Hi there!
So I’ve got bad news.
I’m problematic.
But I feel like everybody is in some way.
Saying you're not problematic is like saying you're perfect and have absolutely no room
for improvement which is definitely not the case with me.
I could work on a lot.
You see the other day a post popped up on my Tumblr that was like your fave is UNproblematic:
Evan Edinger and it went on to describe how I'm basically perfect, outlining all the good
things I've done in the past, but what it really did was scare the crap out of me!
Like, it was obviously meant as a nice thing, but all I saw was a giant pedestal being laid
out for me.
And the worst part about it is when I reblogged it saying guys guys guys please?
I feel a bit uncomfortable.
Please don't put me on this pedestal, people then replied to it with
aww he's so humble…
RAISE THE PEDESTAL.
That is definitely not the solution.
I see a lot of people bringing up old tweets from YouTubers trying to find ways to make
them problematic just like when everybody used to bring up those tweets from viners
saying things like women should shave their arms.
Now of course what you should see with that is yes, it's a stupid tweet, it's a stupid
thing to say, but that's because they're just a stupid kid.
Trying to find ways of making someone problematic is stupid because everyone is problematic.
It's what you do after you discover you're problematic that really makes you who you
are.
Do you respond with an apology?
Do you respond with one of those terrible apologies like "I'm sorry YOU GUYS got offended"
or do you actually mean it?
Do you want to change who you are to become a better person.
Because that is really the way t... forward.
I'm not trying to excuse anything problematic that anyone's said in the past.
What I'm saying is when you're younger, you're not really yourself.
You are who your parents brought you up to be, you are what your teachers taught you,
you are what your friends taught you.
You are kindof a combination of all these things and yet not necessarily your own person
yet because you're too much biased by what everyone else is telling you.
It took me a while to understand who I am, but if you look at some of my old tweets and
some of the old thoughts I used to have in high school and even college, even 2 years
ago!
You wouldn't want to hang out with me ever.
I'd be the most problematic.
I've definitely learned a lot growing up.
Even in the last 2 years I've lived in England.
For instance, if someone has depression, NEVER do this:
*sigh* What's wrong?
I don't know; I just feel depressed.
Why don't you just be happy?
Oh, ya know what?
I never thought of that!
Oh my God!
I feel great!
It's really not that simple.
If it were that simple, why would they be depressed in the first place?
I just like being sad.
Yeah, no.
Other things you should avoid are recommending superficial suggestions.
Just have some ice cream!
Why don't you go for a job?
Have you tried Googling it?
Just play a video game and forget about it.
You're really not helping; what you're doing there is like telling a man with a limp to
just walk.
Just walk!
It's super easy!
Come on, just walk!
What are you doing?
Why aren't you walking!
But this isn’t just the case with depression.
It’s all mental health issues.
I remember at one point in my life my friend was like:
Evan I really want to see this concert, but I can’t wait in the lines because I get
really bad anxiety when I have to wait in a queue.
to which at the time I thought a good response would be:
Well, why don’t you just not think about it?
which is so patronising.
And I think the root cause of it, at least for me, was just a lack of understanding of
any mental health issues.
I didn't know about it, I never learned about it, and I didn't care to learn about it.
Because I don't have depression.
I don’t have anxiety.
Why can't they all just be like me?
Why can't everyone just be like me?
It’s such a foolish way of thinking.
And the worst part is I never really, fully understood it until something similar happened
to me.
In December this past year, I was incredibly low on money, I had recently lost a lot of
friends, I was jobless, looking for a job looking for a flat to move in with my friend
that I could afford in the future because I had to move out of my current flat within
2 months, and I was still trying to make YouTube videos every week because I wanted to maintain
that for personal goals.
And at one point, I just couldn't handle it, and I had a mental breakdown.
I had my first massive anxiety attack.
I had never had an anxiety attack before so I had no clue what was going on.
All I know is that everything inside of me was breaking down and wanted to sob, but yet
when I kept trying to think about it rationally, I was like Why am I sad?
Why am I crying?
And I couldn't come up with anything except for more sobs.
And it was so frustrating.
And I had nothing I could do about it.
Why?
What's wrong with me?
I thought I was normal!
Why am I having anxiety attacks?
The thing that I needed to realise was that, that was normal.
Everyone has these from time to time except no one likes to talk about them because everyone
wants to be perceived as perfectly well in mental health.
Nothing's wrong with me!
You guys are weird!
No.
Everyone has issues like this from time to time.
It's completely normal.
It's just no one likes to talk about mental health and no one likes to talk about mental
health issues which is a shame because so many people have problems with it.
But you know what a useful response to this was?
When I called Dodie on the phone, she didn’t say “why can’t you just be happy” She
didn't offer up stupid suggestions of things that were mostly her imprinting on me.
What she did was she asked: How can I help you?
What can I do to make you feel better?
Do you need me to come over there?
Do you need me to listen to you?
And that's all I wanted!
I didn't know it at the time, but all I wanted was someone there.
Someone I cared about, someone that cared about me to just listen to me, to just listen
to me cry.
I didn't know what was going on, but to just have that person there meant everything.
And because of that, within an hour or 2 I felt so much better.
Just having that person to talk to.
If someone is having an anxiety attack, if someone's depressed: just listen to them.
Just listen.
That's all they want.
They want you to listen.
They want to know there's someone there to care for them.
I know I've been problematic in the past, and I 100% admit that, but I also 100% admit
I am trying to be a better person.
And that is why I'm trying to tell you guys how to better deal with situations like this
and how to be a better person (yourself).
If you ever feel like you're in a low, if you've had an anxiety attack, if you're feeling
depressed, this isn't sponsored at all, but I just found out about a website called 7
cups of tea.
There's always someone there willing to talk to you and listen.
And listen.
And these people are trained to just listen to what you have to say.
It's 100% confidential, and I would highly recommend it if you're having issues.
Other than that, I really hope you liked this video because it means a lot to me.
Thank you so much for watching and subscribing.
I will see you guys next week.
Good bye.
*cue catchy slightly out of place whistling tune*
*swoosh*
Hi so I've got some bad news.
My hair is not working!
That is very bad news.
Pause for cars.
Just cause.
Just cause!
Yeah!
No?
There's so much footage I can't even use because there's helicopters everywhere.
I'm gonna have to chopper up real good.
The footage.
Nah...
Ahh I'm going to heli for that.
No.