[Applause] these are actual uh letters now from folks viewers and stuff who are answering
them for you hi Dave have you ever been to a reggae festival Jenny Brinson Chico California
uh I must say uh no I would I would love to go to a reggae you know speaking of music festivals
I have the big satellite TV at home and I was watching the Al Jazeera and I saw a commercial
that they're running on the Al Jazeera Network it's a commercial uh for a very
unusual kind of music festival speaking of Music Festival so I brought it in
I want you folks to take a look at what I saw in Al Jazeera watch this
hey stop the Rock Fans Al-Qaeda is pleased to announce the fourth annual jihadapalooza November
12th you'll want to be at Felicia's Marina for a lineup that includes noted terrorists Cat
Stevens chemical weapons expert Crystal Gayle and German Warfare specialist Paul Anka he had
a palooza will also Mark the triumphant return of Shiite gorillas Hall and oads
[Applause] be there everyone does not production foreign [Applause]
close-up magic yeah that's exactly what it is but but even calling it close-up magic is wrong
it's something all together different it's like the laws of physics and nature and the universe
have been suspended or altered man I gotta see this and he does that too he'll do that yeah
that's how you know the trick has been completed
because everything's gone sure uh letter number two what is
your favorite tool Michael Rasmussen Denmark
apparently we
I guess the satellite uh it's a good question what is my favorite tool and
uh we decided to ask her head Carpenter Harold Larkin Harold Harold can you hear
me worry Harold uh what what is what is your favorite tool Harold
Dave I'd have to say my favorite tool is this durable and efficient Craftsman electric nail gun
with the Craftsman electric nail gun I complete projects quicker than ever but my favorite thing
about the Craftsman electric nail gun is it's great for parties and screwing with interns
this guy will be better than that now that wasn't really a trick they just stapled the guy up there
yeah uh letter number three Dear Dave do you have any parting words from Martha Stewart before she
goes off to prison that Lita Cooper Delaware I think I think it's too bad that Martha's going
to prison me too yeah and it's it was a lot of fun making jokes about her but now that she's going to
prison that kind of takes the fun out right yeah it's not fun anymore because she'll be in there uh
uh walking the line is that what they do in prison that's what Johnny Cash signified in the prison
when he went to Folsom Prison yeah I Walk the Line but I don't know if they would she'll have to have
a shiv right I if you you could smuggle her in one well no I but you know in a pine cone glitter
Paracel will be the only cell with glitter but yeah anyway yeah Martha is going to prison next
week and I don't know what to say other than good good luck and I think um I actually I think
Martha's going to do great in prison yeah good do you think so what makes you safe yeah well
you know take a look at this Martha's about to go away for a while and you won't want to miss
her very special farewell show Martha shares delicious recipes elegant decorating ideas plus
she unveils her beautiful prison tattoos it's all happening on Martha Stewart Living Room
I don't know it's Martha
and uh do you think she do you think she'll be on the show when she gets out of prison I I hope
so wouldn't it be nice to have Martha on the show after prison it would be nice to see her anytime
and and usually when she would come on she would show us how to uh decorate your house with you
know gluing macaroni to something yeah and and we all got very tired of that but but now after she's
been in prison if she doesn't have stories to tell now oh yeah I'll say yeah Katie bar the door yeah
uh letter number four who does your hair uh Kristen antel Aleppo Pennsylvania am I
pronouncing that properly Paul well as far as I know I don't know how to it is Pennsylvania you
think ah get out of here uh well I know it's a joke about it it's a joke about my hair and so
I'll just make a joke right back at you it's the same guy who used to do Pete Rose's hair hello
did I hear my name put it on the devil raise put it on the Devil Rays put it on the Devil Rays wow
put it on the devil ray says Pete number the old number 14. hello Pete what up [ __ ] now
I'm sorry you my [ __ ] and everyone knows you're my [ __ ]
uh now Pete the uh the baseball playoffs are about to begin who do you like well the Cardinals will
beat the Red Sox in a seven game World Series game seven will be a 5-3 victory with Matt
Morris getting the win over Pedro Martinez and Jim Edmonds will be the World Series MVP
wow that's that's a very detailed prediction Pete let's just say I got some friends [ __ ]
wow
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wow excuse me what the what the hell was that
that's a little thing called working it [ __ ] are there any dogs in the house
all right now now Pete uh tell me Pete about this movie on ESPN your life story called hustle tell
me all about that David it was so exciting getting to play myself in a movie no wait a minute you
you didn't play yourself uh Ted Sizemore the actor Tom size Tom Tom Sizemore played you
Tom Sizemore played you in this no actually Tom had to bow out and bow out because he had
some problems with the script really uh anyway I brought a clip oh a clip actually yeah this
scene shows the big strip poker game the night I beat Ty Cobb sorry ass all right thanks [ __ ]
okay what does everybody have whole house I got nothing I guess I have to take something off
well Pete Rose ladies and gentlemen 500 bucks does count Stevens gets the chair
[Music] [Applause]
he still looks like he can lay down a bunch for a head doesn't he hear you baby
[Music]