- [Dunk] Last time I talked about game critics,
they had an embarrassing meltdown on Twitter.
Then they plagiarized this guy's review
and described how Star Wars makes you feel like a Jedi.
But with this video,
I'm shifting my focus to the stupidest
and least consistent voice in the gaming community...
The Gaming Community.
Gamers look at this article and go:
"No, this is boring."
Now "Streamer throws cat":
"This is what interests me."
Gamers will sit there and complain about Ubisoft
and EA and Activision,
to their dying breath,
and yet, what are the top selling games every year?
Ubisoft,
EA,
Activision.
There were gamers out there defending Metal Gear Survive
because we, as a species, are doomed to fail.
But before we go any further,
we need to go back.
All the way back.
(Phone Dialing SFX)
Back in medieval times,
when the internet first came out,
people reveled in their newfound anonymity
to discuss video games, like this:
- [Will Forte] "Fuck you!" (Tim and Eric Nite Live! - Episode 5)
- [Eric] "It wasn't even fucking fun!"
- [Eric] "Put that down!" - [Tim] "Get the fuck outta here!"
- [Eric] "Get the fuck outta here!"
- [Dunk] In the modern age, however, we have evolved to a higher form of discussion.
Now when gamers disagree with someone
they simply refer to the standard template of going:
The veil of usernames allows people to make a complete ass of themselves, with zero accountability.
Which is why there is such a big disconnect
between internet noise and real life.
Remember when I reviewed Octopath Traveler?
Ooh! Those people were pissed.
They wanted blood.
They were out here saying:
"Dunkey lied about a snail."
"Dunkey is a racist for not liking Octopath Traveler."
This Outrage, of course, brought up the masterpiece video called:
"Dunkey is a Bad Critic."
- [Animal Jayson] "This is where a lack of understanding of game design and history"
"hurts Dunkey as a critic the most."
"Dunkey doesn't seem to understand any of this."
"There are plenty of comedy reviewers on YouTube who make more legitimate reviews than this."
"Also, funnier reviews than this."
"Dunkey does not understand game design"
"and has not tried to."
"You were... just lying."
"That's it."
"You lied!"
"Admit it!"
- [Dunk] If you can't tell, this kid is probably 15.
So, please don't go and leave him a bunch of mean comments.
Clearly, he's just a big fan of Octopath Traveler,
which is why he made two 20-minute videos about how bad my review was.
- [Animal Jayson] "I haven't played Octopath Traveler and I don't really plan to."
"It doesn't seem like my kind of game."
"Again, I've... have not played Octopath Traveler."
"Again, I... haven't played Octopath Traveler."
"And, like I said, I haven't played Octopath Traveler."
- [Dunk] Ultimately, the backlash to my video
could be summed up in one comment:
"Dunkey, why are you reviewing something you seem not to like at all?"
(Laughs)
Anime, my boy, I'll tell you why,
because you can't only review games you enjoy.
You need a contrast to differentiate good from bad.
Sometimes, when you take a chance on a game you might not like,
you end up finding something really unique and special.
Other times you end up
with a Furby going:
- [Bana] "Meh-meh-meh!" (Xenoblade Chronicles 2)
- [Dunk] If you truly want people to stop criticizing video games,
then you might as well hand the entire industry over to EA right now.
As goofy as this comment is,
a lot of people seem to be onboard with this logic,
which is why IGN gives nearly every mayor release
a 9 or higher.
I mean, literally, every... video game released.
- [Dan Stapleton, IGN] "Performance on consoles is sometimes dissapointing" (Fallout 4 Review)
"with frecuent frame rate slowdowns and hitches in areas that run smoothly on the PC."
"On all platforms we saw occasional crashes,"
"and every so often there's a quest that won’t properly begin or end due to scripting bugs."
- [Rich George, IGN] "It has a little something for everyone."
- [Jonathon Dornbush, IGN] "The storytelling within them feels as simplistic and predictable as ever." (Kingdom Hearts III Review)
"There's nothing all that challenging about it."
"It didn't really surprise me, though."
"There's definitely a bit of sluggishness to be overall pacing too."
- [Rich George, IGN] "It has a little something for everyone."
- [Brandin Tyrrel, IGN] "The immersion is occasionally broken by draw distance," (Assassin's Creed: Odyssey Review)
"textures that sometimes arrive late to the party,"
"or getting terminally stuck on geometry."
"Or maybe a lootable item will become unreachable"
"or your tame beast becomes untamed when you die and reload."
(Bears roars)
"The bugs are annoying, sure."
"At the same time, it's padded out with meaningless errands"
"that make getting to those strong character moments"
"a painstaking gauntlet."
- [Rich George, IGN] "It has a little something for everyone."
- [Dunk] But, ooh!
On that off day, where that fucking troublemaker
Dirt dingus
gives Days Gone a 6 out of 10.
That is where they go too far.
"Fuck IGN!"
"This is why I never come here for reviews."
(- Guy who was on IGN right now for reviews.)
"Clearly,"
"this lady should be fired."
Now let's watch the review...
- [Lucy O'Brien, IGN] "Days Gone kicks off relatively simply:"
"you play as a biker riding through an op-" (Dunkey clicks ahead)
- [O'Brien] "...somewhere-" - [Dunk] Yeah. See- See what she did wrong?
- [Dunk] She gave Days Gone a 6.5-
I- I mean, this is the guys who did Bubsy 3D.
Do you really think those guys are gonna drop the ball?
And it has zombies and open-world?
Hello?
Now, how come I can talk shit on every game
and IGN can't talk shit on any game?
Well, isn't it obvious?
It's because...
IGN is nitpicking and biased.
I win!
Bye-bye!
Shut the website off.
[OUTRO] ♪ "GT Mode 3" - Gran Turismo 4 OST ♪