This could get spooky, Boo! (Boo laughs)
It's time to check out the most *scarily* bad "SpongeBob" CreepyPastas ever written!
It might've bee written by you, me, or that weird guy down the street named Barloq.
While SpongeBob is normally a fairly predictable, cheery fellow...
He can do some *twisted, terrifying* things in these abysmal CreepyPasta stories.
And, if you did happen to write one of these, first off...
Thanks for making something we can all get a smile off of.
And two, try not to take it personally, I'm only criticizing the stories and not you as a person.
I hope you keep writing, and improving.
Hood: Hey! That's my line!
Strider: Oh, hey! If it isn't the CreepyPasta expert himself, good to see you Dennis!
Hood: Hi, there, Strider! It's good to be here!
You'll need help to cover *these* "SpongeBob CreepyPastas."
They're far too horrifyingly bad fo one person to read alone!
Strider: You may be right. Well, let's check them out together then!
Let's check out the "Top 6 *Worst* SpongeBob CreepyPastas!"
Just a heads up that we will be story-telling some graphic, but also incredibly ridiculous scenes!
But if you don't mind that, we hope you enjoy.
Number six...
"SpongeBob You're Fired" (2014)
"SpongeBob You're Fired" is a controversial real life bootleg tape...
(Sarcastically) Never heard that before...
Featuring an unaired episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants."
"SpongeBob You're Fired" was 'creatid'.. by a now imprisoned unknown 'animatear' ...
For the series, who.. intended to pass the tape off as the Season 4 'Premiarr' episode...
And features SpongeBob getting fired from The Krusty Krab.
Hood:The bootleg tape itself was found in Dec. 2004 by a group of 5 teenagers from the city--
Rummaging around in a trash can within an abandoned mental institution.
Strider: Of these 5 individuals, 2 have mysteriously vanished...
One has gone missing...
While another refuses to comment on the tape!
And the last hastily agreed to give paranormal investigators the tape shortly after being interviewed.
The current whereabouts of the tape is unknown...
But there are rumors there is a copy of the tape locked up in the 'vaultzz' of Nickelodeon studios!
Hood: They say that only a short sequence of the tape could be viewed...
The episode begins with static before it cuts to the intro.
After the intro ends, it replays the intro, this time in slow-mo and the noise is louder.
Slow-Mo Intro: SpongeBob SquarePants!!!
(Intro becomes too distorted to comprehend)
Strider: The title reads out "SpongeBob You're Fired!"
And it cuts to the show. The episode begins with SpongeBob 'marrily' perparing a Krabby Patty.
But then Mr. 'Krabzz' bursts through the door.. saying, "SpongeBob, 'Yarr Ferd!'"
*Record needle scratch* Hood: Do you supposed they mean fired?
Strider: I have no idea. Let's check the dictionary!
Oh! Here we go!
It turns out Ferd is a family-owned Norwegian investment company --
Committed to value-creating ownership of busniess and investments in financial assets!
So Mr. Krabs must be saying SpongeBob symbolically represents Norway's...
Exceptional improvement upon the value of their small business economy!
Hood: Are you sure?
Strider: Oh! Who am I kidding? This story is just awful! I vote a skip!
Hood: I second that, but, in case the viewers are wondering--
The episode ends with SpongeBob getting fired and depressed much like the real episode.
Strider: In fact, this "lost episode" is apparently so depressing...
That Stephen Hillenburg gets thrown in jail for it at the end!
That's almost as badly received as the *real* "SpongeBob You're Fired" episode.
Hood: Number 5!
Strider: "Theh Storry off Squidwarrrxxxx (2017)
One I wanted to watch some "SpongeBob SquarePants," so I turned on my TV.
I was in luck!
There was an episode on right now!
(Distorted intro plays)
And it just got to the last part of the intro!
'It was' wondering which episode I was playing when we saw the title.
"Theh Storry Off Squidwarrrxxxx"
The background was 'Squadward' smiling at the screen...
Though he looked more.. 'sinniester' than normal.
Hood: The 'bubblies' flooded the screen and the show started.
Squidward was dancing in his room when SpongeBob suddenly bursts in 'though' the second floor window.
Mock SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward! Hi Squidward! Hi, Squidward! Hi, Squidward! Hi, Squidward!
Hood (normal): He begins to shout over and over using his goofy voice.
