-Welcome back.
It's an audience full
of veterans
-I know. -and servicemen
-Thank you, guys. -and -women.
-Thank you.
[ Cheering and applause ]
-You are -- You are Rambo. You are Rambo.
-Yeah, I'm pretend. They're the real thing,
so, thank you very much, guys. -Yeah.
[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
I'm sure, as being Rambo, I'm sure a lot of veterans
have come to you throughout the years.
-Yeah, they have. They said like,
"You don't know what you're doing."
[ Laughter ]
"You cannot take on half the world with a knife.
It just doesn't work.
[ Laughter ] Or you cannot take a gun
that usually is mounted on a helicopter,
hold it with one arm, wrap bullets around your neck,
and just run through the woods naked
[ Laughter ] and actually accomplish anything."
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
I don't know if you remember this.
The last time we saw each other,
it was New Year's Eve in Los Angeles, California.
-Oh, yeah. It was a horrible day.
[ Laughter ] I remember.
-It's not horrible. -I know where you're going
with this. -It was a great day.
-Okay. -It was one of my best --
It was one of the best memories of my life.
I went to -- I was at the Polo Bar
-Right. -at the Beverly Hills Hotel.
-Right. -There with my wife
-Right. -and we're hanging out.
We had a dinner and it was New Year's
and they had a nice piano player there.
-Mm-hmm. -And the piano player --
They said, "Jimmy, would you like to sing something?"
-Right. -And so I sang.
I got up and sang with the piano player.
I sang "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?"
-Exactly.
[ Laughter ] -And then I heard,
when I got done, there was a round of applause
and someone said, "You have the voice of an angel..."
-Mm-hmm. -and gave me a $100 bill.
-Yes. -And that was you.
-That was me.
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
That's only half the story. -Yeah.
-He got the money because I wanted him to really shut up.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Giving me such a migraine, guys, you know?
Christmas carols are rough,
but... -Yeah, yeah, that one was real bad.
-Yeah. It wasn't popular.
It was like a weird song. But go ahead.
-I want to talk about "Tulsa King,"
but before I do that... -Yeah.
-...you broke the Internet a couple weeks ago
by posting this photo -[ Laughs ]
-of you and Arnold Schwarzenegger
carving pumpkins together.
[ Laughter and applause ] -Oh, my God.
-Is this something you do?
-Well, usually, we make pot holders,
[ Laughter ] but this is, you know.
Yeah, this is what happens to get a little bit older.
No, he -- I'm doing a reality show
and I gave him a call. I says,
"Yeah, can I come over?"
He goes, "Yeah, come on over.
I'll bring my donkey. You can pet it."
[ Laughter ] -"Come over and pet my donkey"?
-Pet my donkey. Stroke my horse.
I come over and there are these fuzzy things in his office.
A donkey and a pony, in the office!
I mean, not like, okay, with diapers. Just walking around.
[ Laughter ] I go, "When's it going to take a dump?"
[ Laughter ] I mean, who --
what secretary signs up for that?
[ Laughter ] -Yeah. -But, anyway,
after we do our little tête-à-tête talking, he goes,
[ As Schwarzenegger ] You want to carve a pumpkin?
[ Laughter ] I go --
-[ As Schwarzenegger ] You want to carve my pumpkin?
-I'm telling you. -Yeah, I know, yeah.
-And he goes like, "Pumpkin!" And the pumpkins appear.
Then it's like, "Knives!"
And some guy bringing knives. I mean,
[ Laughter ] it's unbelievably choreographed.
This guy's the real deal. -I mean, these are crazy.
These aren't like pumpkin carving knives.
-No, when I saw this knife, I go...
[ Laughter ]
..."It's home team."
So, we had a pumpkin carving contest
and I'm glad to say
that I went down, got the head off,
both eyes and nose and mouth done
before he got one eyeball.
[ Cheering ] -That's what I'm talking, alright.
That's what I'm talking about.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Congrats on "Tulsa King."
-Thank you very much. -You're getting rave reviews
on this already.
I think it's perfect for you.
-Thank you. -How would you describe
the character?
-Well, it's interesting because it's --
it's very hard to find a new concept,
but this is the guy who takes a fall for someone,
who goes to jail for 25 years, keeps his mouth shut,
expecting to be rewarded by his Mafia "family."
Instead, he's shipped out to Tulsa because they want
to get rid of him, basically to drop dead and die.
