- Welcome to a very special episode
where today I'm gonna be reviewing
the ugliest decks I have ever seen.
Like, what the (bleep) is this?
Really?
Some of these decks make me physically ill
and I had them in my collection.
I don't know what to do with them,
so I thought I'd put together a little
playing card review for the ugliest decks that I have.
Now, I know a lot of you are thinking, well Chris,
that's pretty arrogant because maybe some people
will like these decks.
Well, you know what?
You're entitled to like the ugliest decks in the world.
In fact, at the end of this video,
I'm gonna give these decks away.
So if you want to win, stay tuned,
and you might be lucky enough to take these eyesores home.
So without further ado,
let's get into looking at these ugly decks.
First up on the chopping block we have floral.
(vomiting sound)
Sorry.
Floral comes in this purple, purple box.
Pretty gross.
We have, god, look at these, these are terrible.
There's purple all the way around
with this silver seal, which is also pretty gross.
Floral deck by Alloys Design.
Yolanda, sorry, Yolanda.
I apologize in advance.
All right, let's have a look at them,
see if they're really as bad as we think they are.
Err, oh, what is that?
(bouncy noise effect)
What the (bleep) is that?
Oh, coming soon.
Hello.
Coming soon.
Peafowl.
Peafowl, coming soon.
Looks like peafowl to me, foul and pee.
God, really?
All right, now here we have the back design.
Let's fan these out.
Oh, that's not a bad fan.
These look pretty good when you fan them out.
Considering they're pretty gross.
Oh, we got a blank card.
Hello, perfect for magic.
Let's look at the jokers.
Oh, god, what the hell is that font, what is that?
What is that font, focus, what is that font?
Oh my god, look at that.
You know anything Comic Sans is a bad font?
This is far worse.
We'll give them a chance.
What is that, what are these even?
These are probably gonna be some of the ugliest jokers
I've ever seen in my life.
But we haven't seen the other decks yet,
so let's give it a chance.
The ace, the ace is actually pretty cool.
I like the ace.
Not bad.
So they took their time making the core cards,
which is pretty cool,
I mean they actually went out of their way
to not make standard core cards, which I do appreciate.
The jack of clubs.
The jack of clubs looks like a girl, just saying.
Let's take a look at the back design here.
On the back we have, I don't know what that pattern is.
It's like a mix between a koi fish and Barney the dinosaur.
♫ I love you
Not exactly sure about these cards.
This is the floral deck.
So let's go ahead and have a look at the rest
of whatever we have going on.
But don't forget, coming soon, the peafowl deck.
Can't wait.
All right, next up we have Red Core playing cards.
These babies, check these out.
Look at this box, Red Core since 1885.
Well, I think that's Bicycle since 1885.
These look a little bit newer.
Red Core playing cards, ooh, recyclable and what is that?
Collectibleplayingcards.com in case you want to snag these
while they're hot.
Air-cushion finish.
United States playing cards.
Let's open these up, poker, ooh.
A deck for poker.
If you want to invite your friends over for a poker night,
don't use these cards
if you want to keep your friends, that is.
Let's see what's inside, here we go.
Oh!
(chuckling)
Oh!
They're facing the other way.
They've inverted the eyes, hold on.
Red Core playing cards.
(chuckling)
Why?
So, they took the time to change the font out from
filled font to like hollow font.
And we've got both the eyes, right?
We've got both the eyes here looking at you that
spacial grid going on in the back.
Oh God, is that the back?
Is that the back design?
Oh my, look at the back design.
Look at that.
It's terrible.
Okay, see how these fan out.
Ooh.
Looks like some digital snake coming at you,
with that red center in the middle.
Look at how nice that looks, huh?
Disgusting cards.
Okay, let's take a look.
We've got the jokers out of the way.
Oh, the ace, look at that ace.
What is that?
The ace of spades.
This is the most ridiculous deck I've ever seen.
Okay.
Oh, wait, we have a fan pattern this way too.
For your fanning pleasure.
These, uh, I don't know what to say about this.
Look at the core cards, what are they?
Oh, okay.
The standard core cards with a laser beam in the middle
of their bodies.
And that laser beam theme is consistent throughout
the entire deck, I believe.
Yes it is.
Look at that diamond.
It's like they just literally took a picture of normal
playing cards and just made a negative.
You know, like in photos you make negatives?
Lets just make negative playing cards.
Yeah, invert them.
Wait, I've got a better idea.
Why don't we add like a red laser dot in the middle
and call them Red Core.
Because the core of the cards are going to bed red,
and then it's like we'll put a spacial grid
in the back of them.
That, that will do so well.
And also lets make them borderless so that when you
ding them up you can see that they're dinged.
And let's not forget to write poker on the front of
the deck so that people know that you use these for poker.
I feel like this is the result of like a 1980s sci-fi
movie experiment.
Where they tried to predict what the future would
look like in the 1980s.
This is what came out of it.
Red Core playing cards.