Strider: 'Iv had enuff,' Squidward shouts. 'im' taking the easy way out.
Then before my very eyes, he jump 'though' his second floor window.
The show fades to black when he was jumping out; then, words appeared on the screen..
"This is Theh Storry Off Squidwarrrxxxx"
And then, the TV melted.
Hood: That's it?
That seemed more silly than scary to me.
Strider: I dunno, it'd be pretty scary if my TV melted.
It's probably make golden YouTube material (mumbles).
Hood: Well.... Maybe the next one will be scarier!
Strider: Y-yeah! I heard the next one is even more terrifying!
Hood: Number 4!
Strider: "Spongebob Vietnam" (2014)
It was the year 2008! The Krusty Krab, owned by.. owner Krabs.. was destroyed by a 'motobov!'
'Im' and his daughter Pearl burned 'aliv' in their 'saf room' for 'cre-at-ing' a monopoly in the hamburger business.
Hood: The leader of the rebellion, Plankton, & the seals he rode with, all of them strapped with AK's & 'motolovs!'
Strider: After the death of Krabs, SpongeBob ran the company into the 'dirty!'
And ended up selling it to Plankton in a million dollar deal!
After SpongeBob was convicted for publicly flashing the town during his...
Best Day Ever!
He *vowed* to get revenge!
Hood: He, along with the now unemployed Squidward, and the fat, drunk Patrick Star to kill Plankton.
Strider: After they gather up the remains of The Krusty Krab...
They arm themselves to the teeth with heavy weaponry!
Patrick wields a chain gun, with bullets and 'sashay' wrapping around his body!
Squidward is in charge to blow up the bored out Krusty Krab and the Chum Bucket!
Using his.. 'morteer' shells, and his...
Handy-dandy mobile artillery gun!? (*Gun cocks*)
Hood: As SpongeBob... 'mobes' (chuckles) "Mobes?"
As SpongeBob 'mobes' out, he approaches the Chum Bucket & sees 2 armed seals right outside the front gate.
SpongeBob takes it first and gets a collateral shot.
Strider: Brain matter and blood splatters all over the front doors of the Chum Bucket...
Meanwhile, Squidward arms the artillery.
And *fires* at the front door!
BLOWING them off the.. 'hingis'?
And killing.. hundreds of seals!
Hood: Meanwhile, Patrick drives his rock through the door and revs up his minigun.
Mock-Patrick: Pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!
Hood: Patrick says and he starts mowing down all the henchmen in the building.
Strider: After killing hundreds of guards...
Actual Patrick: Hey look, a Yo-yo!
Strider: Patrick is shot by a velocity round!
He falls off his rock and behind cover as 'Spungbob' is ambushed by one of the guards who is missing an arm!
He struggles as Patrick is.. 'gannged' up on by the guards as they start beating the sugar out of Patrick...
Blood pools at the guards' feet, as Patrick is beaten and broken!
But not dead!
Mock Patrick: Why are we still here!?
Strider: Patrick yells out loud as he pulls the pin on his grenade --
Killing everyone except SpongeBob!
Hood: Squidward loads up the Mortar launcher and fires a mortar into the top-side of the building --
And kills Plankton's wife, Karen.
Karen: Oh boy...
Hood: Squidward runs, screaming into the Chum Bucket.
Strider: Squidward.. picks a few guards?
But then hears Plankton's laugh echoing around the room!
A giant artillery comes out from the wall, and blows a hole right through Squidward's chest --
And blows it into a million pieces!
The only one left is SpongeBob.
He walks upstairs and sees Plankton holding a red button.
He charges at Plankton yelling, "REEEEEEEEEEEE!" --
Grabbing him with one hand, and smashing him against the wall!
He then pulls out him M1911 and BLOWS Plankton into a million pieces!
Hood: However...
The red button Plankton dropped initiated a nuclear bomb --
That was set to destroy the entirety of Bikini Bottom.
As he realizes it's too late, he lets out one final (SpongeBob laugh) as the final explosion--
NUKES Bikini Bottom back to the stone age!
Whew, well I can honestly say, that. Was. *Glorious!*
I mean sure, it sounds like it was written by a Call of Duty obsessed 9 year-old, but ...
Jeebus! This kid was passionate about writing a SpongeBob war drama!
Hood: It does feel like the writer put a lot of effort into this one.
It didn't seem that scary though, it more seems kind of...
Weird.
