Hello I m Darren Magee and todays questions are asking if I would discuss stalking. What kind
of people stalk others? Why do they do it? What s the personality type of a stalker be?
To answer those questions I'm going to look at some of the research that has been carried out
into stalking and I ll add the links to that research in the description of this video.
But I'm also going to look at the different kinds of stalker, and the effect that being
stalked can have on its victims. So if you like this video, if you find it interesting or helpful,
please consider subscribing to my channel. Just to remind you though,
this video is for information purposes only. Now first of all I would like to say that all of us
at some point have maybe went onto social media and done a search for an old friend, maybe an old
school friend or perhaps an old work colleague. Sometimes we've looked at the profile of an old
boyfriend or girlfriend just to see what they look like now, to see what they are up to now.
We may have went looking for more information on a famous person.
But this is usually out of curiosity or perhaps feeling nostalgic. Once we get the information it
generally ends there it doesn't go any further. That is not necessarily the same as stalking.
Stalking is not a single act. It is a series of actions which can involve, among other things,
phone calls, emails sending gifts, sending threats, terrorising, following someone, either
following them online or following them in real life. It is defined as repeated and persistent
unwanted communications, approaches, intrusions into someone s life, into their privacy. And
there can be many different levels to it. Now some victims may not be aware they re being stalked.
Sometimes the stalker may not necessarily have any malicious intent. Perhaps there obsessed with
their target, admire them from a distance. They may be misguided, think that they're in love,
or think that their victim is in love with him. They may have a desire to help or rescue
or support them somehow. But there is a darker side to stalking which evokes fear in victims.
The stalker could be relentless in their harassment. Calling, messaging them repeatedly,
perhaps sending gifts or sending threats. Becoming aggressive if that attention is not being
reciprocated, if that person does not want their help. The behaviours can be very intrusive. That
could be spying, following someone, turning up at their home or their place of work. They could be
recruiting others to follow and gather information or to communicate on their behalf. Stalking is a
form of mental abuse. It is a form of mental assault. And social media has made stalking
easier. Stalkers can follow and spy on their victims without ever having to leave their home.
Someone could be stalked by someone with multiple accounts, or they could be stalked by multiple
people with the same agenda. Now when the stalker is a stranger it maybe because they fantasise over
someone or have a hatred for someone. There may be threats, threats of violence, sexual threats.
There could be threats of dire consequences if the victim does not comply. There could be constant
communication to the victim, letting the victim know, You have no privacy, you are not safe.
This kind of stalker would commonly have more than one victim, and they assert control by creating
fear through intimidation and aggression. Now the research suggests that when it's a stranger
they re less likely to carry out their threats because if they did, they would have no one to
control. That being said, there are always exceptions. There have been many instances
where there have been violent assaults, even murder in some cases. But the fact that there are
threats there at all, whether those threats are genuine or not can be terrifying for the victim.
Former, sometimes current partners would be the most common type of stalker. Now for a current
partner who stalks, they could be maybe obsessed with knowing everything about their partner. Their
where abouts, their activities, even following them when they go out. They could experience an
intense anger and intense anxiety if they don't know where the partner is, if they feel they have
no control over the partner. Eighty percent of people who have been in abusive relationships
have claimed that they were stalked by their partner during the relationship. For an ex partner
the loss of relationship can feel like a bereavement. They want to keep some kind of
contact, but it is not reciprocal. Now some may just disappear, disappear into the background,
watch from a distance. Other times it can be more sinister, more threatening. Stalking from
a former partner tends to be more persistent and usually last longer. A study from the UK's
Stalking Threat Assessment Centre described ex partner stalking as potentially the most dangerous
as, They have easily bruised egos, flimsy interpersonal boundaries, smouldering rage
and jealousy and a relentless tenacity. But what kind of person stalks other people? What is it
motivates them? Well not all stalkers would suffer from things like hallucinations or delusions.
Some may. There may be a delusional or a psychotic disorder present. But many do suffer
from other forms of mental illness. Now this could include depression, addiction, substance abuse,
and personality disorders. Many suffer with obsessiveness and paranoia. There is also a high
prevalence of insecurity, anger and impulsiveness. In 2012, an article published in the journal,
Aggression and Violent Behaviour stated Stalkers can fall under a variety of diagnosis. This could
include psychotic disorders, personality disorders such as narcissistic personality, and delusional
disorders. The motivations for stalking could include a delusional belief in a romantic destiny.
