what I mean? Just ups the comfort level.
For those of y'all that are scared to talk about s*x
I'm not one of you, but like good luck,
It's also a great way to start a conversation about sexual negotiation
because neither of you are coming up with the questions the website does it yourself?
The website does it for you.
You're answering in completely separate rooms or cities or states if you want to. And then if you want to discuss it you can.
Before we started, even though it's basically completely anonymous, we were both really nervous.
Dodie: Okay. Are you nervous? Stevie: Yeah
Let me tell you something
We're basically trained from birth to think that s*x is weird and bad and hard to talk about
so a lot of people feel fucking weird talking about s*x
Sometimes it's because you don't have much practice talking about it and sometimes
It's because when you did try to practice talking about it some other person made you feel like shit because they're a piece of shit
Stevie: Like what do you think could go wrong if you were to voice it?
Dodie: I'm worried that, uh... I'd be laughed at and...
Stevie: That's what you're worried about? Dodie: Yeah.
Dodie: It would be embarrassing. I mean obviously I know they wouldn't - like they'd try and be like, okay.
Stevie: No, but and if they did, what?
Dodie: (whispers) Then I'd feel embarrassed, and ashamed Stevie: Why?
Stevie: Oh cuz if they're like, "Ha ha, you're into...
...whatever!" Dodie: Yeah, I'm trying to think.. Stevie: Like laughing at you. Not just like, laughing cuz it's silly.
Dodie: Like I've had experiences where I'll
Try doing something new and step out my comfort zone and they're like, what are you doing? And I'm like,
Ahhh! Shut down, shut down! Stevie: Oh no!
Dodie: I literally just shut down like everything just goes boom and I'm like nope, nope.
Stevie: That's so bad!
Dodie: Mhm, that's what I fear. Stevie: You should be encouraged to try new things.
Stevie: But also like, everything is funny. Life is funny.
Dodie: Yeah! Stevie: So if someone laughs about it, like, you're supposed to laugh.
Dodie: I know and I wish I could also... Stevie: S*x is fun.
Dodie: It is fun. And I would like to laugh at things that go wrong. I think that's so important, but like
when it's like, on me... Stevie: But it's like, it's not gonna happen?
it's like, I've done something wrong, oh no!
Stevie: You might be afraid of being embarrassed or scared
you're not gonna say it or do it sexy enough. Or you might be scared that the person you want to do the s*x with
Won't want to do the same sexy things as you. But at the end of the day,
you have to realize that we all want different sexy stuff. We all want different completely different things in general
We want different s*x stuff. We want different jobs. We want different theme parks even like different foods my manager
Dan doesn't like cilantro, but he loves butt stuff so... and I love cilantro
And I'm not really that into butt stuff... yet
Maybe ever. We'll see.
We are all different!
Talking about it and learning about each other is the best f**kin part! As long as you're going into the
conversation knowing that you're probably gonna have completely different answers and agreeing to not be a judgmental a** wipe
It's so nice because you get to be vulnerable together.
Stevie: Yay, vulnerability! Dodie: Yay!
When both/all parties involved are being vulnerable, it's so much easier to take risks.
You can start out slow by maybe mentioning something that you know, they're into or something that you're really comfy talking about
Stevie: Have you heard of edging?
Dodie: Yes, I love that. I love that idea
Stevie: Edging is the best
Dodie: I think that's really hot
Stevie: If you feel good about it, and the person you want to have s*x with is still unsure
You need to reassure them that it's safe for them to talk about it. Reassure them. Let them know that they're safe
Stevie: I love that idea
Dodie: Ah, look at my body language!
Stevie: You're so cute. You're doing so good
Stevie: The website Dodie and I used was super cool because you could do it in private
And so it didn't feel embarrassing or super uncomfortable.
Stevie: Have you ever been to a strip club?
Dodie: I have, like, been to where there are like, strippers...
Um... Stevie: What?
Dodie: So yes?
Stevie: You - wait... "have you ever been to a strip club? I've been to where there are strippers"
*Dodie laughing*
Stevie: And you might be surprised what you find out
Even if you're doing this test with someone you've been with someone you've been with for a really long time.
Dodie: You would want to watch porn together?
Stevie: Yeah!
Stevie: Do you like watching porn?
Dodie: No, not really
Stevie: I'm learning so much about you.
