Hey there, this is Clay and today I'm going to answer a question about how long you should
be using, the no contact rule, the active no contact rule.
Now, as you know, a Mika and I were the creators of the active no contact rule, which is fundamentally
very different from the regular no contact rule that I'm sure you've probably heard about
a billion places.
And if you're just following the regular no contact rule, I think it really depends on
how long you should follow it.
Some people say like a month, some people say like six months.
Some people say I don't know anything between, and I can't really speak to that because personally
I don't think that the regular no contact rule is effective in any way whatsoever.
So it really doesn't matter how long you do it because it's not going to do anything.
However, if you follow our advice and do the active no contact rule, you know that that's
kind of a little bit murky as well.
We generally recommend about 30 days or a month, just as like a good starting place
for most people.
However it is possible to go through it in a shorter amount of time or sometimes it might
take a longer amount of time.
Really what it is about is about doing a couple of different things.
First, you know, it is about really bettering yourself as a person that has, that is a,
that is one part of the active no contract who it's also part of the regular no contact
rule to, according to the way most people describe it.
Another part is really giving yourself a chance to heal from the breakup.
A, that's part of the active no contact will also a part of the regular no contact rule
too.
But where the active no contact rule is different is that, you know, we use active no contact
as a training ground for mastering relational skills so that you can make sure that you
have these down when you need them.
You know, this is Kinda like your karate Dojo where you're practicing those punches, those
kicks and stuff like that.
So that when you need them in a high stakes situation, like when you're with your ex,
you will have them, there'll be habitual, there'll be hard wired into who you are and
how you're acting and behaving and won't be like something that sort of clunky and awkward
because it's the first time you've ever used it or something like that.
These are relational skills will be hardwired into you and obviously the more time that
you spend practicing them during active, no contact, the better you will be at using them
in the real world.
And of course, again, that is kind of variable based on, on how much time you're willing
to put in practicing these, you know, if you really put in the time to practices every
single day, you know, you could be, you could be able to go through active, no contact pretty
quickly.
However, if you're just kinda like a little bit, you know, half assed with it, it might
take quite a long time.
Again, it just really depends on how much work you're willing to put in.
So again, you know, there, there is no hard set amount of time for a active no contact.
I'm just, as a general rule of the thumb, we, we kind of by default recommend that people
start with 30 days.
That's generally a good amount of time for most people.
Sometimes it takes people longer though and when it comes to the regular passive, no contact
rule, all bets are off, just go with whatever they say, wherever you heard about it, because
to be honest, it's not really going to matter because it's not going to work a little bit
cynical with you there.
But, that's just my personal, a very opinionated point of view.
So again, I hope this helps you out if you'd like to learn more about the active no contact
rule and how to apply it in your life so that you can bring your ex back into your life
and have the great loving relationship with them that you know, that you can have, please
head on over to relationshipinnergame.com and sign up.
Thanks.