Something classy, you know, like a Revolutionary War General, Napoleon and his horse, that
kind of thing.
He is rather portly to be Napoleon.
Not Napoleon exactly.
Like Napoleon!
Why did Paulie Gultieri keep the painting of Tony and Pie-O-My?
This is perhaps one of the biggest unsolved mysteries in The Sopranos Universe, right
up there with the fate of the Russian dude who killed 16 Czechoslovakians and washed
his balls with ice water.
The interior decorator whose house looked like shit.
In The Sopranos Universe, all of the various Mobsters had a lot of things in common.
They all tended to be unfaithful, greedy, short tempered hot heads with an inclination
towards violence and corruption.
But beneath the surface, the one thing every Mobster in the show embraced was building
and protecting their own reputations.
Reputation meant a lot in the criminal underworld, and image was EVERYTHING.
You could say they were far more focused on the show than the substance.
Out of all the Mobsters in the series, Paulie is perhaps the best representation of this
omnipresent Mafia trait, where perception is more important than reality.
They all wanted to portray an image of toughness, wealth, and power, enough to convince the
others they should be taken seriously and were worthy of respect, or at least the appearance
of it.
In the long run Paulie proved to be a survivor in a world where most of the top level guys
wound up dead or in the can.
He hung in there all the way through the finale when almost everyone else, even the smarter,
more talented, and physically tougher ones were gone.
On the surface he was a loyal soldier, but the reality is that Paulie was engaged in
a constant struggle to maintain his image.
At various points in the story he was discontent, whether it was jealousy over the favorable
treatment someone like Moltisanti received from Tony, or the fact that nobody took care
of his beloved mother during Paulie’s brief stint in an Ohio Corrections Facility, or
whether it was Paulie being envious of those who were big time earners like Ralphie.
For Paulie Walnuts, it was a Red Queen dilemma where sometimes you needed to run faster and
faster just to maintain your place in the pecking order.
In the Mob world, it’s always about the size of your latest envelope.
Paulie cherished his reputation more than anything, and his envious disposition towards
high earners like Ralphie and others was sometimes more than his fragile ego could handle.
Indeed, it was his ego that caused him to sow discontent between Ralphie and Johnny
Sach by telling the New York mobster about the joke concerning the 95 pound mole on his
wife’s ass.
In one sense, he was trying to earn a spot on the New York roster.
In another, he was taking aim at the image of a rival.
Of course, once he learned Johnny was playing him and Carmine didn’t even know who the
hell he was, Paulie decided to rob (and ultimately murder) an acquaintance of his mother for
some quick easy cash, where T got his generous cut.
Beansie best described Paulie’s entire character in this clip:
He loves you, Tone.
You’re all he’s got.
You, the guys, and his image.
The entire story behind the Pie O My painting probably says more about Tony than it does
about Paulie.
Tony was the one who stole Ralphie’s woman, and he also effectively stole his horse, too.
With regards to the horse, Tony assumed the benefits without any of the responsibility,
at least up until the fateful night Pie O My became ill.
That sequence perhaps represented the most magical moment for Tony in the entire series
- even more so than the moment with the ducks, because this was a moment Tony and Pie O My
shared together along with a merry goat.
Tony always had a soft spot for animals more than people.
He attacked Moltisanti at his intervention after learning he got high and sat on a dog
and killed it.
Tony was far less generous when it came to people.
He was thus much less eager to pounce on Valentina, not because he didn’t want her, but out
of fear of going where Ralph had been.
Tony even went so far to pay his sister $3,000 to get inside information about Ralph’s
sexual perversions, before finally doing the deed with the artistic prankster.
Valentina was the one who introduced Tony to the artist who specialized in horse paintings,
and Tony was all too happy to spend another $6,500 on the painting.
Once again, the image was at play - both to impress Valentina that he had the cash for
such a splurge, but also to immortalize himself as the proud owner of a race horse.
But before the painting arrived, a few things happened.
For one Pie O My was killed in a fire, and Tony recognized that Ralph torched the horse
in an insurance scam, which led to a heated confrontation that saw Tony murder Ralph after
Ralph accused him of being a hypocrite for eating sausage and meatballs by the truckload.
Meanwhile, his stunad nephew was getting deeper into the drugs, and he was little help to
Tony in covering up Ralph’s murder, and Tony would soon after learn that his junkie
nephew killed poor little Cosette.
So by the time the painting finally arrived, Tony didn’t want it!
He wanted no part of that painting and the painful memories associated with it.
This wasn’t about murdering Ralph, it was about losing the horse he had bonded with
on that magical night with their companion goat.
THAT NIGHT was as good as it gets, and as good as it ever got for Tony Soprano - the
only moment he may have truly been at peace, including the night he used peyote, where
he believed he had some spiritual breakthrough of enlightenment, but in reality he was really
just tripping balls.
Tony’s true ideal moment, the apex of his existence in the series, was undoubtedly the
magical night when he spent quality time with Pie O My and the goat!
He was at peace, believing his presence helped save the horse.
Paulie even quipped:
T with that picture.
He looked like he was gonna cry.
And still no word from Ralph?
Paulie wasn’t the brightest Mobster in The Sopranos Universe, but he wasn’t a complete
idiot, either, more cunning than outright smart.
Paulie had seemingly put the pieces together all on his own, and Sil’s expression was
seemingly one of unspoken agreement.
Tony wanted the Painting burned and destroyed, but Paulie wasn’t having it.
He stopped Little Paulie and Benny from torching the work of art.
Paulie inexplicably estimated the value of this work to be worth “25 to 30 g’s at
a minimum”.
Oof madone!
Paulie may have been sharp enough to figure out Ralphie’s fate, but he was way off the
mark here.
Paulie not only spared the painting from a flaming death, but he ultimately decided it
needed improvement.
