The world's slowly opening back up, which means we wanted to know what it would be like
to be stuck in an airport.
Ok, fine, we saw Terminal starring Tom Hanks and immediately thought, hey, there's something
for the Info lab rat to do!
Day 1:
I live in an airport now, this is my life.
Well, at least for the next five days.
So I was hesitant about this challenge, because I thought there'd be no way that I could successfully
evade being spotted given how few people are flying nowadays.
In the US airport traffic dropped from as much as 2.5 million people a day to just under
100,000 when the pandemic first hit, but turns out that with people getting vaccinated the
world's slowly opening up again, so airport traffic is once more up.
But not that much, as I quickly found out.
To tell the truth LAX, one of the busiest airports in the world, still feels empty.
Me and the girlfriend have been through here frequently flying out on vacation or to see
family or for work, so we're used to pressing throngs of crowds everywhere you go.
However, when I got past security and to the terminals area, the place was shockingly empty.
I mean, there were still a lot of people here, but maybe half as usual.
By the way, Infographics had to pony up for a plane ticket to get me past security, and
the show's lawyers apparently confirmed that even if I got caught, I wouldnt' face any
real trouble.
Of course, I'm pretty sure the show's lawyers are actually just someone Google searching,
“Can I get in trouble for staying at airport?”.
But you know what, there's a prize at stake, and me wants it bad.
The show has given me a challenge...a challenge-in-a-challenge if you will, to get into one of the elite
VIP lounges, and if I can manage the feat then they will pay for a trip for me and the
girlfriend anywhere we want.
Well, anywhere in the continental US, anyways.
I'm pretty sick of coronavirus lockdown, so I want that trip.
So how does one sneak into a VIP lounge?
Well, you don't.
There's always staff at the entrance which usually has to electronically unlock the door
for you to enter after they verify your credentials, because you wouldn't want any dumb normals
to ruin your VIP fun time after all.
Going in through a service area would be an option, except the US government is pretty
frowny face on the whole 'sneaking into non-public areas inside airports' ever since certain
events in the early 2000s.
I don't feel like going to federal prison, so no thanks.
Instead of sneaking in, I'm just going to walk in.
And what's more, I'll be allowed inside.
Let me explain.
My goal is to simply follow someone who is already going to the VIP lounge, and on the
way try and get some personal deets from them, then, later, I'll pose as their assistant
and say that they forgot something inside and won't you please just let me take a quick
look around.
How in the world am I going to do that?
I've got a plan, but it's going to take a while to pull off.
Stay tuned kids, because today Infographics show is going to teach you how to pull of
a con.
Anyways, there's not much to report about my first day at the airport, except that it's
really boring.
I brought my laptop and tablet, like any good traveler, and there's plenty of tables with
plugs for your electronics so I mostly just minded my own business and watched movies.
I even did some research on local conditions in Oregon for our Bigfoot trip later this
month in May- that's right, if you missed the announcement my next challenge is to hunt
for Bigfoot in a hotspot area, and I'll actually be filming it so you'll get to see real footage.
You can expect that episode probably in mid to late June.
Now, my biggest concern is getting spotted too many times by staff, so the key is to
remain mobile throughout the week.
Luckily LAX is huge, so changing terminals is not a problem, just hop on a tram and boom,
you're a new you in a new place.
I'll have to remain mobile, but living in this airport is probably going to be cake.
Day 2:
Last night I slept stretched out on several seats at one of the near-empty terminals.
Not super comfortable, but honestly, I've slept worst places- and many of those places
were thanks to the show.
In order to not draw attention I found a gate that had a few other people, then just settled
down like I was another passenger who's flight got delayed.
First things first I went to the bathroom to change my clothes and give myself a quick
babywipe shower in one of the stalls.
I think there's actually real showers in LAX somewhere, I'll have to check it out later
when I start to get too grimy for babywipes.
