Okay, here's part two.
Every now and then we would get unexpected knocks at our door. Are we expecting guests?
No.
are we expecting a package delivery?
No.
And door to door didn't seem like a common thing in our building because we were in a private condo complex.
So as a newcomer to our home, I carelessly opened the door for those people.
"Hello?"
"Yeah, hi. Uh... Is this 2506?"
"No, this is 2505."
"Oh, uh... sorry...
Oh! It's this one! Heheh!"
I guess it was an honest mistake.
I mean, our number plates were pretty close to each other
and I would have let it go if it didn't happen again.
"Hello. Is this 2506?"
"No."
And again...
"Uh, hi"
"Are you looking for 2506?"
"Oh, yes! I am."
"Well, this isn't it."
And again.
"Hey!"
"This is 2505."
Oh, sorry.
So at this point I thought,
"man, our neighbor must be pretty popular to having this many guests this often."
thought my naive mind.
When I thought that maybe our number plates were just oriented badly,
I realized I was giving these people too much credit.
I mean, it's pretty obvious which one corresponds to which door,
like, if this—if they thought this was mine, what did they think this number was?
Come on. How unusual was it for someone to continuously have guests
but not have any of them returned for another visit?
because surely if they made the mistake of confusing the address once,
they wouldn't do it again, right?
Eventually, we stopped opening the door for these people.
If we didn't recognize them, we continued to peek and observe
As we predicted, after knocking on our door and receiving no answer
they would realize their mistake and knock on the correct door.
Or they would text or call someone on their phone while pacing back and forth in the hallway
until lo and behold, our very popular neighbor opens their door and reels them in.
And they were always welcomed with something overly comforting like,
"Hey honey"
or
"Hey baby"
like, what? That's that's not how you greet normal guests.
It started getting bad when some of them stopped knocking
and just independently opened our door.
One day, we were changing the light bulbs in our living room
and the one time we forgot to lock the door,
one of them literally walked in.
I don't mean to generalize what he looked like,
but he looked to be in the same...
demographic of our neighbor's usual guest list.
He took a few steps in and I could tell by his expression and hesitance to proceed,
that he did not know where the hell he was.
I immediately unwelcomed him with
"Wrong place!"
and he turned around and left without a word.
On another occasion when I was expecting a package,
we opened the door to what we thought was the delivery service.
We discovered he neither had a package nor was a delivery service.
Well, he did have a package that he intended to deliver, if you know what I mean.
But we did not want to be at the receiving end of that.
We neither greeted him nor told him to come in,
and he just walks in anyway with such confidence that he was at the right place
Almost made it to the living room before we had to go bouncer mode and kick him out.
And recently, if you guys follow me on Twitter,
*cough*
OmNomDomz
*cough*
I archived what was probably the creepiest encounter yet.
One morning I was woken up by Nala's growling
and the only reason she gets defensive is when she detects a stranger in the house.
I thought that it might have been one of my roommate's friends,
but I didn't hear anyone talking in the living room.
So I opened my bedroom door and peeked out to see
that my roommate was still sleeping on the couch.
"Nala, there's no one there."
*barks*
I step out of my room and see a woman sitting on our chair like she's waiting for something.
She immediately stands up in a panic.
"Uh, this isn't 2506, is it?"
"No, who the hell are you?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
And then she leaves.
I later found out that my other roommate lost his keys the previous night
and couldn't lock the door when he left for work that morning.
Which left us susceptible to potential serial killers,
or in this case, a neighbour's client
We... we probably could have been murdered in our sleep, huh.
But way before this incident, we came to a conclusion
that our neighbor
was a prostitute.
And we speculated that that woman might have been a new recruit
because she was holding some papers that we assumed to be, like,
an application form or something?
I don't know,
I don't know how this works, okay?
But yeah, my neighbor's a prostie.
It was too obvious; all the clues pointed to it.
It couldn't have been anything else.
At first I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, like,
oh, maybe she teaches piano or something.
But then, why were all her students grimy-looking middle-aged men?
It started becoming a game at that point where we would try to guess if someone in our building
was there to "deliver a package"
and we were usually right.
If I come across a fella waiting for the elevator
and he had trouble looking for the ground floor button,
and they do that finger helicopter thing when they're trying to decide,
it was safe to assume that he didn't live there.
One time when they got off the elevator I muttered,
"Hope you had fun"
as I continue down into the parking garage.
Oh, the fear in their face—
it was priceless.
And another incident, I was waiting for the elevator so I could take Nala out for a walk.
When the elevator door opened, a dude walked out and jumped back into panic after he saw Nala.
He asked,
"I-Is it safe?"
as he pointed at my dog.
What the hell? Of course she's safe.
She's a 15-pound dog on a leash
and she wasn't even barking at him.
Like dude, chill.
I nodded, but I don't think that was enough to convince him that he was safe
because he decided to hug the wall like he was trying to fuse with it
in order to safely get around Nala
and go to his "piano lessons".
I swear after he left, Nala gave me this look as if to say,
"What the fuck is wrong with him?"
Although we had our speculations, we never exactly had hard evidence
as to what our neighbor's true profession was.
Until we decided to Google search our building address accompanied with the word,
"Escort".
We had our proof.
They had a website, and while I won't be providing the URL for obvious reasons.
I hope you'll trust me when I say that there is an empire of escorts in my city!
There are hundreds of locations around, and as it turns out,
there was actually another unit in my building that provided the same services!
My city is tainted.
And I'm not an expert on this topic
but I don't think "escort" is the right term for their business.
They don't leave their suite.
There is no escorting.
One time a client was in and out in the 20 minutes that I walked my dog.
I've actually ran into my neighbor on several occasions as I caught her either exiting or entering her suite.
And she seemed to be on edge every time we bumped into each other.
There's not really much we can do about the situation.
We looked up the laws and apparently in Canada
it's legal to sell sexual services, but illegal to purchase them.
I guess it made sense for the clients to be really cautious,
which made things more entertaining when we messed with them.
One time my roommate was on his way back from work
and caught a client waiting by the door.
He pretended to be locked out and just sat down beside him to observe.
Eventually the client got too nervous and left.
I mean, if you're not gonna give your clients the correct directions to your place,
then I feel like we reserve the right to deal with them how we please.
And I know that they know that they keep accidentally going to our door.
I might just consider letting them in and charge them a fee for being a waiting-room.
It's a shame though.
I could have had really convenient access to piano lessons.
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