INFJs core cognitive functions are Introverted Intuition and Extroverted Feeling.
This means they internalize their emotions and make decisions primarily through empathy
and considering others.
INFJs are naturally adept at putting themselves in others' shoes.
They can be extremely sensitive to those around them which can, unfortunately, leave them
very exposed and vulnerable to hurt.
Life for some INFJs can therefore be incredibly hard, but it can also be equally wonderful,
once they become mature and fully formed INFJs.
Although maturity comes with age and experience for most INFJs, a mature INFJ can be of any age.
A mature INFJ is one that has mastered their strengths.
They understand the journey of life is about becoming rather than achieving and so they
embrace it, complete with pit stops, detours, and traffic jams.
So, let’s look further at What Happens When an INFJ Reaches Maturity.
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Mature INFJs Prioritise Their Own Needs
To be an INFJ is to be an empath.
INFJs have a natural ability to feel other people’s emotions on a visceral level.
In early life, this can be incredibly overwhelming as they have not yet developed the necessary
coping mechanisms to separate it from their own thoughts and feelings.
INFJs who haven’t matured struggle with understanding themselves and can be very co-dependent,
living primarily to please others, even if it means to their own detriment.
When an INFJ matures they will still have the same level of empathy, but they would
have come to realize that they need to consider their own feelings as well.
Mature INFJs have a strong sense of self because they spend time trying to understand themselves
and their own needs.
As a result, they are more well-rounded understanding people, capable of combining their giving
nature, with an awareness of their own limitations.
Mature INFJs Accept They Are Different
INFJs make up less than 3% of the population.
They think and feel very deeply, which is vastly different from the majority of the
world.
Most people perceive things at face value and are frankly incapable of the same level
of introspection and foresight.
INFJs can therefore feel incredibly misunderstood before maturity.
They want to belong and so they learn early that they have to adapt to the world around
them and mimic what is considered normal in their societies in order to fit in.
With maturity, INFJs begin to accept that their moral opinions, lack of interest in
certain things, and emotional depth will never be understood or welcomed by most people around them.
They stop desiring validation from people and live more authentically to their true selves.
They believe the people who are meant to be in their life will accept them for who they
are, and the ones that don’t can f*** off.
They are better off without them.
Mature INFJs Communicate Effectively
INFJs before maturity have a lot of trouble communicating their thoughts and feelings
to others.
These INFJs tend to be more worried about how others feel and think and aren’t usually
the type to speak up unless it’s absolutely necessary, or they have become rather comfortable
with someone, which usually takes a lot of time.
These INFJs can therefore come off as very cold and distant to most people.
In contrast, a mature INFJ will have a very calm and friendly presence.
They will use their empathy to understand others' viewpoints, be uplifting, and generally
light-hearted.
They will be open to listening to others and giving well-thought-out advice.
Some might even describe their personality as brightening up a room.
However mature INFJs are still INFJs and will need their alone time, but being mature they
will be able to effectively communicate this need to others.
They will also be good at reassuring their loved ones that they’ll be available again
after this needed time.
Mature INFJs are therefore extremely easy to get along with.
They tend to be more outward-focused around others, open to guiding people to what they
may feel is a more balanced life.
They won’t be too pushy with their ideologies, they will simply place them out there in the
air and let people decide if they agree or not, and if not, they will not take it personally.
Mature INFJs Use Alone Time to Recharge and Not to Escape
It is common for immature INFJs to regularly get overwhelmed by their environment and the
So much so it can cause them to itch thinking about why they are not moving forward, why
nothing is changing for the better, why no one gets them or needs them and there is no way out.
This can give them the urge to run away, make a massive change or just shut the door on
everyone and everything.
These INFJs use alone time to escape their lives.
Mature INFJs use alone time to recharge.
A mature INFJ will be content even without having many possessions.
Their alone time is their sanctuary, some even see it as holy.
It will never feel like seclusion or a “hiding place” because they are using it for its
'soul' purpose.
It is their place to restore.
Their place to meditate, their place to write, sing, play their guitar or piano, or anything
else that brings them joy.
It will be their place to contemplate the deepest questions they have regarding humanity,
their direction, their specific roles in their families and social circles.
Then after this time, they will re-emerge without fear, better and more whole.
Mature INFJs Do Not Door Slam Unnecessarily
The INFJ door slam is when an INFJ cuts people out of their life and in some instances, it
can be a healthy and necessary means to protect themselves in toxic relationships.
However, immature INFJs tend to use the door slam as a ‘solve everything’ solution
rather than as a last resort.
They usually either don’t try or give up too quickly when communicating the root issues
that arise in their relationships.
They approach all conflict from a place of defense.
Mature INFJs approach conflict from a place of shared goals.
They have a much higher emotional intelligence.
They are a lot more measured with their reactions and thought processes.
They use their gift for empathy to see other people’s perspectives and are very good
at deescalating a situation enough to get to the real issues at hand.
This means if and when they choose to cut people out of their life, it will be highly
considered and truly necessary.
Mature INFJs Don’t Live Double Lives
Most immature INFJs struggle with self-worth issues.
This is because their strengths are rarely held up as ideals.
This is particularly the case with INFJ Men who don’t tend to fit into our world's stereotypical
definition of what it means to be a man, such as not showing emotions and portraying a macho
persona.
In order to fit in, they will then try to act tougher than they are and hide their true
feelings.
Some INFJs can become so confident at portraying these fake personas, people genuinely believe
it’s the real them.
In essence, they are living a sort of double life because of their insecurities.
With maturity, INFJs let go of people’s expectations of who they should be and how
they should act.
They are not ashamed by their sensitivity, their kindness, their aversion to stepping
over others to get what they want.
They take time to create their own definitions for what it means to be a man, woman, father,
mother, or any other identity they want to align with.
Mature INFJs Do Not Fear Failure
INFJs are lifelong perfectionists whether they're mature or not.
It is what makes an INFJ an INFJ.
However, there is a distinction.
Immature INFJs have an accompanying fear of failure which often holds them back from opportunities
and trying new things.
For example, in even something as simple as sending an email, they might read it half
a dozen times for mistakes, then start questioning how their tone might be taken by the recipient.
And where they too harsh and maybe if they added a smiley face?
And so on and so forth.
A simple task that should have taken 5 minutes can easily take far longer for these INFJs.
This is because their self-esteem is inherently tied to their performance on any given task.
In maturity, INFJs have a greater awareness and acceptance of their fallibility.
They still struggle with perfectionism, but they often allow themselves far more grace
to make mistakes.
They view such occurrences as learning opportunities in order to improve and do better next time.
Mature INFJs manage their perfectionism and don’t let it control them away from their goals.
There are a number of reasons for an INFJs lack of maturity which can’t possibly be
covered in one video.
There are some INFJs who haven’t had a lot in the way of life experiences, so naturally,
they have a narrower perspective.
Others haven’t invested in their own self-development.
For some, it’s due to learning unhealthy coping mechanisms from growing up or living
in volatile and abusive environments.
Whatever the reason, for these INFJs the road to maturity can be fraught and often seem
so out of reach it’s impossible.
However, it is very possible.
INFJs just need to learn to structure their lives by design and not default.
They need to trust their intuition
and not be shamed in hiding their gifts.