Hi.
I just learned that you haven't been here in a year and a half.
Is that right?
It doesn't seem like it.
It doesn't.
Maybe that's wrong.
Maybe it's so right, it's wrong.
Maybe it's so wrong that it's right.
I want to ask you about your hand.
You broke it?
Is that what it is?
I broke my wrist.
You broke your wrist?
Yeah.
It's a distal radial fracture.
A distal radial fracture.
And what's that little thing you have on there?
This is like a scar thing that's supposed to help it not scar.
I see.
Well, I can't see it.
So it does the work because it's covering it.
Yes.
How long ago did it happen?
What did you do?
It happened a couple of months ago.
And we were on a ski vacation, so what I like to say to people
is that I was skiing, but that's not true.
I was in a ski town.
There was a ski mountain visible,
and I just fell down on my own toes.
I just literally like--
I wiped out for no reason.
So where were you, physically?
I was just going to lunch.
And you tripped over like what?
I don't know.
It's so embarrassing because people kept saying like, oh,
but it was icy.
And I was like, no.
And they were like, oh, but you were skiing?
And I was like, no.
And then they were like, oh, but you know, you probably--
there was like a shoelace, and it was like--
No.
I just like--
I mean, this is now--
I'm just like a person who falls down.
You know what I mean?
Like, I've gotten to that place where it's like, oi, my hip.
And so I fell down.
And I fell like this, and it was like at a weird, bad angle,
and-- but I get very nervous about--
Wait.
You were falling?
So you tucked under, like--
you didn't fall with your--
that's what-- why would you do this if you're falling down?
I was scared of falling.
Oh, no.
I don't know.
But I guess I--
because I didn't go down like--
I don't really know.
I kind of blacked out, but I just fell
and then my first thought for whatever reason was like,
don't embarrass yourself.
But I already fell, so how much worse could it get?
But then I just stood up real fast like, no problem.
Everything is fine, and there was a guy crossing the street,
and he was like, are you OK?
And I was like, yeah.
I'm fine.
Were you by yourself?
Yes, I was by myself.
I was going to meet a friend for lunch,
and so I went into the restaurant
and I sat there for a second.
And I was like, this is really bad.
And so I asked for a giant bag of ice, which
being in a ski town, they had.
No one questioned me.
They just gave it to me.
And then I went to the emergency room.
Wait.
So did you look-- was it in a weird angle?
Was it like completely in the wrong--
Yeah, it was more like this.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And looked good.
Yeah.
No, it still looks kind of Frankenstein-y.
No, it doesn't look like anything.
But we have an X-ray of what they've done to you.
I don't know.
There must be a more current, modern way to fix things.
That's one, but then look at all the screws.
That's overkill right there.
It's hilarious.
Everyone's like, oh, gross.
Well, first of all--
Is that coming out?
Does that come out?
No, it stays there.
I know.
The good news is if you--
I mean, that's almost coming out the other side.
That's--
I know.
What you realize is there's a whole world of ski injuries,
and I wanted to be part of that world so badly.
So people would be like, oh, did you do it on Shane's Lament
or whatever, the black diamond?
And I'd be like, oh, yeah.
The old, you know, downhill racer.
I don't know what the names of the slopes are.
The old downhill racer.
And so I would just lie to people
and tell them that I did it skiing.
Wow.
I know.
Yeah, and now you're telling it to everyone that you didn't.
Well.
So now people just think you're a liar.
Well.
Or a really cool skier.
You know they know now that you aren't.
Oh, right.
OK, this is on--
That's what I'm saying.
Sorry, I forgot.
Seriously, there must be-- is there a doctor here?
There must be a better way to heal than just hardware.
That's from a hardware store.
I know.
It's from Home Depot.
They're just screws.
Mm-hmm.
I know.
I don't know.
I mean, also shouldn't they dissolve or something?
I mean that just stays there?
Once it heals?
Yeah.
Once it heals, it should dissolve.
Yeah.
Like on Mission Impossible, when the tapes would self-destruct
after a certain time.
Anyone over 50?
And this is her new book.
It is called In Conclusion: Don't Worry
About It, which is based on a speech.
You went back to your old high school.
Yes.
And my father signed me up to give the graduation speech
at my high school, and then announced it to me.
He was like, hey, you know Bill from tennis?
And I was like, what?
And he's like, yeah, so you're going to do the graduation
speech at Langley.
And I was like, wait.
I don't even understand.
He made friends with someone whose grandchild
went to my high school, and thusly, I'm giving this speech.
I haven't even been there for many, many years.
And then I was asked to publish a version of the speech.
I expanded it and changed it.
And so it's just a little book.
It's a gift for graduates.
Yes, and so it's basically your experience in high school
and giving advice on other people.
Yes
And are you honest about your high school experiences?
For sure.
Well, it's not all in there.
Well one of the things I talk about
is if you had to pick on that graduation day
all those years ago who would be sitting here,
or who would be doing any of the things I've gotten to do,
you would not have picked me necessarily.
And so, one of the messages I thought about
as I was looking back is, things happen
at all different times of life and you shouldn't
feel so much pressure on these moments like graduation,
like these big, supposed big you know transitional moments
that they don't always--
they're not always what they're cracked up to be.
Right.
Some people ripen later on in life.
That is right.
Yes.
And some people ripen in high school
and then they go downhill.
That's right.
That's right,
You go back to those reunions, and the people
that we're the cool ones, you're like, look at you now.
Ha, ha, ha!
So do you talk about not driving without a license in here?
Not in this book.
I didn't see it.
It's in another book of mine.
We thought it was such a good plan.
Mothers Against Drunk Driving was very big at the time,
as it should always be.
And I didn't have a license, but I also didn't drink.
So you know, I drove the car.
My friends drank.
I didn't have a license.
It all evened out.
I see.
It was probably fine.
It was the safer thing to do for sure.
Yes.
Are you a good driver?
Well, I've been driving for a long time.
That doesn't mean anything at all.