Lastly, and leastly
(chuckles)
stained glass playing cards by Bicycle.
Look at these stained glass beauties.
(whistles)
They went out of their way to make a stain glass seal,
appreciate that.
Appreciate that, guys, look at that seal.
Oh God, look at this.
Really?
Air cushioned finish.
Bicycle stained, also by collectibleplayingcards.com.
So we've got a theme going on.
I think this is uh, I think we might be looking
at the same creator here.
That's unfortunate.
Let's give these a go.
Pop that seal.
There we go, oh what have we got on the inside here?
Oh my (beep) God.
What the?
(chuckling)
What is this?
Woo, look at that.
If you've ever wanted to be a priest and a magician.
You know--
(record scratching sound)
Here's the thing, stained glass is innately only beautiful
because of the amount of work that goes into it
and when the light goes through stained glass,
it like illuminates and becomes super colorful and
reflects off the other wall.
Making an opaque stain glass deck doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make sense.
It's not stained glass, it's shitty kaleidoscope pattern
with black borders.
This looks terrible.
This is the ugliest deck, by fair.
Again with the black borders.
Oh, we've got some add cards here.
Make sure you check these guys out.
Free shout out, you're welcome.
Alright let's take a look at the jokers here.
(chuckling)
Again, we've inverted the, we've inverted the fonts.
So we've got opposite fonts, pink and purple.
Traditional stained glass coloring.
Oh, the ace of spades, look at that.
Look at the detail on these babies.
You know if you've had like too much chocolate
and then have a nightmare?
That's what this feels like right now.
It feels like I've been drugged with an LSD tab
that someone found in the back alley of a ghetto.
This deck makes me physically ill.
I think I'm going to be sick.
I don't even know what's going on here.
This has got to be the most terrible design I've ever seen.
There's the ace.
Let's take a look at the other cards.
We have a consistent theme going on with that pattern,
what about the court cards?
Here we go, here we go.
(chuckling)
What is that?
What is happening?
What is happening there?
What is that?
What is this?
It's like the universe is opening itself up
and then swiftly closing itself with embarrassment.
This is terrible.
The ace of diamonds, they worked hard on that.
Again with the clouds in the back, look at that.
(retching sound)
The clubs, look at the clubs, huh?
Huh?
Huh? Hmm?
Pretty nifty.
Oh, and the heart so much color.
Much wow.
Such gradient.
And then what is, oh this is the add card.
Oh, I see what you did there little double backer
action.
In case you want to perform with these cards,
they do come with a double backer so you might
be able to fool your audience,
but you're not going to impress them with your cards,
that's for sure.
Imagine, can you imagine showing up to a gig
with these cards?
Can you imagine that?
Ladies and gentlemen, my name's Chris Ramsay,
I'm a magician.
Here, please pick a card.
I'm sorry, "What are those?
"What are you holding right there?"
These, these are my playing cards.
These are a stain glass design.
Yeah, get the (beep) out of here.
Why would you ever consider using this?
Maybe it's just for flourishing.
Huh?
Maybe a fan, look at that fan.
Look at this fan, look at this,
look at these cards.
(laughs)
my life.
(solemn music)
I need to re-group after that.
I think this video just turned into a public service
announcement.
You've got to be out of your damned mind, first of all.
These are expensive to make.
Who is putting up money for this?
Who is dishing out, being like,
"You know what? I like your style, here's an unlimited
"budget for you to print anything you want.
"We're just going to let you (beep) shit up for the next
"couple months and--
"How many do you want, 10,000? 20,000?
"You name it, it's yours."
Ladies and gentlemen, please, before putting out a deck
use Kickstarter 'cause at least you'll know if it's
shit and it won't get funded.
You'll be stuck with a warehouse full of stained glass
decks and Red Core's.
Guys, again, I don't mean to shit on the actual designers,
but these are the worst designed cards that I own
in my collection.
Some of them were close to making the list,
but these are the ultimate worst.
Now's your chance to win these decks if you want them.
So I am giving away, happily giving away three--
We've got the florals, we've got the stained glass,
and the Red Core playing cards up for grabs.
They will be opened and they will be used.
I will gladly send you each and every deck of these
that I own, which is probably one of each,
but it might be two.
All you have to do, like this video and let me know
in the comments which deck is the ugliest out of
the three.
And maybe let me know what you thought about these
kind of playing card reviews and if you want to see more
because I literally can't do this again.
I will not be able to do this type of review again
without getting ill on camera.
But nevertheless, maybe some of you out there are
dying for a deck of Red Core.
God, I can't keep a straight face.
So let me know what you think in the comments and
I will get back to some of you and I will gladly
send these out to whoever I choose and I'll announce it
sometime in the next video.
So guys, let me know what you thought of this episode
in the comments below, smash that like button if you
liked it and don't forget to check out the other videos
I've got going on down here.
We've got tutorials, we've got performances,
we've got all sorts of shenanigans.
So let me know what you thought and we'll see you
next time guys, peace out.
(upbeat music)