And I thought, "Wow, this is all about loneliness
and starting over," because the worst thing
that could ever happen to anybody is like
drop your life and, literally, you are shipped out somewhere.
You go, "How do I start over?
I'm like 76 years old."
But that's the beauty.
He starts a new family there, but there's no Italians,
there's no Mafia guys,
so, I'm getting like computer nerds, cowboys,
Indian guys, you know, I mean, really, the most oddball group
and that becomes my new, weird gang family.
-Yeah. -So, it provides a lot of comedy
and it's interesting.
And I do go Rambo a couple of times.
[ Cheering and applause ] No, he does --
He does, I mean --
-Yeah, you do.
In the first three minutes of what I saw,
I think you knocked out like five guys.
-Yes. -Yeah, but, I mean, but, yeah.
But you - It is very funny, by the way.
-But they deserved it! -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] Of course!
Of course they deserved it, yeah.
I saw you showed Demi Lovato how to do an onscreen fight scene.
-Yeah, that's right.
-Take a look at this thing. Watch this.
-Jab me.
[ Clunk ]
-Go get him, D!
[ Clunk ]
[Indistinct].
[ Clunking ]
Okay. Here it comes.
Here it comes.
Unh!
[ Clunk ]
[ Cheering and applause ]
-Demi -- Demi Lovato!
-Now, you don't, for a second, think that's real.
That was an art form.
That shows you how you can actually choreograph
and fake a punch,
but it takes a little bit of practice,
and I don't know if you got it.
[ Oohs, cheering, and applause ] I mean, you know.
I don't know.
I think Demi could take you out.
That's -- I'm just saying.
-You don't think I could take a fake punch?
-I don't you could take a fake punch.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-[ As Schwarzenegger ] You want to carve my pumpkin?
What are you doing?
[ Laughter and applause ]
You know, you can't take my punch.
You can't take my fake punch. How's that?
-Can you give me a tip on how I could take a fake punch?
-You actually want to do this?
-I would love -- Yeah.
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ Whistling ]
-You tell me where to stand. -Alright.
Alright, what do I do?
I'm getting nervous. -I'm serious.
[ Laughter ]
This is making me so nervous.
-Oh, no, no, no, seriously.
Alright, now, first of all -- -Okay.
-Well, you got to put a little water in your mouth
because what I'm going to do is I'm going to lay it on you.
If you get close, I will break your jaw.
I mean, I'm just telling you right now.
I don't want to hurt you. I like you.
You're tall, good-looking.
[ Laughter ] But,
you're now -- -Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, aah!
[ Laughter ] Ow, ow, ow! Ow!
This is what I said to De Niro.
We were doing "Grudge Match" together. I go,
"Those damn Oscars ain't gonna save you in here."
[ Laughter ]
Okay, so.
-A sip of water? -Water in there
-Okay. -and then I'm going to throw
-Uh-huh. -like wham! A left.
And you're going to do a spin and spit the water out
and make it look like you're really in trouble.
-Okay.
[ Cheering and applause ] I'm so scared.
[ Mumbling ]
-Right?
Huah!
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ Whistling ]
-It was good? -That was good.
-Slow motion, can we see?
[ Laughter and applause ]
I want to show another clip.
Here's Sylvester Stallone in "Tulsa King."
Take a look at this.
-It seems we have a slight misunderstanding.
See, my associate was in earlier,
trying to buy that Navigator that you got downstairs,
but you wouldn't sell it to him.
-Oh, boy. I-I'm so sorry.
-Why, Donnie?
Well, you know, it was a total misunderstanding,
like you said yourself.
-The truth is, he's a good kid.
Probably never had a day of trouble in his life.
You know, see, the problem is, you see a young Black guy
with a mountain of money and, right away, you say,
"Hey, he's got to be a drug dealer."
-Oh! -But I walk in, in a nice suit,
and you're not afraid anymore.
See, the irony is
he's afraid of the wrong thing.
-I'm not following.
-Well, follow this.
[ Cheering and applause ] -Yeah!
[ Thud ] Exactly right!
[ Whistling ]
Sylvester Stallone, everybody.
"Tulsa King" premieres Sunday, exclusively on Paramount+.
We'll be right back with Linda Cardellini.
Stick around. Do one more?
[ Funk plays ]
-♪ Let's see if I was real, unh ♪
♪ Try to see if God is real ♪
♪♪