>> THIS GUY HAS FOUR STARS. I WONDER WHAT MY RATING IS.
HOW THE [BLEEP] AM I A 3.9? I GUESS I DO MAKE THE DRIVERS
WAIT A LOT. >> 3.9 STARS?
WHAT IS HE A PSYCHO? >> I WONDER WHAT MY RATING IS.
3.9? WELL, I GUESS I DID HIT THAT
KID. >> OKAY, I GOT TO GET MY RATING
UP TO AT LEAST 4. I'M GONNA NEED A FIVE STAR
REVIEW. >> FIVE-STAR RIDE.
YOU CAN DO THIS, PETROS. >> OKAY, NOW TRY TO FORM A
CONNECTION. ASK HIM SOMETHING ORIGINAL, THOUGHTFUL. SOMETHING
NO ONE ELSE WOULD ASK. SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN
DRIVING AN UBER? NAILED IT.
>> IS GOOD QUESTION. I'VE BEEN DRIVING ABOUT SIX
MONTHS. >> COOL.
>> NOW YOU ASK HIM A QUESTION. SOMETHING PLEASANT AND
NON-CONFRONTATIONAL. WHAT RELIGION ARE YOU?
DAMN IT. >> OH, I'M NOT REALLY THAT
RELIGIOUS. I PUT ON SOME MUSIC.
WHAT WOULD HE LIKE...? >> IS THIS WHAT HE THINKS I
LIKE? >> HUH?
>> YEAH I LOVE THIS STYLE OF MUSIC.
>> OR I CAN PUT SOMETHING ELSE ON?
>> ALRIGHT THINK. >> AM I RACIST FOR THINKING THIS
IS THE MUSIC HE LIKES? >> I DO LIKE RUSSIAN TRANCE
MUSIC. YOU CAN DO THIS PETROS.
FIVE-STAR RIDE. USE THE MINTS.
PEOPLE LOVE THE MINTS. YOU WANT MINTS?
>> UM, SURE. >> AND MINT.
>> OH GREAT. >> JUST FOR YOU, TAKE AS MUCH AS
YOU WANT. >> ARE THESE OFF BRAND RUSSIAN
MINTS? JUST TAKE THE MINT.
>> WAIT, WAIT, I SPILLED SOUP. >> OH MAN IS THAT
CUBA GOODING JR? >> WHAT NO WAY.
>> THIS IS A REALLY GOOD MINT, THANKS MAN!
>> I SAW THAT. >> HE TOTALLY SAW THAT.
DUDE'S FREAKING OUT. THINK, YOU NEED TO GET THIS FIVE
RATING. HOW'S THAT?
A LITTLE SHOULDER MASSAGE. YOU SEEMED A LITTLE TENSE.
>> IT'S NICE. >> GOOD YES.
>> YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIM. >> IS THIS OKAY?
>> SURE YEAH. >> OOTSIE BOOTSIE.
>> TOOTSIE. NICE. >> IS ALL ABOUT PRESSURE POINTS.
>> WATCH THE [BLEEP] OUT. GET OUT OF THE WAY.
WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING? >> THIS WHOLE HORSE AND PONY
SHOW TO IMPRESS EACH OTHER. >> THESE RATINGS HAVE DRIVEN US
CRAZY. >> IS LIKE EPISODE OF "BLACK
MIRROR" OR SOMETHING! OH MAN, YOU WATCH "BLACK MIRROR"
TOO? [ TOGETHER ]
>> THAT'S MY FAVORITE SHOW. >> WELL, THIS IS ME.
>> HEY. FIVE STARS.
>> RIGHT BACK AT YOU, BROTHER. HAVE A GOOD ONE, PETROS.
>> ADIOS, COWBOY. >> WHOA!
PETROS, WHAT THE [BLEEP]! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]