Strider: Well don't worry, I hear the next one is *really* scary!
Hood: And the third worst SpongeBob CreepyPasta is...
SpongeBob's WORST Day Ever! (2011)
Just a warning ahead to viewers that I've heard this story gets *very* scary!
Apparently it makes "Five Nights At Freddie's" look like a birthday party!
Are you ready Dennis?
Hood: Alright. I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Let's check this story out.
Strider: SpongeBob was having a rough day at the Krusty 'Krub' ...
They were out of napkins.
When a customer asked for salt, SpongeBob 'akkidentalie' gave him pepper, and then...
The fryer broke!
Hood: Worst of all, he burnt a Krabby Patty and had to throw it away!
SpongeBob sobbed his heart out.
Strider: "Why!!!???" SpongeBob cried.
SpongeBob: (Sniveling) No! Not that! Anything but that!
Strider: Then, he heard Squidward yell at him...
Mock Squidward: It's just a stupid patty you moron! Now shut up and get me my order!
Mock SpongeBob: Yes, Squidward.
SpongeBob moaned miserably.
Hood: It was finally the end of SpongeBob's shift, SpongeBob put away his Krusty Krab hat and said...
"G-gudbye?"
To it and kissed it good night.
When he finally got home he called his best friend, Patrick.
Strider: They talked for hours and hours. At 2 AM, SpongeBob said he 'wus' going to put a 'gunnn' to 'hus' --
Head for he was screwing 'thungs' up left and right.
Mock Patrick: What!? You can't SpongeBob! You're my best friend!
Strider: Patrick said 'histericly.'
Mock SpongeBob: Sorry Patrick, but I can't live with myself after what I did today.
You'll just have to find a new best friend!
Hood: SpongeBob got a 'gnnn' and walked over to Patrick's rock.
He knocked on the rock and Patrick came out.
He looked like doomsday was 'tumurow' which, in fact, it was.
Mock Patrick: SpongeBob, are you sure you want to do this?
Hood: Patrick asked.
Mock SpongeBob: I'm sure Patrick.
Hood: SpongeBob said.
SpongeBob slowly lifted the 'gnnn' and switched off from 'safty' mode.
Strider: SponeBob 'wulk' up 'beheend' the bush and stuck up the 'gnnn' to his forehead.
Mock SpongeBob: Good-bye, Patrick! And good-bye Bikini Bottom!
Strider: SpongeBob yelled, and pulled the trigger.
But nothing happened!
SpongeBob pulled 'teh' trigger again and still, nothing happened!
He looked at the 'gnnn' and noticed it was a toy 'gnnn'!
Mock Patrick: Yay! Now you won't shoot 'yur' bullets!
Strider: Patrick walked up to his friend and put his hand on his shoulder.
Mock Patrick: I know what will make you feel better; a vanilla ice cream cone with sprinkles, & extra chocolate -
On top!
Mock SpongeBob: I'd like that a lot, Pat.
Hood: So they went off to get their ice cream.
Hood: Oh, come on! That wasn't scary at all!
Strider: Huh, well I get the toy 'gnnn' was kinda scary?
This one isn't even really a CreepyPasta. I guess it's just a.. regular Pasta?
With grated cheese?
Why do they call it pasta anyway?
And, the second worst SpongeBob CreepyPasta is...
"Fear of the Krabby Patty" (2016)
Hood reading: Hi, my name is !
I've been a huge fan of "SpongeBob SquarePants" series!
Why am I not anymore?
You will find out.
Strider voice: One day, I was walking through town, looking for some "SpongeBob" episodes.
I've been in every store.
Then, in the middle of 'no. where?' I saw some spooky shop.
'It' name was Spooky Shop.
I was interested, so I decided to 'tiki ee' look.
There was only 1 DVD, with two episodes titled "Fear of the Krabby Patty - Part 1," --
And "Fear of the Krabby Patty - Part 2."
Hood: "Fear of the Krabby Patty" is an actual real episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants" --
from Season 3, so I decided to 'bought' it.
It cost only $3
Everything was normal, theme song and title card.
(Heavily distorted theme song playing)
But it wasn't that episode.
"Fear of the Krabby Patty" starts with Squidward and SpongeBob working at the Krusty Krab.
But this episode began with Patrick in his rock.
I was confused.
Patrick just 'sitted' there and watched TV.
Very strange. On he watched some porn.
