Heya playas, it's the Josh and I'm here with PatDoesIt (Hey) and iIMAGINEblank (Hello).
So we're gonna share with you a bunch of embarrassing stories so you can see that, you know, just
because you dealt with a lot of stuff growing up or you're dealing with it now that it's
not the end of the world.
The stuff that you're about to hear actually happened and you're not gonna look at me the
same way afterward.
This is my first impression to you because I don't really know who you are.
But now you're gonna know a lot about me and her and Josh.
Maybe some stuff you're not gonna like.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
Picture, middle school, middle school dance in the gymnasium which is decorated terribly.
It's like three people who actually care showed up with, you know, streamers, three balloons,
one's deflated.
There's this girl that I really liked and she was a dancer.
I don't mean like she can do the macarena, I mean like she was a dancer for her entire
life.
She came up to me and said "Hey, do you dance?".
Not do you want to dance, which is a weird thing like, do you dance?
Like, yes.
Oh ok bye.
Then she could have ended it right there but she didn't.
And she goes "Oh like you know, professionally" so like "Oh... yes".
Never lie to a girl because she's going to eventually find out that you're lying to her.
So I lied to her like "I totally dance professionally" and she's like "so what dance academy do you
belong to?"
And I'm like Mary's, the one over on the road that you drive on, totally off the drive.
So she's like "Yea", like she pretended she knew what I was talking about which, God bless
her soul for like going along with it, right?
The big song at the time was "Lean Back" by Fat Joe so she was doing like, these kind
of moves and I'm trying to imitate what she's doing, right and it's not working.
White people just never can do this correctly.
She goes, oh yea yea, so let's do our moves together and so the whole circle was just
kind of like formed where it's like, the dance battles about to happen.
She does her moves and everyone's like yea!
Then she goes "oh come on Pat, you know how to dance right?"
so I get into the center and I'm like.
The whitest thing you could possibly do, just picture this like, some pasty white dude.
And so everyone starts laughing and they're kind of like oh ok, he's just playing around,
now he's gonna bust out the real moves.
And everyone kind of pauses, the music is playing like ok bye and then I run out of
there.
Didn't talk to that girl for probably another 6 months.
Turns out, she thought I was gay so nothing was going to happen, um, moral of the story
is just don't lie to people.
So there was a guy in high school that I really really liked, we ended up dating it worked
out terribly.
Um, that's how that ended.
He was great, it didn't really work.
He was a terrible boyfriend (He didn't kick puppies), yea.
He actually called me a mutt once though.
I don't even understand how that makes sense.
I don't know, what?
It doesn't.
(Guys) All the guys out there.
If you want a girl, do the opposite of what you just said.
Before this guy and I started going out, you know, he's talking to me in the hallway.
I am not very coordinated and so I sometimes will just trip while standing still and that's
exactly what happened.
Where I'm just standing by the lockers and I just kind of lose my balance and so I start
falling and thinking "Oh, I don't want to show him that I'm falling" so instead I'll
put out my elbow and just lean on the lockers.
Except I never actually reached the locker and I was just kinda leaning into space, trying
to be all cool.
And then finally I just put my hand down and I said "You know everything you're saying
is so interesting".
But then no, he was like "Did you just trip while standing there?"and I'm like "Yes.
I'm so sorry.
I'm a failure at life, please forgive me".
That boy didn't work out right?
Yes, yea.
yea.
You know, doesn't even matter now.
I have no idea where he is.
(He moved on) He deleted his Facebook account, I can't even stalk him.
There was a girl in the 5th grade, she had twin sisters so they were twins and you know
like, when there's twins there's always a good one and a bad one?
Ok, well hold on.
If they're identical then I don't know.
(You know, there just is, you know?)
I never know how to tell her that I liked her and you know, one day I'm playing a game
called asses up.
If you don't know what asses up is, pretty much it's a game where you throw a ball against
a wall and as the ball falls down someone has to catch it.
If someone catches it you have to run to the wall so that, like, the person who catches
it has to peg you with the ball.
So the girl that I like comes over to me and my friends.
We're a bunch of these like rowdy ruff boys and we're like "Yea" you know.
And she comes over and she's like "Hey guys, I wanna play" and we're all like "Nah, you're
a girl" you know how it works, it's like.
Girls can't play with a guy back then, it's like no.
Separation.
So we let her play with us and now I'm thinking man, this is my chance.
This is my chance to show her that I like her.
If I could just get it out there so, you know, she comes over and throws the ball.
You know I beat everyone to it, I catch the ball and I'm like yea, I'm gonna show her.
So she's standing there and she's like you know, what do I do now?
And I'm like, oh you gotta run against the wall.
So she casually starts jogging, running over thinking, ok, this is a fun game.
And I take the ball and I start winding up.
I've never thrown a pitch so fast and so hard in my life, like literally if there was a
baseball scout there, I would have got picked up.
I would have been on the Yankees by this time.
And I chucked that ball so hard towards her, because you're supposed to tag a person with
the ball and she turns around at the last second and the ball hits her right in the
nose.
And she just starts gushing blood and tears and blood and everything's coming down her
face and she's crying and she doesn't know what's going on and I'm standing there thinking,
man does she know that I like her now?
What if right, like as she was turning around she was gonna be like "I have feelings for
y-" and you just like nailed her in the face.
Tanja, don't lie down on the floor.
Come sit with us.
Surprise special guest, Totally Tanja is here.
I hope that you guys understand that embarrassing stuff happens to everybody.
It's totally normal, more embarrassing stuff is probably going to happen to you.
Looking back at these stories that you think are the end of the world when you're going
through them and they're not.
You move on, you keep going forward.
You can laugh about it later, I think that's it.
You can laugh about these embarrassing stories in maybe 5 years, give it 5 years.
Alright guys, so thank you so much for watching if you want you can check out every single
person here's channel, I'm gonna put it in the description below.
As always guys, love and peace.
Yea, awesome yea.
We're great!
Just don't, don't tell these stories when you first meet somebody.
Yea, like right now.
Come, come!
You popped in the back, you can't disappear again.
Continuity, continuity.
Why are you hiding?
You can just like sit there, you're like hiding.