Next, I hopped to Cinnabon for a very unhealthy breakfast, and let me tell you, fresh cinnamon
rolls are pretty much the most delicious thing on this planet.
But I couldn't linger, flights were already starting to come in and I had a job to do.
I moved to terminals for flights coming in from smaller cities on the west and midwest,
which took some research to find all the large enough cities that some bigshot VIP may be
living in, but that didn't have international airports or flights directly to major Asian
cities.
LAX is a popular hub for people traveling to Asia from anywhere west of Texas, so there
were several options.
Luckily, flights were already coming in by 9:30 in the morning.
First class leaves the plane first, because they're better than the rest of the peasants
crammed into potato storage or wherever normies fly.
So I had to be very punctual at my selected gates, and then wait for someone who looked
like they might be elite VIP club material... and then basically just get lucky as hell
that this person was A) actually having a layover, and B) going to use the lounge.
There were several prospects, and I followed them around but most went straight to other
gates.
One guy actually went to a VIP lounge and checked in, but that was no good for me.
See, the other thing I needed was for my mark to take the time to stop somewhere and buy
something, so I could have time to scope out some of their personal details.
Honestly, this is all basic recon skills Uncle Sam already taught me, just applied in a way
that Uncle Sam would probably really frown upon.
Like any good recon op, the key is patience, and today just wasn't my day.
That's ok, I had three more.
For bed time, I hit up a different terminal than last night's and once more, pretended
to be a stranded traveler.
I suppose if I was sleeping in a gate all alone I might draw attention, but being smart
about it and sticking to those gates with other sleepers let me blend in.
I thought I'd be really bored with not much to do at the airport, but the challenge of
scamming my way into a VIP lounge honestly ate up most of my day as I followed random
people around.
Day 3:
LAX is pretty massive, and has dozens of restaurants and food vendors.
That's pretty good, because I can hit up new places every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
What's not good is how insanely expensive airport food is, but hey, Infographics is
picking up the tab and let me tell you- they're not going to be happy when they see my expense
report.
Alright, once more I was on the prowl for my mark bright and early after a quick change
of clothes and baby wipe shower.
Turns out LAX has no showers for the public, so that's a bummer.
But hey, I spent months at a time taking baby wipe showers so a week isn't going to kill
me.
Along with my personal items and clothes, I brought a few extra accessories like a bandanna
my dog usually wears, a big scarf the girlfriend doesn't know I stole for the week, and few
other random bits like that.
If you saw my challenge of staying 24 hours in a grocery store, then you know that the
key to staying unnoticed is to frequently make changes to your appearance.
That's something other Youtube challenge experts won't tell you by the way, they'll just hide
in a dumb toilet paper fort or something and pretend that was hard to do.
Here we teach you how to remain unnoticed and how to con your way into a vip lounge.
So anyways, I used the bandanna and scarf and few other items to frequently change the
appearance of my backpack, the one item that I couldn't really change.
I could wear a hat and change my shirt and pants to disguise myself and keep people from
recognizing me, but my backpack, even though I chose a very plain black color, could eventually
start to look familiar to people.
But by tying a bandanna to it or doing something to alter its appearance, I break the pattern.
This would be a big help in stalking my prey, because I didn't want to freak someone out
by following them across various trams and terminals.
Sadly, today was unsuccessful.
Nobody I chose to follow even went to a VIP lounge, they were all duds.
Another day down the tubes.
Day 4:
Today was the day.
Honestly, I'm glad Infographics bet me I woulnd't be able to get into one of the vip lounges,
because without this added challenge living in an airport is mindblowingly boring.
The hardest part is just staying mobile so people dont' recognize you, but honestly,
it's not hard.
Maybe if I were to spend a whole month here then it would be challenging.
But with plenty of bathrooms, electric outlets, comfortable chairs, and restaurants galore,
there's really no difficulty in living out of an airport.
Unless you like privacy.
