First up is my lovely husband, Aris.
[CHEERING]
All right.
Hey.
OK.
Hey.
Can you do me a favor?
Can you take a picture?
Just so you guys can keep this moment.
I'm airdropping to all you ladies.
Oh, OK.
OK. [MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Like 1, 2 3.
Look at that.
You guys can hold on to this moment too.
Wow.
All right.
That is a confident man.
Aris-- he's feeling himself a little bit too much right now.
All right, and next up, we have Shaq.
[CHEERING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
(SINGING) Show me what you're cooking.
Oh, let me see--
Wow, look at that tie.
That's my husband.
[CHEERING]
Shaq looks dapper as always.
He looks amazing.
He's a little nervous, you can tell.
He's standing, he's walking, he's not
really sure what's going on.
But he looks good doing it.
Next up, we have Chris.
[CHEERING]
Let's go, Chris!
That's my man!
Yes, Chris!
That's my man!
[CHEERING]
- Yeah! - Yes, Chris.
Get your own, Chris.
[INAUDIBLE], Chris.
Give the people what they want, Chris.
[CHEERING]
Yes, Chris!
Let's go!
Let's go, Chris.
All right, Shaq, your time to wear some hair.
[LAUGHTER]
Yes!
Yeah!
Oh!
[LAUGHTER]
Come on, help me out.
Help me.
Kids, do not try this at home.
Hear me out, hear me out.
Will they like that?
You got to slow it down, got to slow it down.
My god.
You got to make sure it's sown down, Shaq.
You got to sow it down, you got to sow it down.
Jada, get me together.
Let's all welcome Clint.
- Yes, Clint! - Come on!
Oh my god.
Come on-- oh, where-- where your shirt at?
Come on, Clint.
Daddy's coming.
Yes!
Come on, Clint.
I like the hair.
Give the people what they want.
I like this look, Clint.
I'm scare of you.
This looks-- you got on cologne?
[CHEERING]
Do I smell cologne?
- You're on fire. - Come on, Clint.
Go Clint. Go Clint.
Go Clint.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Yeah!
Clint, he's looking like the god of all wolves, honestly.
And I'm like, oh yes.
Like, with the sexy chest hair and the belly button
out right now.
I'm like, oh wow.
Although, Clint should definitely
worn a suit right now, I'm still dekeing his outfit.
All right now.
All right, we're going to start with on-stage
portion of competition. - Woo!
Remember, you get 30 seconds to answer.
OK?
So don't give us any stories today.
OK?
All right, if you were a marriage
counselor, what would be your biggest piece of advice?
[SIGHS].
Tough question.
It would be learn to love yourself and then
spread that love amongst everyone else.
If I was a marriage counselor, my biggest piece of advice
was focus on your own happiness.
When you focus on your own self, you become your best self,
and you show up in your marriage.
And you bring the other person joy,
but you actually have to be happy for yourself.
Always be true to who you are and show that unapologetically
the whole time.
Find out what turns your partner on, especially
as the husband in the relationship,
find out what makes your wife tick
and just love her properly in the way
that she needs to be loved.
Good job.
Woo.
Second question, the divorce rate in the United States
is nearly 50%.
If you were president, what would be your plan
to fix the divorce rate?
I would change the legal age of marriage to 30 years old.
I don't feel like people before the age of 30
really know who they are.
Give marriage counseling for free to married couples.
Give every married couple some money
to spend on their loved one to take care of them,
just like a national day to just take care of them
and just spoil them and treat them well.
I would have a penalty for divorce,
where you would have to give everything to your spouse.
[LAUGHS]
Claps for Clint, everyone.
Well, damn.
He really trying to win.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
And the final question, do you still
believe traditional marriage roles hold up today?
I believe the traditional marriage roles had definitely
switched with society.
Women are stepping up more than men to become more independent.
The wife can go work, why not?
Like, she doesn't need to stay at home and things like that.
[SIGHS] I think they do, but not like they used to.
I think it's-- people don't have the same sanctity
in marriage that they used to.
You should define the roles in your own marriage.
Women are being educated at, like, a higher rate.
Women are CEOs.
But if a bear comes, I'm going to go out and protect
you ladies from the bear. - Thank you.
Great job, fellas.
[CLAPPING]
So who answered that question the best?
This is tough.
It's hard because they all--
They all deserve--
--did a great job.
--like first place.
We had to rank the men from 1 to 4 for each category,
and then they each got a certain amount of points.
And if there could have been four winners,
I would have picked them all.
The esteemed panel of judges, we have deliberated.
We're going to have you stand up.
- Really proud of all of you. - Yeah.
So proud of you.
At pageants-- I mean, as pageant girls,
we hold hands, if y'all all want to link arms--
- Do it. - Wrap-- you know, yeah.
- We hold hands? - Yeah.
OK.
Here we go, guys.
We're going to start with third runner up.
The title is Mr. Courageous and Outrageous.
And that is going to--
Clint.
[CHEERING]
Good job, Clint. - OK.
Wow.
Mr. Courageous and Outrageous.
Wow.
It's the belly button.
That's impressively disappointing.
[LAUGHTER]
All right, second runner up.
His title is Mr. Style and Swag.
And that is going to--
Shaq.
[CHEERING] - OK.
All right.
There you go, baby.
OK.
All right, we're down to our final two.
I think they do like this.
Yeah, you're supposed to hold hands--
OK, that works too.
All right.
This next award, our first runner up, Mr. Showstopper.
Showstopper.
And that is going to--
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Oh my god, this is killing me.
Oh, I can't take it.
That's going to Chris.
[CHEERING]
Yeah!
No, it's going to Chris.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not your turn yet.
Oh.
What the-- deduct a point here.
[LAUGHS]
That is going to Chris.
Good job, Chris.
And our Mr. Couples Retreat King is going to my husband--
There we go.
--Aris.
[CHEERING]
Yes, sir.
We all can crown the sash.
Come on, y'all.
Be proud and sash him.
I am 1,000% proud of my husband because he killed it.
All this time I've said, I'm just this little pageant
queen looking for my king.
And now I have an official king.
Boom.
We're here.
Oh my gosh.
My first-- my first pageant and I won.
This feels great.
You know, I'm ready to defend my crown.
So like, any husbands out there if you
want to smoke, like, pull up.
We could do this any time.
I'm ready.
Oh. OK.
Yeah.
- Congratulations, king. - Thank you.
Thank you.
Well done.