Dodie: I don't like a lot of porn because it's too aggressive
Stevie: Then you can find out something that they're not
into and then ask them why they think they're not into it and then to give them a scenario
Where maybe they would be into it and then you can talk about all the things...
because maybe they just have like one view of it or an assumption based on something that might not be real.
And then maybe they think it's hot afterwards. And then maybe you get to do it later.
Stevie: No role-play in costumes?
Dodie: No.
Stevie: What about roleplay in general?
Dodie: No,
Stevie: Really? Dodie: Yeah.. Stevie: The idea of it doesn't turn you on? okay, so
Dodie: I guess because I'm...
Dodie: I like honesty and openness and like genuine stuff
Stevie: Yeah, but isn't it flirty if you were like, on a vacation with a partner and you were like in a hotel?
And then you both dressed up and then said
"K bye!" and then like both met at the bar and then you were like, so what's your name?
Dodie: Oh, but that would be like silly, rather than... Stevie: and then like,
Stevie: Yeah, but that's role play.
Dodie: Okay.
Stevie: You're like, well, I'm a doctor
and I do this and I live in Milwaukee
What's your name? Dodie: Okay.
Stevie: and it's like, flirty. They're like "So you want to go back up to my hotel room?"
That's like the most vanilla role playing I can think of, because like, I don't know.
Role play is fun!
And it's not being dishonest, its acting
Stevie: And then you find the thing you're both really into!
Stevie: Mutually mas***ate. Have you ever done that before?
Dodie: Yes, it's amazing.
Stevie: I love mutual mast***ation so much. Dodie: It's so much fun. Yes, yes, I love that.
Stevie: It's so great.
Dodie: Okay, well. Now I know that you want me to sit on your face. (Singing voice) Okay, moving on...
Stevie: Oh! Use vi**tors, you say yes to vi**ators. Yay! Dodie said yes to one! Dodie: Yay!
Stevie: Vi**ators are great.
Dodie: I recently discovered that.
Stevie: oh, did I tell you I was gonna wave vi**ators in your face?
Thanks, Adam-uhm-eve! (slurring)
Thanks, Adam and Eve for sponsoring this video! And my vagina obviously.
Am I right?
Look at all these vibrators they sent me!
This one has a little bunny rabbit ears and it wiggles. This one's really hard but like got some good little
Texture there. This looks like a mushroom
Makes me think of Mario and this one...
Just gonna call it double nub!
If you also want to f*ck with vibrators do so with 50% off
to get 50% off, go to adamandeve.com
and use the code STEVIE for 50% off any one single item and
Free shipping to the US and canada
go buy a bunch of kinky s**t on adamandeve.com
And then do the... I almost dropped a vibrator
then do the quiz find out if your partner also wants to do the kinky s**t and then
You get to do the kinky s**t together
After 50% off! Am I the best at brand deals or what?
Stevie: Ear plugs! Sensory deprivation is so cool.
Dodie: Yes, I agree. That's why I've said yes to that and blindfolds.
Dodie: Yup, turned on. No I'm kidding (Stevie laughing)
Dodie: Are you? Just kidding.
Anyway, yes. Dodie says. Both: Yay!
Dodie (quietly): pull my hair.
Dodie: Biting! (*nods*)
Stevie: Wear a dog collar?
Dodie: Yeah. No, we're okay.
Stevie: We're both like no. Dodie: No.
Dodie: But biting?
Stevie: Biting is the best. Dodie: Heck yes.
S*x in the car, s*x in the woods, fun fun fun.
Stevie: Where you might get caught? Mmm, Dodie...
You're such a troublemaker!
Talking about what kinky s**t you and your partner are into is not only cool because you get to find out what you and your partner are into,
but it's cool because you get to be vulnerable together.
Yay vulnerability! Dodie: Yay!
Being vulnerable is great because it means you're sharing your feelings
Which is something people don't do. Or is it maybe I'm the only one that doesn't do it?
Is that a cancer thing?
Dodie: Nudist resort. That's basically what we did Stevie: Oh, you wanted to go to a nudist...
Dodie: ...on our first... (Stevie laughing)
Stevie's like, "hey want to hang out when I'm in LA?" I'm like, "yeah sure!'
She's like "I know this great Korean spa. Trouble is, you have to be completely naked." I'm like...
