Look at that...
Cupid's lips to die for!
(Laughs)
(Saxophone playing)
- Hello boys and girls! I'm Ian Adams,
and I'm the pantomime dame here
at the wonderful Wolverhampton Grand Theatre.
- My name is Tina Trumpington
and you find me here...in Wakefield!
- Dame Dolly here!
I should be onstage at my beloved
Theatre Clwyd, Mold...
But instead, I'm stuck here!
- Dame Trott here, from the Cambridge Arts Theatre.
Oh, it's devastating isn't it, to think that
there's so many pantos
all across the country that aren't going to be taking place.
It's left all of us in a state of shock!
Confusion...
And ecstatic joy!
Oh no, hang on, wait a minute... no, no, no...
That's definitely not right, no...
That's not in the script, is it?
Oh yes it is!
- Oh no it isn't!
- Ooooooooooh yes it is!
(glass smashing)
- I'm not even going to try and beat that,
Let's just get on with it, shall we?
(festive jazz music)
- Loving, caring...
Butch.
- Friendly, warm-hearted...
And she should never forget she's a man in a frock.
- A warm auntie to the children,
a cheeky best friend to the mums, and...
a figure of white-hot allure for the dads!
(bleep)
(jazz music resumes)
- Rude, wicked, malicious.
- Never be nasty, never be unkind.
- With me, I find if I get the right brassiere,
everything falls into place.
- Generously proportioned bloomers that offer
a strong updraft to aerate the under-crackers.
- Don't wear anything that doesn't fit!
I mean, this one is getting a bit tight...
- The contouring of Kim Kardashian,
the shading of Samantha Fox
and, because of the hot theatre lights,
the durability of Geoff Capes' jockstrap!
- Well, with me, I like to look in the mirror
and think it's all been done by Dulux.
Oh, how very dare you!
- My first panto experience was when,
at the tender age of six,
I first witnessed my father playing...
...panto dame!
- Mt first experience, I was six years old.
I went to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarves with my grandmother.
Who would have thought I would end up like this?
- The audience. They come, not just to watch,
but to participate in something joyous,
hopeful, and outright daft.
- It's the most magical time of the year,
and it's usually the first time somebody sees
a live piece of theatre.
- It's a collection of so many things.
It's a lovely hotchpotch of jokes, of songs,
of dances, of sketches and...
you just get a chance to do anything.
- If I wasn't wearing so much makeup,
I might even shed a tear to that.
(upbeat music)
If you lot are mourning the fact that
your local pantomime isn't happening this year
then you can stream the National Theatre's
production of Dick Whittington
for free, on YouTube, for a limited time
from the 23rd of December.
- And, if you'd like to support the work of your local theatre,
through this incredibly difficult time,
you can do so via their website.
Now, I'm sending you huge festive wishes,
to one and all!
Bye!
- Sorry...
I've got a bacon frazzle stuck back there.