A desire to reclaim a prior relationship. A sadistic urge to torment the victim,
or a psychotic over identification with the victim on the desire to replace them. I would
also suggest there are strong elements of anti social personality. My this could
include psychopathy and sociopathy. Also, it's not uncommon for there to have been a history
of domestic abuse. Now Paul Mullin and a team from Victoria s Forensicare Centre, which is a high
security hospital for mentally ill offenders, they analysed the behaviours of 145 stalkers and based
on their analysis Mullen and the others proposed there are five stalker subtypes. Firstly, there is
the rejected stalker. They pursue their victims in order to reverse or to avenge a rejection.
Commonly this might be a partner who does not want to accept the end of the relationship.
It could also be a family member, a parent or a friend that the victim has broken contact with.
When attempts to reconcile fail the stalker remain increase their efforts, they may go
looking for information as to where the victim is. Through there with what it is they're doing
or looking for information that they can use. Now they may use it to try
further attempts at reconciliation, or they may use it to fuel the misery that they already feel,
or they may try to use it to seek revenge due to their inability to accept the end
of their relationship. They may use manipulative behaviours such as bringing or threatening to
bring legal action against their victims. They may label their victims as having a mental illness.
They may even threaten to harm themselves or someone else to coerce their victims to intervene.
But these tactics are all about trying to force the victim into some kind of contact.
Then there's the incompetent stalker. They may have a fixation or obsession, or in some cases,
a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship or friendship with someone who has attracted
their attention. This person believes their behaviour might lead to a closer relationship,
seeking some kind of contact or intimacy. Now Mullan believed that this kind of stalker to be
socially awkward and intellectually limited. They tend to continue stalking even when their victim
is not reciprocating. And tend to use methods that can be creepy, frightening, and counterproductive.
Next there is the intimacy stalker. Now this is when someone identifies, usually a stranger,
though not all the time, but they identify someone and believes that they are the one.
They try to establish a friendship or an intimate loving relationship with their victim. It's like
they were meant to be together. They fantasize and sometimes behave as if the love is reciprocated.
Then there is the predator stalker. Now they have no desire for any relationship with their victims,
they just want power and control. They find pleasure in gathering information
about their victim. Now either get it from others or from those close to the victim,
or perhaps searching back through social media posts, comments from years back. Any information
is power to them. They might try to use it to manipulate or to use against their
victims. They use it to justify their actions to themselves. They often troll their victims,
fantasizing about assault them or spying on their victims in order to plan an assault.
They tend to want to gain control of others, often due to feeling little or no control over their own
lives, and they tend to have voyeuristic and sadistic desires. And lastly, there is the
resentful stalker. Now this stalker feels some sense of injustice and desires revenge against
their victim. They pursue a vendetta out of some sense of grievance. They're motivated mainly by a
desire to frighten and to punish their victim. The cruelty of their behaviour often reflects
their perception that they have been treated unfairly, perhaps humiliated, even though it is
way out of proportion. Because in many cases, they may have just had to face the consequences for
their own already bad behaviour. Perhaps they've been dumped by a partner, or fired for misconduct,
or perhaps even charged with a crime. But they view themselves as the victim and are seeking
some kind of revenge. They don't see themselves as a stalker but on some moral crusade. Some crusade
to right a wrong. The belief often being as I am suffering so should you . And calling them
out for their stalking behaviour tends to make things worse because this kind are both vindictive
on vengeful. But regardless of the type of stalker, their motivations, among other things,
what we often see is a need to control others, an inability to cope with any kind of rejection,
low self esteem, selfishness, narcissistic and sadistic behaviours. They can be manipulative
and deceitful and can have a dependency on others. And being stalked can be a terrifying experience.
Being on the wrong end of someone who might be obsessive and controlling, threatening and
aggressive, and have no regard for anyone else's safety or privacy can cause psychological trauma.
And because it generally isn't a single isolated incident, it is often a repeated and relentless
assault it also has a cumulative effect. The victims very life, their lifestyle is being
assaulted through unwanted intrusions. Many extreme cases the victim is often denigrated.
Which allows the stalker to act without conscience or empathy. Because the target is just an object,
not a fellow human being. And it can't leave victims living in a state of fear, living
under constant threat, being hyper vigilant, constant safety seeking behaviours it can cause,
among other things, sleep disruption, nightmares, flashbacks, self isolation. Now if you have
been or are being stalked, I would invite you to think about reaching out to someone for support.
I'm going to put the links to some organisations in the description of this video that might be
helpful. So that is a brief outline of stalking. There are many more examples I could have added by
all means please use the comment box below. There are some interesting conversations start around
these videos. But if you've been a victim of stalking and you feel comfortable enough to do so,
please mention in the comment section anything you might have found helpful
in managing your safety or helping with your recovery. Someone else reading that
might benefit from your experience. So until next time, thanks for watching.