"Okay!"
First time hanging out like one-on-one, and we just get naked with each other.
Stevie: Listen, it was a Power Move and it almost didn't work and then it did, and I still can't believe it happened.
They don't have a lot of fetishes on this, but I'm such a voyeur.
Dodie: A what?
Stevie: A voyeur? It's the opposite of an exhibitionist, so an exhibitionist likes to be watched...
Dodie: Uh-huh? Stevie: And a voyeur likes to watch. Dodie: Mhm.
Stevie: So - and not just in a sexual way, but I love people watching and like, watching people, and like
Dodie: Oh, I like watching, yeah. Stevie: Yeah, I like to like...
Dodie: Oh! Then I'd like to go, but not do anything. I'd just like to watch it.
Stevie: Every time - I've never had s*x - I...
I've probably been to like...
At least 30 different...
Either s*x clubs or house parties or like, all of those things and I've never had s*x at one.
Dodie: Huh.
I love just talking to people and trying to like, figure out what they're feeling at whatever point
and like, watching them have s*x, and...
Dodie: Oh. Well, then yeah I'd like to go do that, yeah. That sounds fun. Stevie: It's so fun! I love it
Also PS, part of the sexual negotiation process should be
If you're talking to someone that you haven't had s*x with or maybe that's the first time you're
That you're going to have s*x, casually bringing up the testing conversation. You know, what I mean? Like, "Yo...
When's the last time you were tested? What were you tested for?
What were the results?" It's a way better way to have that conversation than asking if they're clean,
because you're not gonna get accurate
answers if you just say "hey, are you clean?" also it's like, really rude...
You know what I mean?
Then if it's been a couple months or three
since they've been tested, maybe you can go get tested together and have a Planned Parenthood date!
That's really fu**ing cute.
Because like, you know, it's a whole build up day, and then like, then you're like
"Oh my god. Now we can eat each other's pu**ies. This is great." You know what I mean?
I mean if you both have pu**ies, I don't know
I don't know what you're into.
If you don't want to use mojoupgrade.com, by the way
they also have an option for you only to answer vanilla stuff
It doesn't have to be like kinky blindfolds and like whatever. It's just like, "Hi,
Would you like to massage your partner? Do you want to go down on your partner?" Blah blah blah.
So you can do the vanilla way. Or if you don't want to use the website at all,
You can just have a conversation with your partner. A cool way to do that is to do
a Will Won't Want list.
So it is three columns that you write out
and it's the things that you really Want to do, the things that you Will do
if they're interested because duh, something's
...automatically hotter.
Not everything. But some things are automatically hotter
when you know that the other person is into them.
Even if you're not. And then there's a list of
Won'ts, the things you absolutely will not do. Like, "Stay away from my butt/my toes, please", you know what I mean?
And then you compare your list to each other and figure out where your wants and wills line up together.
Scorpio: Here's the thing Stevie... (smacks her lips)
I'm not even upset about you not having me in the video?
I'm just saying that like, as an influencer, you should be like
you know, concerned with consistency.
You know what I mean? So if you introduce
your audience to characters that they love, like me for example,
That's just...
It's just what they're expecting.
Stevie: Okay fine, you're in this video now.
Scorpio: Thank you. That's exactly what I was carefully scheming.
Stevie: Anyway, thank you guys all so much for watching,
and thanks to Scorpio for not interrupting the video until the very end.
Thank god.
Thank you again to my sponsor adamandeve.com for making s*x videos like this one possible.
Reminder, the code is STEVIE for 50% off. You're welcome. Yay, I get to change the world because you give me money!
Speaking of people that give me money to help change the world,
my shout out patrons for this video are...
Jess, Melanie, Emily, and Revin. Thanks so much for being my patrons on Patreon.
If you want to be one of my shout out patrons in the future, check the link in the description and become one of my
Patreon babies. Also we're sending out a box full of fun things that I put together myself
next month to some of the patrons so...
You might want to get in on that.
One of them will probably include Ziggy because he won't stop eating my doors!
What an a**hole. Okay, bye!
Dodie: I fantasize about...
Someone else being restrained and not being able to move, and me...
Doing whatever. Stevie: That is so hot Dodie!
Stevie: Okay bye! Dodie: There you go! (laughing)