However, gaining access to a vip lounge gave me something to focus on, and today I was
successful.
It happened at around 2pm, another regional flight came in and bam- there he was.
Tall white guy, dressed business casual but with very expensive shoes and a very expensive
watch.
That was the giveaway for me, so I followed him.
I just needed him to actually be traveling past Los Angeles and to have a layover long
enough to want to hit up a private lounge.
Total crapshoot I know, but by this time I'd easily followed a hundred prospective individuals-
I'm not kidding when I say it's literally the only thing I've done for most of my last
72 hours.
My mark immediately headed for the terminal with many of the day's Asian destinations,
which tipped me off that this one was definitely worth following.
I had already taken a photo of departures for reference, so I knew that there was a
flight boarding within the next ten minutes and the next wouldn't be for another few hours.
The guy wasn't in a rush, so he wasn't going to be on the flight leaving soon.
My hopes rose.
But I needed him to not just be on a long delay, I also needed him to actually stop
somewhere and give me time to snoop on his private details.
We got off the tram and he calmly walked towards the rear of the terminal, which I had also
already scoped out and I knew was the location of at least one VIP traveler's club.
I was getting pretty excited at this point, but I really, really needed him to stop somewhere
first.
If he went straight to the club I don't think I could pull my plan off the way I hoped to.
Lucky for me, Mr. VIP was in the mood for, wouldn't you know it, cinnabon!
Man, is Cinnabon not literally the best?
Yes.
The answer is Yes.
So, I quickly pulled a hat out of my bag and put it on, dropping it low over my face.
With my facemask it made it really difficult to identify me, and I found myself grateful
for mask restrictions for the first time in a year.
Next part of my plan was the riskiest, and though I'd been trained to get close to individuals
and gleam personal details without arousing suspicion, it had been a loooong time since
I'd actually done it.
Now, social distancing really ramped up the challenge level here, because I needed to
get physically close.
Luckily, I had a plan.
While Mr. VIP was in line, I quickly went across the way from the Cinnabon to a fast
food place and snatched a packet of ketchup, then made my way back.
I moved to the counter, an appropriate six feet away from where orders were being taken,
and then pretended to be talking on the phone.
For all intents and purposes, for customers I was someone possibly waiting for a difficult
order while chatting on the phone, and to the staff I was just someone coming in close
to look at the menu while chatting away.
In my pocket though, I ripped the corner of the ketchup packet slightly and then palmed
it.
With one person left before Mr. VIP placed his order, I pretended to tie my shoe while
still chatting on my phone and used the opportunity to place the open ketchup packet on the floor
next to me, squeezing it slightly so a little bit of ketchup squirted out.
Then, I waited for Mr. VIP to place his order.
Timing would be crucial.
Mr. VIP placed his order, and then moved to pay.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, then flipped it open- that's when
I made my move.
I kicked the ketchup packet over right next to his feet and swiftly moved in, grabbing
him by the same arm that he was holding his open wallet with.
In my hand that I grabbed him was my phone, only upside down and facing down his arm towards
his wallet.
I hurriedly cautioned him that he was about to step on a ketchup package and moved him
slightly away, then joked that his shoes looked really expensive, and we both looked down
at the open package I had just kicked to his feet.
He was shocked at first but then we both laughed as I apologized for scaring him, I just wanted
to avoid him ruining a great looking pair of shoes.
He thanked me and went back to paying a I departed, him having absolutely no idea that
I had just taken a photo of his open wallet.
By zooming in I was easily able to see all of the details of his drivers license, which
like most people, he kept in a clear sleeve inside the wallet.
Yes, it really is that easy.
Spy or con job movies make things like this look really difficult, but I promise you it
isn't.
It just takes some nerve and a bit of cleverness.
For my next phase of the plan I rushed into a nearby bathroom and hurriedly changed out
of my jeans and t shirt and into a pair of nice brown slacks and a casual but still nice
top I had brought specifically for this.
