[ Cheers and applause ] -Thank you.
Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
I'm very happy to announce
that I just graduated from swimming school.
Yeah. Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Got tired of drowning.
[ Laughter ] I was sick of it.
Said, "Enough's enough."
My boys are like, "Aren't you embarrassed
to be a grown man in a swimming class?"
I'm like, "No." [ Laughter ]
What's embarrassing
is being rescued by a 12-year-old named Hannah.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Applause continues ]
Never again.
[ Laughter ]
What made it worse is she was talking to me the whole time.
Very casual.
[ Laughter ]
She was like, "I got you, big guy."
[ Laughter ]
"My name's Hannah."
[ Laughter ]
"Gonna take you to safety, okay?"
[ Laughter ]
"Oh, what's that? Oh, no, I'm not a lifeguard."
[ Laughter ]
"I was just making a sandcastle..."
[ Laughter ]
"...and I saw you over here, panicking, so..."
[ Laughter ]
"...figured I'd help a brother out, okay?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
"You're okay.
So, are your parents here? You have a chaperone..."
[ Laughter ] "...I can leave you with?
No? Okay.
Well, if you need a ride, I can ask my mom."
[ Laughter ]
"Get you to safety."
[ Light laughter ] Then I got to the beach.
I was very happy to be on land, and I stood up,
and she was like, "Why didn't you just walk?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Applause continues ]
"Your hair is dry. You didn't even..."
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter continues ]
I follow her on Instagram now. [ Laughter ]
I like all of her posts. [ Laughter ]
I'm like, "You a hero, girl." [ Laughter ]
She's like, "Leave me alone, sir."
I'm like, "All right." [ Laughter ]
Yeah. I am very tall.
Guys are like, "Oh, man, you must get all the ladies."
Fellas, if you think all it takes to get girls
is to be tall and handsome,
you're absolutely right, okay?
[ Laughter and applause ] Yeah. Yeah.
[ Applause continues ]
It's true. [ Chuckles ]
I'm about 6'6." Yeah.
Which is about 6 inches taller
than the top of public bathroom stalls.
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter continues ]
Every day, I'm just locking eyes with men in their darkest hour.
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter continues ]
I'm like Wilson, the neighbor in "Home Improvement."
You remember this guy? [ Laughter ]
"Close your window, Tim."
[ Laughter ]
I'm a comedian now. This is a great job.
My first job was at a fast-food restaurant.
It was terrible. The worst restaurant ever.
I was 14 years old,
and my mom made me quit 'cause my grades were slipping.
So I typed up a two weeks' notice,
and I turned it in, and my boss was like,
"Hey, man, you can just leave."
[ Laughter ]
"You got a computer at home?
What are you -- an undercover boss?
Get the heck out of here, kid!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Go be somebody."
[ Applause continues ]
Yeah. I'm doing new things.
I signed up for a spin class.
[ Scattered cheering ] Yeah.
I thought it would be a nice place to meet women.
I was wrong. [ Laughter ]
Turns out, if you're the only dude in the spin class,
you just look like a creep.
[ Laughter ] Yeah.
So, the next day, I brought my homie with me.
Yeah.
[ Laughter ] Yeah.
He didn't even work out.
He just sat on my handlebars, but...
[ Laughter and applause ] Yeah. Yeah.
[ Applause continues ]
I did meet a girl in the spin class.
She was way out of my league.
She opened up with, "Yeah, so, I just graduated from Harvard Law.
And during my free time, I like to volunteer at a dog shelter.
Tell me about yourself." [ Light laughter ]
I was like, "Well, I just graduated from swimming school."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Applause continues ]
"And I'm learning how to doggy paddle."
[ Laughter ]
98% match.
[ Light laughter ]
[ Laughter continues ]
Took her to the movies.
I love superhero movies. Took her to see "The Avengers."
She was like, "Who's your favorite hero?
Is it Captain America, huh? Black Panther?"
I was like, "No, girl."
[ Laughs ] "It's Hannah, okay?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
You guys are great. My name's LeClerc Andre, guys.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-LeClerc Andre!
♪♪
For more, go to leclercandre.com.