Indeed, Paulie invested further money into the iconic art piece.
His plan to improve the masterpiece was to depict Tony with a stronger chin, and dress
him up like Napoleon.
So why did Paulie have the painting altered?
And more importantly, why the hell did he keep the painting in the first place?
For starters, Paulie may have honestly believed that the painting was worth 5-6x what it was
actually worth.
Or perhaps he was just throwing that figure out there as justification to Benny and Little
Paulie.
But that is NOT why Paulie kept the painting.
He had no intention of selling it, proudly placing it in a prominent place of honor inside
his home on full display for any and all visitors to see.
What must have been a year or more later, between the end of Season 4 and the Season
5 finale, Tony showed up unannounced at Paulie’s house, and Tony is mighty perturbed over Paulie
reportedly having beefs.
Tony sees the refined painting which makes him grow even more perturbed, complaining
that he now looks like a lawn jockey.
But he’s even more upset over being reminded of Pie O My.
You know what it does to me?
To be reminded of that fucking horse?
I’m sorry T, but you never come here no more.
I didn’t figure it would be a problem.
This is another clue that helps explain Paulie’s reasoning behind not only keeping the delightful
work of art, but also improving upon the initial masterpiece, much in the same way The Godfather
Part 2 improved upon the original classic.
Paulie proudly hung the painting in a place of honor inside his home, paying tribute to
his leader - but he never expected Tony to actually see it, because Tony never visited
him no more anyway!
So Paulie’s reasons for placing it where he did all circles back to what Beansie said
in describing Paulie.
Paulie wanted OTHERS to see it, because symbolically for Paulie, hanging that tribute to Tony inside
his home helped create the illusion that him and Tony were still close and tight, when
in reality, they no longer really were.
This was Paulie overcompensating for the fact that with each passing year, Paulie struggled
more and more to maintain his place in the pecking order.
Paulie was an aging Mobster who didn’t have a family of his own beyond his beloved mother
- whom he later learned was actually his aunt.
So he had no family of his own, and as he aged he had a harder time earning, he had
more difficulty maintaining his image, and he knew his best days as a Mobster were behind
him because he could no longer produce the type of envelope that commanded respect and
power.
Beansie nailed it, and it’s worth repeating in the context of the incredibly breathtaking
Pie-O-My painting:
He loves you, Tone.
You’re all he’s got.
You, the guys, and his image.
For Paulie Walnuts, that Painting represented a way to embrace the glory days of his former
star power as a Varsity athlete inside Tony’s inner circle.
It represented an earlier time, where Paulie was a good earner, Paulie was a tough and
respected wise guy, and Paulie had the approval and admiration of his Boss and all of their
made peers in the Mafia.
For Paulie Walnuts, that painting of Pie O My represented the good ol’ days back when
he was in his prime, something he desperately wanted to maintain, even as his ambition and
desire dwindled.
It is a testament to how far the Jersey mob has fallen at the end of the series that Paulie
is the only original one left, even despite his decline.
Thank you very much for watching everyone, I hope you enjoyed, and have a wonderful night!
Hey, I got no arc either.
I was born, grew up, spent a few years in the army, a few more in the can, and here
I am, a half a wiseguy.
So what?
You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50, then you add up all your
menial sins and multiply that by 25.
You add’em together, and that’s your sentence.
Did you sniff that girl’s panties?
He told you that?
Fucking babe!
You gotta apologize.
Mother fucker.
T, I’m not apologizing.
You were out of line.
He’s gonna marry the girl for Chrissakes.
As of the wedding day, anything that touches her pussy is off limits.
Put it down on docking station, Listen to this prick giving orders.
You got some balls my friend.
Whoops!
Paulie.
You think the cold bothers me?
I wash my balls with ice water!
Shut the fuck up.
How far is it to Atlantic City?
The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando!
He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed!
Get the fuck outta here.
Yeah.
Nice, huh?
He was with the Interior Ministry.
You're not gonna believe this.
He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians.
The guy was an interior decorator.
His house looked like shit.
What now?
Chrissy’s head is bleeding and I’m freezing to death!
That’s what’s fucking now!
Hey!
Take it easy!
I’m through taking it easy!
We’re fucking starving out here!
Your door was open.
I brought you something from my Ma.
What are you doing in my house?
Take it easy.
I didn’t know you were home.
Your car was gone.
That’s why dinosaurs don’t exist no more.
Wasn’t it a meteor?
They’re all meat eaters!
Meteor!
Take it easy.
And it comes framed?
Exactly as you see that one.
6,500.
Alright you gotta deal.
$3,000.
How did you come up with that figure?
It’s a number I thought you’d say yes to.
You thought right.
Bahhh!
It was a fucking horse!
What are you a vegetarian?
You eat beef and sausage by the fucking carload!
Still this thing with the dog - how could you not see it on the chair?
You’re getting emotional, Tony.
That’s ‘cause I know what it’s like to lose a pet!
T with that picture.
He looked like he was gonna cry.
And still no word from Ralph?
A classy piece like this?
A forest with the trees, a wooden frame?
25 to 30 g’s at a minimum!
This grill does all the work for you, with my exclusive 20 minute digital countdown timer.
Something classy, you know, like a Revolutionary War General, Napoleon and his horse, that
kind of thing.
He is rather portly to be Napoleon.
Not Napoleon exactly.
Like Napoleon!
You know what it does to me?
To be reminded of that fucking horse?
I’m sorry T, but you never come here no more.
I didn’t figure it would be a problem.
Something that captures more of what you’re really all about.
A god damned lawn jockey?
That’s not a lawn jockey.
That’s a General.
He loves you, Tone.
You’re all he’s got.
You, the guys, and his image.
Oh fuck it.