I also rushed to throw on a pair of brown leather shoes I brought specifically for this.
I had to look the part for the next part of the con.
What came next would rely on a bit of luck.
I came back out of the bathroom and luckily Cinnabon was busy, so Mr. VIP must have only
recently gotten his order because he was already on the move.
I followed him at a healthy distance, and sure enough, he went straight to the VIP lounge.
Now, I'm not allowed to actually say which lounge this was, because Infographics really
doesn't want to get into trouble with LAX, but I watched him begin the check in process.
Then, I made my move.
I removed my mask, because now I was pretending to be too important for things like public
health guidelines, but also because I really needed the staff at the check-in counter to
recognize my face.
Then I rushed to the counter and straight up to Mr. VIP, as I got there I said something
like, “Mr. So-and-so!
I got the- oh, I'm so sorry let me get this call, Mr. So-and-so!”
Then I hurried off pretending to receive a call.
All I needed from Mr. VIP was to not make a comment to the staff like, “who was that
weirdo?” or anything like that.
It was ok if he looked bewildered or confused, because to the staff I looked like a well-dressed
personal assistant who maybe wasn't too good at his job and maybe was a little bit rude.
His bewilderment could simply be him wondering why he puts up with me.
Also, airport staff don't get paid nearly enough to care that much about the details
to be honest.
And that, boys and girls, is the key to a good con job- never understimate how little
underpayed employees care.
Mr. VIP went into his lounge and I hurried off to be lost in the crowd, then returned
and snuck to the front area of a nearby gate where I could watch the VIP lounge from afar
but not be spotted by the staff.
Once more, it was a waiting game.
It took almost three hours, but finally, Mr. VIP exited the lounge and headed off to his
gate.
I watched him go until I was satisfied he wasn't coming back, then waited another fifteen
minutes.
I slapped my cheeks a little bit to redden them and disheveled my hair a bit to make
it look like I had been running, and then jogged over to the VIP desk.
Before the lady at the check-in desk could say anything, I broke out into a rushed speech.
“Mr. So-and-so (I used both first and last names) was just here and he left his phone
and his- I mean, our- flight to Shanghai is leaving in like five minutes!”
I made sure to mention both his first and last names to cement the fact in this lady's
mind that I really knew who this guy was, and since she'd seen me just a few hours earlier
using his name in full before it helped sell the con.
She offered to go inside and have a quick look, but I became slightly hysterical and
begged her to just let me rush in, I know what it looks like, and I'll be in and out.
If Mr. So-and-so missed his flight or lost his phone full of very important contacts
I'd probably lose my job.
And bam, the lady nodded and hit the electronic lock letting me inside.
Now, I really wanted to show you guys the picture I snapped and sent to our head producer
to prove my feat, but that's just not going to happen.
First, I had a very stern talking-to about potential identity theft in the commission
of what may or may not have been a crime after this challenge was over.
Second, the last thing the show wants is for anybody at the airport to see this photo and
have proof that someone on staff at the show may or may not have committed a teensie weensie
amount of fraud against them.
Airport people are really touchy about you flouting their security rules.
So that was it, challenge completed, and despite some back and forth about the... morality
of how I completed it, I won that free trip fair and square.
Ok, semi-fair.
How was day 5?
Honestly, without the challenge of committing a minor felony on airport grounds, it was
pretty boring.
If the entire challenge had been to just sit there, I definitely could see how it might
have been stressful.
Lucky for me though, I got to spend my last day on my laptop planning out a trip for me
and the girlfriend to go visit her grandmother.
Her grandmother hasn't gotten any visitors since Covid hit because she's specially vulnerable,
but now that we're all vaccinated she can finally see people again.
I would have loved to take a trip somewhere nice and have a small vacation, but I'd rather
do something that'll make the girlfriend and her family happy.
Now go check out 24 hours in grocery store to learn how to commit more crimes, or check
out this other video instead!