We all have those times where we lack confidence and we don't feel good about
ourselves but when low self-esteem becomes a
long-term problem well that's when it can have a harmful effect
on our day-to-day lives and on our mental health in this week's video
we're looking at practical tips that can help improve your self-esteem
now before we begin running through the tips let's first learn
what is self-esteem what is the definition of it because this is really
going to help us when we learn how to improve our
self-esteem so in short self-esteem is the opinion that we have
of ourselves when we have a healthy self-esteem
we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about our life in general
which in turn makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs
but when our self-esteem is low well this is when we tend to see ourselves
and our life in a more negative and critical light
which in turn makes us feel less able to take on challenges
that life throws at us which leads us on to our next question
what exactly causes low self-esteem low self-esteem
often begins in childhood you see our teachers
friends siblings parents and even the media
send us positive and negative messages about ourselves
but for some reason the message that you are not good enough
is the one that stays with you perhaps you found it difficult to live up to
other people's expectations of you or to your own expectations stress and
difficult life events such as serious illness or a bereavement
can also have a negative effect on our self-esteem
now personality can also play a part some people
are more prone to negative thoughts while others set impossibly high
standards for themselves so we now know all about low self-esteem
and what causes it which is great but the next question is
how do we improve our self-esteem great question we can now move on to
that let's run through it the first thing we all need to do to
boost our self-esteem is to identify our negative beliefs that
we have about ourselves and challenge them now let's say for
example you want to apply for a new job and you think to yourself oh i'm not
good enough for that job or they're not going to care about me to
even apply for that job these are the kinds of negative thoughts that i'm
talking about and sometimes you might be so used to doing it that
you don't even realize you're having all of these negative thoughts and
negative beliefs about yourself so the first thing you need to do is
keep a diary of these negative thoughts write them down write as much
information as you can when it came about what the thought was
what time of the day it was what were you doing at the time
as much information as possible next you need to start writing some evidence that
challenges those negative beliefs like what are you good at for example
i'm really good at working in teams i'm good at listening and write down
other positive things about yourself too like
i'm thoughtful i'm someone that others trust i make a great cup of tea
also write some good things that other people say about you
and aim to have at least five positive things on your list
and add to it regularly if you think of something when you're out
write it on your phone and add it to your list when you get back home
and once you're done with the list place it somewhere that you can see it
every single day and that way you can keep reminding yourself that you know
what you're okay in fact you're more than
okay you're awesome now you may have low confidence or low self-esteem because of
what happened to you when you're growing up
but please remember this you can grow and develop new ways of seeing yourself
at any age the next tip is to build positive relationships if you have
certain people in your life certain friends
who constantly bring you down say hurtful things to you
speak to them let them know how their words make you feel
and if they don't change try to spend less time with them and build new
relationships with positive people people who appreciate you another
important point is learning to be assertive
now being assertive is about respecting other people's opinions and needs
and expecting the same from them one useful trick is to look at other people
who act assertively and learn from them it's not about
pretending you're someone you're not it's picking up hints and tips from
people you admire and letting the real you come out which
leads us on nicely to my next point learning to say no look people with low
self-esteem they tend to feel like they always have
to say yes to other people even when they don't really want to so
this comes with an added risk of becoming overburdened
angry resentful and even depressed for most parts
saying no does not upset a relationship but it might also be worth learning how
to say no and saying it in different ways until
that person gets the message the next point i want to raise is taking
on a new challenge look we all feel nervous at times when
we're starting a new challenge or a new thing this is normal
but if you remember when we have a healthy self-esteem
we don't let these feelings stop us from taking on something new
or a new challenge and we know that setting yourself these goals and
challenges like for example going to an exercise
class or going to social occasions achieving these goals or challenges is
going to really help improve your self-esteem
now in addition to everything we just spoke about you also need to look after
yourself so what do i mean by that well you need to get plenty of sleep aim
for eight to nine hours per night eat a healthy balanced diet to keep your
mood and energy levels up exercise often as this can be really
helpful for your mental well-being and improving your self-esteem and spend
time outside spending time in green places can really
help your well-being you also need to avoid any recreational
drugs smoking and alcohol some people use
these as a way to cope with difficult feelings about themselves
but in the long run they can make you feel worse and they can prevent you from
dealing with the underlying problems i will also leave more information on
this topic in the description below so please feel free to check it out so i
really feel that we're starting to get somewhere now which leads me on to my
next point please celebrate success no matter how
small it is celebrate it praise yourself look at
what you did and compliment yourself accept compliments all of these are
great things as well that you can add to the list that we spoke about earlier
look living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and it can lead
to depression and anxiety it can also mean that you
develop unhealthy habits for example smoking
and drinking too much as a way of coping which is why it's really important to
know when and where to find help for low self-esteem
as psychological therapies like counselling or cognitive behavioral
therapy these can be really helpful now the good
news is that you can self-refer for these services
through the nhs website which i will leave a link to in the description below
but if you do prefer you can always speak to your gp or other healthcare
professional first i really hope my tips in this video help
you please do let us know how you get on and if you have any of your own tips
please leave a comment below too because i'd love to read it and i'm sure
everyone watching this video would love to read it too
that's the end of the video always remember you're awesome and i will see
you next week look live in wislow
look look living willow look look
you you may have low confidences
look if you have friends that constantly bring you down
and say hi oh yeah oh yeah baby hey guys thanks for
watching this week's video make sure to click that like follow or subscribe
button now to stay up to date with new weekly
videos
you