Some actual porn. Not those Sea-Porn SpongeBob watched in "Your Shoe's Untied."
Some real .... effiing porns.
I was confused. I was just waited for Patrick to start (hesitates) gratifying himself...
But he didn't!
He just turned TV off and went to Krusty Krab.
Patrick asked for one Krabby Patty.
SpongeBob make him one, and Patrick ate it.
Hood: Patrick's eyes turn red once he eat Krabby Patty.
I was afraid.
He thanked SpongeBob for a Krabby Patty and went home.
At home, he was looking at TV, but nothing was on.
His eyes were still read.
He took 'a' ax, and left his house.
Episode ended.
Strider: I was afraid to watch second part. But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to watch.
Episode start with Patrick killing every fish in Bikini Bottom.
After he finished he went to Krusty Krab and 'attemped' to kill SpongeBob.
But he couldn't remember SpongeBob has a regerative capacity so he couldn't get killed.
Patrick just.. Ate him!
Episode ended!
I threw DVD out and went to my parents who were in living room.
No, they are not dead. I just sat there and watched TV with them.
The end.
Hood: Uh... Strider? These CreepyPastas aren't all that uh...
Creepy.
Strider: Well, erm... I was saving the best for last! Wait until you see the last one!
And the number one, *worst* "SpongeBob" CreepyPasta is...
"SpongeBob: The Truth" (2015)
I used to like SpongeBob! I always did!
But, what I just saw scared the 'bajeejeesuz' out of me!
Hood: One time, when I was messing around on Go Animate, I found a video from someone named --
XXXTentacio (laughing out of story) No... (back to story) XXX Triherdnooscoper XXX --
That claims to have a lost episode of "SpongeBob."
Strider: The download link was in the description.
I checked the download link, and I downloaded it.
Then in finished downloading.
It started out with the normal theme song.
Slowed down opening: Sponge .. Bob .. Square .. Pants!
Strider: But something was off. There was hyper-realistic blood everywhere.
Or I think it is ketchup, nevermind, it's ketchup.
W-when the theme song ended, the title card read...
"SpongeBob: The Truth!!!"
I continued to watch it because I was so curious that I didn't even bother trying to stop myself --
From watching this piece of...
Shootery...
Hood: SpongeBob sppeared in his house. He has black eyes and ~hyper-realistic~ blood came out of them!
It was so realistic, I didn't know what reality is anymore.
Then, SpongeBob told the forbidden truth about himself.
Here is what he said...
Mock SpongeBob: To whom it may concern, I am exposing myself because I have no life anymore.
We are all living in Purgatory because we are dead from the nuke that 'hitted' here!
I must kill myself!
Strider: SpongeBob killed 'humself' in 'excustiating' detail.
I smashed my computer because it's so hyper-realistic that it's boring.
SpongeBob appeared in real life!
Mock SpongeBob: You're next!
Strider: Said SpongeBob.
Then SpongeBob killed me...
My brother found me laying there, dead.
My brother turned Super Saiyan
The had an epic fight...
Ha ha ha ha ha...
Also, I am a ghost now.
Never watch lost episodes of "SpongeBob."
Oh no, it's 'Spongeboo-gdisgikdfiaduiafaweew'
If you're reading this, I 'sended' him to Hell.
By the way, you're next.
Hood: What the hell was that!?
Strider: I have no idea!
But I can safely say, without a doubt ...
That was one of the most simultaneously stupid, and amazing things I've ever read!
Hood: Terribly we now know the truth of SpongeBob.
Strider: And the truth was glorious!
It's sometimes said the characters are more alive in our minds than they are in the creators' minds.
And good-all that, I think CreepyPastas are the perfect example of that.
Whether well-written or not, all these stories show the fans' affection for the original cartoon.
And that itself is worth respecting!
So to whoever wrote these, thank you for writing them. And giving us an extra smile today.
And thank you, Dennis, for coming on the show.
Dennis: Hey, any time, Strider.
Hood: Glad I helped make these CreepyPastas a little more fun for the Internet.
Strider:And thank you for watching! And I'll see you next time!
The show fades to black when he was (fails to hold back laughter, which only increases)
The background was...
"Squadward" (starts laughing again) oh my god, this script...
The background was...
(Bursts laughing)
*Subtitled by Jadrek Myers. Commissioned by Phantom Strider. Spell-check, & keep writing.*